Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Posted: 30 Jun 2011 07:40 PM PDT
2546316904500 Summertime is here in all its glory!  Everyone is coming out of hibernation and there’s a buzz on the streets as people come out in droves to partake in all the fairs, parades, sporting events, and art shows. People are soaking up the sun at the beaches, having barbecue picnics in the parks, and biking and hiking along the lakeshores and in the forest preserves.

For many, summer brings about a reawakening of the spirit, an invigoration of sorts for fun and activity. But for others, however, the season brings about a feeling of dread and helplessness. Why you ask? Let’s allow two fictional characters, John and Brad we’ll say, illustrate this all-too common experience.

John and Brad, two long-time friends, lay sprawled out on a big towel on the beach and overlook the spectacular landscape of bronzed Speedo-clad men prancing around on the hot sand and basking in the waves of the ocean.  “God, I love this time of the year! Just look at all these gorgeous guys!” gasped John, becoming intoxicated by all the eye candy surrounding them.

Brad rolled his eyes and released a heavy sigh. “I can’t believe you dragged me out here today! I’d much rather be at home watching my “Desperate Housewives” marathon on TV than to be here getting charbroiled by the sun! Some friend you are!” he complained.

“Aw, quit your bellyaching! I did you a favor by getting you out of your cave. And will you take your shirt off already? Jeez! This isn’t Alaska!”

“That’s easy for you to say! You and all these other guys out here look like Greek gods. I still haven’t gotten rid of my winter love handles and there’s no way I’m going to showcase them for the world to see!” cried Brad as his insecurities ran wild with every beefcake stud that walked by them.

“You’re too hard on yourself and you do this every summer! So you’re still coming with Craig and I to the Pride Parade, right?” said John. “Another one of my favorite activities!” sang Brad sarcastically. “I absolutely detest going to those Pride events and seeing all those pretty boys with their boyfriends and everybody is holding hands, and it just makes me sick! It just reinforces the whole realization that I’m single, dateless, and it royally sucks!”


Brad has got a serious case of the “Single Summertime Blues!”  Maybe you’re single and you don’t want to be. Could it be that you just ended a relationship with someone and this is your first summer flying solo? Maybe you’re not sporting those chiseled abs and biceps you’d fantasized about and compare yourself disappointingly to those who do possess these attributes. 

Or perhaps your life isn’t where you’d like it to be, unattained goals and wavering motivation getting you down. With all the hoopla that the summer season touts, these types of scenarios and many others can contribute to the “blah” feelings that signify the “Single Summertime Blues”. Those afflicted with this condition can even feel depressed sometimes, harboring loads of negativity and defeat.

Remember that song “Ain’t No Cure For the Summertime Blues?” It can certainly feel that way at times, but good news abounds for all those “Brads” out there with an aversion for the summer season. There is an escape from the depths of despair! Just embrace the following recommendations and you’ll be well on your way toward becoming a summer worshipper! 

These strategies, however, are not for the faint of heart! They will require initiative, courage, and risk-taking on your part to bring about any positive movement as this is a prerequisite for any kind of growth. You must choose it and be proactive!


© 2008 Brian L. Rzepczynski

Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, contributing author to GAYTWOGETHER, is one of the leading love coaches for the gay community. As a licensed dating and relationship coach, Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, DHS, MSW has over 18 years experience as a psychotherapist and life coach specializing in helping GLBT individuals and couples develop and maintain successful and fulfilling intimate relationships. He holds a doctorate degree in human sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality and a master’s degree in clinical social work from Western Michigan University. He also runs a successful private therapy practice, Personal Victory Counseling, Inc. http://thegaylovecoach.com

Thanks, Brian, and Michael at gaytwogether.com


Stew said...

Sounds like Brad doesn't like himself. And of course as long as that is the case, no one else will either.

Maybe in part two, things will turn around for poor Brad.

jimm said...

ehhrrmmm... kinda been thru this. It gets depressing to see everyone else easily socializing.

JustinO'Shea said...

So maybe it could mean there is a different way to look at the issue.

When I've tried the same ole same ole over and over and they still don't work for me. . .then I figure it's time to junk these and find some new stuff to work with. . . .maybe I get depressed just doing the same old stuff and need to try new stuff. . .in other words. . to get out of the same ole RUT. . before I drown in it. ;-))

Gary Kelly said...

I can identify with what Jimm wrote. I was fair-skinned and skinny and looked ridiculous on the beach. The kid who got sand kicked in his face by the bully.

I can also identify with Brad, except that he's missing the point. Just because you're not like "them" doesn't mean you need to be. Be yourself and be proud of who you are. That's what I've learned. Who wants to be a clone?

Study all the great people recorded by history - people who made significant contributions to humanity down through the ages - and name one who looked good on a beach.

Coop said...

I "junked" a lot of old stuff when I left high school and started college.
It had very little to do with dating, but a lot to do with socializing. I didn't have the same capacity for self reflection... so I had no clue that I was doing something important.

Back to the story. John could be too pushy.