( continued from yesterday )
1. Nourish your mind, body, soul, and sexuality.
We all need to take care of ourselves, but especially when you’re stricken with the “blues”, it’s evemore critical to engage in regular self-soothing and promote your own personal growth.
Learn something new. Take a class. Visit a bookstore. Get a personal trainer and get on an exercise regimen. Eat nutritiously. Do something that affirms your gay identity. Meditate and practice relaxation techniques. Keep a journal. Pursue a hobby. Get lost in music. While this seems like common sense, it can be very easy to take these simple self-nurturing necessities for granted and neglect ourselves when we need them the most to rejuvenate at difficult times.
2. Plan ahead for love and for your future.
For optimal success, it’s important to develop a vision (a blueprint or vivid picture of what you want) for your future, for a life partner, and for a relationship.
This will give you a path to measure where you’re going and how you’re doing along the way. It’s important to identify your values, the things that would be most important for you in all those areas as this will define your mission. Then you can make conscious choices to make sure you’re living with integrity, a key component of living a life with healthy self-esteem.
3. Become available and ready for Mr. or Ms. Right!
This means making the most of being single by taking this time to resolve any unfinished business from the past to bring about closure, grieve any necessary losses, build confidence and a positive self-concept, and defeat negative thinking with more affirming, optimistic mindsets.
Embrace your singlehood and stop measuring your self-worth on your dating status; see this as a valuable time to get things in order so no baggage carries over when “The One” arrives in your life.
4. Develop a dating action plan and skills toolbox.
Make a list of your non-negotiable needs that you have for a partner and relationship.
What are things that you absolutely must have and absolutely cannot have in order to be in relationship with someone? This becomes your guidepost in screening dating prospects for potential compatibility and will help you save a lot of time and frustration along the way. Additionally, start building your repertoire of skills in communication, assertiveness, flirting, boundary-setting, screening, etc. to boost your sophistication and confidence in negotiating the dating jungle.
5. Get out of your head!
When you’ve got the “blues”, there’s a tendency to become self-absorbed with your negative thoughts.
Get out of your head and channel that energy into something more productive. Nothing works better than helping others. Volunteer for a worthy cause. Live your life to the max and do something that will give you more of a sense of meaning and passion. And take stock of all the strengths and positives that you have. You’re a good person! Share the gifts that you have and you’ll reap the benefits twofold!
So there you have it! This is just a starting point for the cure for the “summertime blues.”
The important thing is to start viewing your single status as an opportunity. Your life is what you make of it, as the old saying goes, and you have the power within yourself to make this the best summer of your life if you choose. You can convert the “summertime blues” into “summertime bliss!” You’ll be great!© 2008 Brian L. Rzepczynski
Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, contributing author to GAYTWOGETHER, is one of the leading love coaches for the gay community. As a licensed dating and relationship coach, Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, DHS, MSW has over 18 years experience as a psychotherapist and life coach specializing in helping GLBT individuals and couples develop and maintain successful and fulfilling intimate relationships. He holds a doctorate degree in human sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality and a master’s degree in clinical social work from Western Michigan University. He also runs a successful private therapy practice, Personal Victory Counseling, Inc. http://thegaylovecoach.com
THANKS to Brian and Michael at gaytwogether.com