Monday, November 30, 2009


Back to school. It was so good being home on the Cape these past nine days
or so. Good to away from classes and routine; just plain good to be with family: we had fun. And most especially good being with Peter.

We made time to be together and we talked about "matters of consequence". There were a couple of issues. . .one, really. . Peter and me..where we needed to talk things out, honest and simple. And so we did!
We made the time to listen with the ears of the heart. . . .to speak our truth with love.

One day we took a boat out, along the long the 'hand' to the end which is called Long Point. As we looked across the harbor at Provincetown we talked and let thinks sink in. . . .and realized, again, where there is love there is always an answer.

Again, "life is not a problem to be solved but a mystery to be lived". . .that a mystery - and is there any greater mystery than two guys loving each other? - gradually unfolds and reveals the beauty within. . . . and the unfolding takes time, patience, humor, work. . . and a willingness to wait for one another. . .

Thanksgiving this year had a new dimension to it for us. . .Peter and Justin.
God, I am grateful!

And I wanted to tell you this.



Sunday, November 29, 2009

BREAST CANCER DANCE. . . men get it too!


As seen on ABC national news on Monday. There hsve been 1.6 million hits!

Sent: Tuesday, November 17, 2009 3:11:21 PM GMT -08:00 US/Canada Pacific

Subject: Fw: Breast cancer "dance"
I want to work here!

Our daughter-in-law, Emily (MacInnes) Somers, created, directed and choreographed this in Portland last week for her Medline glove division as a fundraiser for breast cancer awareness. This was all her idea to help promote their new pink gloves. I don't know how she got so many employees, doctors and patients to participate, but it started to really catch on and they all had a lot of fun doing it.

When the video gets 1 million hits, Medline will be making a huge contribution to the hospital, as well as offering free mammograms for the community. Please check it out. It's an easy and great way to donate to a wonderful cause, and who hasn't been touched by breast cancer?

Friday, November 27, 2009

re: The Ugly Ducklings Project

Do you remember ever feeling you were the only one who felt the way you do? Do you ever wish there was someone you could talk to about your queer feelings? Did you ever feel like you would explode or implode if someway, somehow you didn't somehow deal with these gay feelings, this desire to love, do sex with another guy like you? And on and on. . .

We all know these feelings - well most of us do sometimes - and that there are guys "out there" (or "in here") who feel like this. As you may know Shannon Boh had set us a new blog to attempt to provide a safe space where guys can contribute their ideas, thoughts, hurts, desires, anxieties. . .

It's The Ugly Ducklings Project. .

I feel privileged that Shannon has asked me to assist him and you in this project, and has invited all of us to contribute, get involved, "share our experience, strength and hope". . . .Maybe you might post this addy on your blog or website, invite your friends to join in, or at least take a look at the site. . .at the grounding philosophy, and the beginning posts from your mates. ;-)

It's so very easy. . .
Why not just take a look?

Thanks. We all thank you.


Thursday, November 26, 2009


If you get bored watching touchie football here is some more gay narcisistic soap. . with various sequels to figure out who loves who the most. . .whatever. ;-)

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

News for my Aussie Friends. . . .

( corrected for diplomatic relations. . lol )
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus.
She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her.
She immediately moved to another seat.
This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again.
The man seemed more amused.
When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing,
she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court. The judge asked the man
(about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.
The man replied, Well your Honor, it was like this,
when the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition.
She sat down under a sign that said,
'The Double Mint Twins are coming' and I grinned.
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said,
'Logan 's Liniment will reduce the swelling,' and I had to smile.
Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said,
'William's Big Stick Did the Trick,' and I could hardly contain myself.
But, Your Honor, when she moved the fourth time
and sat under a sign that said,
'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this accident'
. . .I just lost it.

Monday, November 23, 2009


It can be so obvious, but for some reason or other some of us allow others to dump their garbage on us and we wear it the rest of the day! In other words, we allow others to define who we are, how we are going to live, how we are going to feel about ourselves and others. . . which way too often ruins our day or life . . all because we allow others to tell us who we are.


One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport.

We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us.

My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly.

So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!'

This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck'.

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around
full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment.

As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally.

Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day.
Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets,

so ... Love the people who treat you right.

