Tuesday, May 29, 2012

TVT052812G2Gbw

Posted: 29 May 2012 06:20 AM PDT
ASI27f5b047c119392c05c6649cb3f031c31_full_resizeYou know how it is. You and your guy have been together for a long time now, way past “the honeymoon period” characteristic of the early stages of a relationship.You know each other inside and out and have worked hard to build a satisfying and comfortable lifestyle together as a committed couple. You’ve become settled into a familiar structure and routine in your lives.
Life is great! And it is! The love, companionship, and security that a partnership offers can be like no other and is one of the benefits of being in an intimate relationship. But beware…these same benefits can also put your partnership into jeopardy with subsequent boredom, feelings of being taken for granted, and eroticism decline in your relationship if you fail to consistently attend to the needs of your partner, yourself, and your relationship.

What follows are five simple tasks you can implement immediately to give your relationship that extra boost and to reinforce the importance and value you place on your partner and life together.

Don’t let your relationship get lost in the shuffle of all the other things going on around you! While this may seem like common sense, it’s amazing how complacent we can become and fall into unhealthy patterns of distraction that take energy away from the very center and haven of your life…your bond with your life partner. 

Action Steps for Successful Gay Couples
1. Greet Him with a Hollywood-Style Kiss

ASI104887_resizeSo many couples that come through my therapy and coaching offices complain that their partners barely acknowledge them when they’re getting ready to leave in the morning or when they arrive back home after a long day’s work
. Or worse yet, they only give them a “Grandma Kiss”, you know, the quick peck on the lips and then you’re out the door? Talk about feeling dismissed and minimized!

Make every greeting and departure from each other like it’s your last. Like those old Hollywood movies, give him a passionate kiss that leaves him reeling before leaving for the office. It doesn’t have to be melodramatic, but the point is to let your partner know how much he means to you and what better way to leave a lasting impression than to acknowledge the special place he holds in your life.

 2. Date Him All Over Again
One effective way of ensuring that other roles and obligations don’t get in the way of maintaining your romance in the long-term is to schedule a “Date Night” once weekly…or at a minimum every other week.One week you take the reins and plan a creative date that the two of you can to do together and then the next week your partner does the same. Alternating the planning puts both of you in the mindset of nourishing your relationship instead of just one person feeling burdened with doing everything.

And remember, it’s not what you do together…it’s the fact that you’re spending quality time together that matters. “Court” each other all over again and avoid getting hung up on the specific activities you pursue. It’s about being together and having fun.

3. Unleash Your Inner Studs
The old saying is true that “if you don’t use it, you’ll lose it.” Make sex and intimacy an integral part of your relationship to help keep the spark alive.

GAYTWOGETHER 011408pgtNever let things get to the point where “not tonight, honey” even gets started and also avoid getting into boring rituals and routines when it comes to your bedroom antics.

4. Keep Him on His Toes & Begging For More
 Nothing warms a partner’s heart and puts a big smile on his face than validating him through communication and physical actions. Acknowledge him when he does something positive. Share what you appreciate and are grateful for about him. Listen to him when he talks and show genuine interest in what’s going on in his life.

Do little things for him that you know he’d really appreciate without being asked. Surprise him with a meaningful and relevant gift that speaks to him. Making your partner feel good about himself and affirming how important he is to you will often create a reciprocal effect and you’ll both reap the rewards of such actions with a strengthened bond.

 5. Keep the Dream Alive
103107pgtAnother critical thing that can help to ensure that you stay in control of your lives as a couple is to periodically check-in with each other to make sure you’re on the right path of your relationship vision. What’s been going well? What challenges have you been facing? Are you on the path toward your previously discussed relationship goals? How can you troubleshoot obstacles that arise?

By having these occasional talks, the likelihood of your becoming more relationship-centered is promoted and you can stave off potential problems before they latch on. You, your partner, and your relationship will always be growing and changing and it’s important to stay on top of all these transitions so you can go through them together as a team.

Conclusion

You’ve made a huge investment in your relationship and it’s important to protect it against anything that might interfere with its priority in your life. By doing these simple tasks (well, sometimes they’re not all that simple!), you’ll be bringing more positive energy and attention to your partnership that will help sustain your “dynamic duo” status.