Pray for the ones who don't.

Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!

Have a garbage-free day!

Sunday, November 22, 2009


Gay Relationships: Picture This Thought

You'll Never Be Lonely
If You Love The Person
You're Alone With

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
(borrowed from GAYTWOGETHER.COM)

Friday, November 20, 2009


Multimedia Wicked Local Provincetown Multimedia RSS

Wicked Local Photo by Vincent Guadazno
Julian Popko secures the pots.

Buy this photo

">julian popko2.JPG
Wicked Local Photo by Vincent Guadazno
Julian Popko secures the pots.

Thursday, November 19, 2009


We discussed this in class yesterday. IF the US Catholic bishops will/can accept this statement from the people at John Jay College of Criminal Justice -- the bishops are funding this study with big $bucks -- and accept the position of the American Psychiatric Association and modern medicine and science in general that homosexuality is not a disease or mental illness, then maybe they will stop their fundamentalist nonsence that homosexuality is an objective disorder which orients gays to intrinsically evil actions then just maybe some gay Catholic will begin the healing process from shame and guilt, self-loathing, fear of violence, etc -- the litany is well known! [Phew! that is one long sentence!!!]

It is a well known fact that the various churches have driven many thousands of gays out of the church, away from some kind of religious affiliation and active involvement. The Catholic Church is one of the chief offenders. Pope Benedict XVI says that in the Catholic Church there is room for everyone. Nice words, hope-filled words, but the actions, attitudes, etc do not back up that implied invite and welcome.

Not just the churches but society in general hold/believe without any intellectual backup that homosexuals are pedophiles.. . .that homosexuality is the same as the disease of pedophila. . .the media is very guilty of this bit time.

In the small group therapy practice I have been part of for three years now we've had some lively [a mild word! hahaha] discussion on this topic. This AP report added more fuel to the 'raging fire'. . hehehee. Four of the seven members are RCs; three of these guys are still active in the church. Our experiences with organized religion -- spirituality being part of this -- are varied and diverse. With the same people over these three years we've come to some unity in our thoughts, feelings and convictions.

I invite you readers to share your thoughts, ideas, comments about anything this blog-post might evoke. Your contributions will help our on-going education on this important issue.
THANKS in advance.

Homosexuality no factor in abusive priests

Rachel Zoll of the Associated Press has a story which indicates that the Vatican's 2005 decision to exclude gay men from the priesthood in the wake of the pedophilia scandals was misguided:
A preliminary report commissioned by the nation's Roman Catholic bishops to investigate the clergy sex abuse scandal has found no evidence that gay priests are more likely than heterosexual clergy to molest children, the lead authors of the study said Tuesday. The full report by researchers at the John Jay College of Criminal Justice won't be completed until the end of next year. But the authors said their evidence to date found no data indicating that homosexuality was a predictor of abuse.
"What we are suggesting is that the idea of sexual identity be separated from the problem of sexual abuse," said Margaret Smith of John Jay College, in a speech to the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops. "At this point, we do not find a connection between homosexual identity and the increased likelihood of subsequent abuse from the data that we have right now."
Let the search for new scapegoats begin.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

THIS is the photo of Viagra Headquarters

Subject: Who did the landscaping?

Too funny not to share!!




kinda chill in the dunes. . . . brrrrrrr

Monday, November 16, 2009


Sorry I am remiss in posing these days. . I got a bit behind in my work. . . I try to prepare the course I am teaching in Intro Psych with great care as I have a responsibility to the students not to waste their time and money. I have had a good experience in my undergrad classes, excellent caring profs. . I want to provide them with a similar opportunity.

Plus I have my own courses to study, do homework and some research. And, I need time for myself and my love-life, time to play, time to pray. Every so often I get the urge to bag it all and head home for Justin's Dunes. . .but I don't. I stick with it. . .
because,, basically, I like what I am doing. . . . I like who I am being.

And, YOU ALL, how are you all doing? What are you up to.. . ? What is going on? How's your love-life? or the lack thereof. . .? ;-)

Btw, nice nice to see Shannon posting again. . .with a lot to see! yummmmies
HOT isn't he?! Ooopss. . .who wrote that? hmmm must be my wicked twin. ho ho
ho. . .Nice guy.. . that wicked twin!

Hope you'all got some nice news for us all.
ciao ciao ~

Friday, November 13, 2009


Gay Funeral Rights Bill Vetoed By Rhode Island Governor

digg Share this on Facebook Huffpost - Gay Funeral Rights Bill Vetoed By Rhode Island Governor stumble reddit RSS

First Posted: 11-11-09 12:31 PM | Updated: 11-11-09 02:50 PM

What's Your Reaction?
Buzz up!
Don Carcieri

AP - Gov. Don Carcieri vetoed legislation Tuesday that would give same-sex couples in Rhode Island the same right to plan the funerals of their late partners as married couples.

The socially conservative Republican said the proposed protection represents a "disturbing trend" of the incremental erosion of heterosexual marriage. Rhode Island does not recognize same-sex marriage.

"If the General Assembly believes it would like to address the issue of domestic partnership, it should place the issue on the ballot and let the people of Rhode Island decide," Carcieri said in a letter to lawmakers.

Democrats hold a veto-proof majority in the Legislature and frequently override Carcieri's objections.

Sen. Rhoda Perry and Rep. David Segal, the bill sponsors, said they would seek to override the veto. They proposed the legislation after one of their constituents was unable to retrieve the body of his late partner from the state medical examiner for weeks because they weren't married or next-of-kin.

Gay rights supporters were indignant at the veto.

"It is absolutely unconscionable that Gov. Carcieri would step in the middle of people being able to take care of their loved ones at such a sorrowful time," said Kathy Kushnir, executive director of Marriage Equality Rhode Island, which advocates for gay marriage. "Why would he make it more difficult? I just don't get it."

The proposed funeral planning rights would apply to same-sex couples who have had a relationship for at least one year and pass other tests, such as owning property together. Carcieri said some of the guidelines were vague.

This link gives the whole story, plus readers' commnts, and some news about Mormons support for gay rights in Utah!!!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009


Cousins in Belgium sent this to me. . . .great scenes. . . justin

Subject: Dance for the climate! Video clip just released

Hi all,
Billy, Tony and I were a part of this dance crowd! It was an awesome scene with 14,000 people dancing on the beach to U2’s ‘Magnificent’ -- the largest event ever organised in Belgium to highlight the problem of global warming. The clip is meant to show the politicians attending the UN Climate Change Conference in Copenhagen next month that the mass public does care and are counting on them to stop talking and start acting on climate change.

To understand the big picture, see also the original clip by Nic Balthazar last year: The Big Ask: Act Now! Campaign for a strong climate law.

Please pass this on!

Thank you,

billy, tony, sara

Sunday, November 8, 2009


In case we run out of masks during the N1H1 flu season

Here is a ‘homemade’ mask you can make yourself

It is even compatible with the wearing of glasses

One thing though ---


Compare Health Plans
Compare quotes online and save money on health insurance.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Here are a few numbered segments from The Flair. . . . .vampires, gay guys, drahma. . . .etc.


This AP News via Yahoo! looks to me like inflammatory reporting. . . almost like "lets flippin' f<>k with the Muslims".. . .imho. . . .no, not humble at all. (remember Gary says I am incorrigably cheeky. . like a flippin' faerie gnome, add to that Gypsy Tramps and Thieves blood in my groin. . .. hahahaa )
Why report the man's religious affiliation? Does that change or add to the horror of yesterday's events. Will the media circus trainers turn this into a fatwa or a call to jihad from some Ayatollah Sisshidada or even bin Ladin and the Talliban [sounds like a rock group] or even Ali Baba & the 40 Thieves!

Sounds more to me like a some old shrink pup scared of being shipped off to the MotherLand where he'll be hunted out and have his Huhuh amputated, pendula and all! Has little to do with 'Allah.

Hey! it's Friday and I have one class to teach at 11 a.m. and no lectures or research jobs to do today. Whoooohaaaaaaah. . . .and Peter from P'town Portugese Bakery says "Come on down! Com'- on-a-my-house. . .my-house-a-com'on. . .Mama wants you here for supper. . . .you hear?!" Oh baby do I hear!!!! yesssssssssss.

So, guys, what are ya thinking. . . . .about this. . .about anything?

Tuesday, November 3, 2009


HOW DOES THIS GRAB YOU? What about the gay/lesbian street kids who live on the streets, thrown out of their homes. . . .can THEY obtain food stamps? Had you heard of this before??? justin

Estimate: Half of kids will get food stamps
Fallout from recession could push numbers even higher, say researchers
The Associated Press
updated 7:16 p.m. ET, Mon., Nov . 2, 2009

CHICAGO - Nearly half of all U.S. children and 90 percent of black youngsters will be on food stamps at some point during childhood, and fallout from the current recession could push those numbers even higher, researchers say.

The estimate comes from an analysis of 30 years of national data, and it bolsters other recent evidence on the pervasiveness of youngsters at economic risk. It suggests that almost everyone knows a family who has received food stamps, or will in the future, said lead author Mark Rank, a sociologist at Washington University in St. Louis.

"Your neighbor may be using some of these programs, but it's not the kind of thing people want to talk about," Rank said.

The analysis was released Monday in the November issue of Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine. The authors say it's a medical issue pediatricians need to be aware of because children on food stamps are at risk for malnutrition and other ills linked with poverty.

'Danger sign'
"This is a real danger sign that we as a society need to do a lot more to protect children," Rank said.

Food stamps are a Department of Agriculture program for low-income individuals and families, covering most foods although not prepared hot foods or alcohol. For a family of four to be eligible, their annual take-home pay can't exceed about $22,000.

According to a USDA report released last month, 28.4 million Americans received food stamps in an average month in 2008, and about half were younger than age 18. The average monthly benefit per household totaled $222.

Rank and Cornell University sociologist Thomas Hirschl studied data from a nationally representative survey of 4,800 American households interviewed annually from 1968 through 1997 by the University of Michigan. About 18,000 adults and children were involved.

Overall, about 49 percent of all children were on food stamps at some point by the age of 20, the analysis found. That includes 90 percent of black children and 37 percent of whites. The analysis didn't include other ethnic groups.

The time span included typical economic ups and downs, including the early 1980s recession. That means similar portions of children now and in the future will live in families receiving food stamps, although ongoing economic turmoil may increase the numbers, Rank said.

Pediatrician: 'Not surprising'
An editorial in the medical journal agreed.

"The current recession is likely to generate for children in the United States the greatest level of material deprivation that we will see in our professional lifetimes," Stanford pediatrician Dr. Paul Wise wrote.

Wise said the Archives study estimate is believable.

"I find it terribly sad, but not surprising," Wise said.

James Weill, president of Food Research and Action Center, a Washington-based advocacy group, said the analysis underscores that "there are just very large numbers of people who rely on this program for a month, six months, a year."

"What I hope comes out of this study is an understanding that food stamp beneficiaries aren't them — they're us," Weill said.

The analysis is in line with other recent research suggesting that more than 40 percent of U.S. children will live in poverty or near-poverty by age 17; and that half will live at some point in a single-parent family. Also, other researchers have estimated that slightly more than half of adults will use food stamps at some point by age 65.


© 2009

REGULAR GUYS. . . . . .

so, GUYS, what do you make of this notion? An actualized program for "ordinary guys", , gay/bi/what-have-you? Check it out and share your thoughts with the rest of us. I know, for me, this is a forum which helps me broaden, re-assess, change my thinking about issues. We need 'guy talk' to help us vent ideas and feelings and inter-relate with others. Thanks.

Mission Statement

Why a group for masculine gay men


"In the 22 years I've been reading personal ads, I've never once read one that says, 'GWM seeks bitchy queen for LTR.'"

In other words...

There's more than one way to be gay!

panel panel panel
Why a group for masculine guys?

Most gay men find masculinity attractive
(Check the personal ads if you have any doubt.) Yet gay culture assumes that we all grew up "different", that we’re "sisters under the skin". This leads to one of the paradoxes of gay culture: a lot of men who ridicule "traditional" masculinity (which they equate with repression), even as they lust after Troy Aikman or Ben Affleck. Yes, campy bitchiness can be a valid option (it’s a free country), but it doesn‘t come naturally (or seem very attractive) to a lot of us

Summer Softball
We don’t all have the same interests.
Camp, drag, & divas are as foreign to some of us as football and car repair are to others. There are many masculine gay guys who can’t relate to gay culture. We frequently have a very different "take" on what it means to be both a man and gay man. We often are not connected to the gay community, which, in turn, tends to view us with some suspicion (they say we’re "not gay enough"; we’re "repressed"). Well, we think you shouldn’t have to apologize for having a masculine slant.

Monday, November 2, 2009



Handle every stressful situation like a dog.
If you can't eat it or play with it,
Just pee on it and walk away.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

hmmmm. . . .just observing. . . . and. . LOST

Hello. . . .I think I'd like a little color this morning. . . .so many of the leaves have fallen. With the winds the last couple days many of the trees are bare. . . anyway. .

I was just observing: open my blog and there is a lot of ME hitting you in the face. I felt a tad embarrasssed; just happened; no planning. I am still getting more familiar with blogging, formats, settings, etc. Lots to learn. Haven't paid much attention to this part of the game. lol. .

GARY and any of you OZ guys, anything from/about Shannon? I've had one email from him since the Silent Curtain fell. . . . .Any of you see him around in Sydney?
When I open his blog. . . .yes, I still do. . . makes me sad. . .not a word there since
Oct. 13. I MISS HIM. . .and I know I am not alone.

I jut assume Shannon is OK and things are cool. He is too resourceful to not be 'cool'. . . ;-) I wonder if he checks things out here, in the blogs. . . He was OK in his last email. . . I trust that continues.

There. I've said it 'out loud'. . . not just inside me. LOL

Thanks for letting me vent a bit. I didn't go home to the Cape this weekend. . . thought about it but didn't. Took time to think my own thoughts and feel my own feelings. . . .good for the heart. ;-)

Take good care everyone.


Very cute Justin... I didn't even get scared once. But, I did expect it.

"J" - I love your observation of halloween. Maybe that's the real reason I'm not so fond of the holiday.... I'm not so fond of my family. And I've still got some Snicker bites left.

November 1, 2009

G'morning, guys. Welcome to you Rob in your comments. And Stew and J, too. . .always good stuff to share. ;-)
Strange, but as a kid I never felt comfortable with the 'trick or treat' thing. . and I was wondering about that, from the deep dark recesses of my childhood. hahaha

Stew, you mention a certain dis-ease aka 'out of sorts' with family. I don't feel that but there are 'attitudes' from family. . like with my dad we were never ever to be 'beggars': you need/want something: then work for it. Dad is very rootedly Boston Irish and the 'landed' O'Sheas from Ireland came to the US, to Boston, poor and driven out by the potato famine of the 1840s onward.

The 'brahmins' of Boston - the Cabots and Lodges. . "where the Cabots spoke only to the Lodges and the Lodges spoke only to God". .didnt want all these Cat'lic foreigner spoiling Puritan Boston. Irish Catholics couldn't find work. Job sites and store windows had signs "No Irish/Catholic need apply."

Southey heavy poor Irish beggars is now fashionable upscale South Boston by the Gays who moved in, bought up old brownstone houses and transformed the neighborhood. COOP knows what I am talking about here, right Coop?

That brooding old past, often not investigated, hung on in the psyche. Osheas didnt go begging candy from the neighbors, thank you very much, the O'Sheas threw the parties!

Grande MaMa Mme Bouvier, born at very French Quebec City, had her own mindset about how and what the children did and didn't do, what was correct and proper, etc. LOL

My brother is 12 years older, sister is 10yrs older than baby Justin! As teenagers they didn't want to cart baby Justin around. .and I don't blame them.

All this to say "trick or treat' I didn't. Later on though I did discover some tricks and treats on my own. . .LOL Living 20 miles or so south of Provincetown, dunes kids didnt go there nighttime. . .until later. . .

Party time in gay ole P'town can be raucous and crowded. There were very stong winds yesterday and the night before, so maybe that cut down on the costumes and revelry. . .they didnt want to get blown away. . .well, hehee, not that kind, anyway. Ooppss. .

So anyway, customs and holidays are all laced with past and present. . . gawwd, isn't that a profoundly pompous statement! LOL

November 1, 2009 5:47 AM