But let’s face it…these are just a small handful of things that can promote a successful and fulfilling gay relationship. So how about it? What other things work for you and your partner? Do share!
   
© Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach
The suggestions and feedback offered in this column are but one perspective of multiple approaches to dealing with problems or challenges. Information provided in articles and advice columns should not be used as a substitute for coaching or therapy when these services are needed. None of this information should be your only source when making important life decisions. This information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a particular problem, nor should it take the place of a consultation with a trained professional. It is your responsibility to consult a professional prior to making any life decisions.
Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, contributing author to GAYTWOGETHER, is one of the leading love coaches for the gay community. As a licensed dating and relationship coach, Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, DHS, MSW has over 18 years experience as a psychotherapist and life coach specializing in helping GLBT individuals and couples develop and maintain successful and fulfilling intimate relationships. He holds a doctorate degree in human sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality and a master’s degree in clinical social work from Western Michigan University. He also runs a successful private therapy practice, Personal Victory Counseling, Inc.http://thegaylovecoach.com


~~~ thanks to Brian and to Michael, gaytwogether.com







Monday, May 28, 2012

Some day. . . someone. . .



Thanks, Michael, gaytwogether.com

Saturday, May 26, 2012

The SALACIA

This is one of the 'ferries' which regularly makes the 90 minute trip from Boston to Provincetown and return.  I love the name of this vessel. .  .quite appropriate, I think, given the "reputation" of Provincetown. . . LOL




When the ocean is choppy, especially on the return trip, and a passenger or two is 'hung over', they have been known to need plain brown paper bags for the 'upchuck'. . .I've seen "green faced" guys hurrying off the boat. . lol
SLOW  GOING  TO  CAPE  COD. . . . .




David L. Ryan/Globe Staff
9 1 
ShareThis7By Colin A. Young, Globe Correspondent
If you are planning on driving to Cape Cod this evening, be ready for a slow journey. State Police said nearly all routes onto the Cape are backed up and likely won’t clear up soon.
“It’s slow,” said Trooper Ed Morgan of the Bourne barracks. “Route 25 is backed up seven miles.”
Route 25, which approaches the Bourne Bridge, is backed up to about Exit 2, according toboston.com’s traffic information service. Route 3, which approaches the Sagamore Bridge, is backed up about a mile past Route 6, the service reported.
Morgan said no major crashes had been reported, but a handful of minor crashes added to the congestion. He said he expected the traffic to continue “for the foreseeable future.”

Cape Cod is separated from the Massachusetts mainland by the Cape Cod Canal, man-made, of course.  Simply put, there are two bridges to cross onto The Cape.


If you travel route #3 from Boston south eventually you arrive at the 77 year old Sagamore Bridge which will carry you over the canal and dump you onto Route 6. . .which begins just south of San Francisco, CA, and takes you up to the point of Cape Cod where the Pilgrims first landed . . . . 


If you circumvent the Boston area by travelling #495 and then route 25, you will arrive on #6 which inches along to The Bourne Bridge.  Then you will connect with all the other cars which crossed the Sagamore and plod along this thin highway to Provincetown. . . .[Pack your survival gear and lots of water bottles. . . hehe. . .or the beverage of your choice:  you will want to be hydrated! ]


Another, an easier way to get to Mecca is to leave your car in Boston and take one of the catamarans for the 90 minute trip across Boston Harbor to Cape Cod Bay. . .  .
this magic ship literally skims on  the water.  Bring your bike and necessary gear.  You won't need  a car in Provincetown. . . .there are alternative methods of getting around. . . .be creative.  lol  And anything worth seeing or going to can be reached on foot.. . . or other creative methods. . .hehe




IT has begun, officially, tourist season is here. . .it is Summer On The Cape.  Give us all a treat: come on down!  LOL


Justin O'Shea
Chamber of Commerce Ltd.-+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Thursday, May 24, 2012


Posted: 24 May 2012 06:20 AM PDT
Cp100349-7922Continued From Yesterday )
Tips For Managing the Gawking Impulse In Your Relationship

*In the very beginning of your developing relationship, it's important that you both set clear boundaries from the offset about issues like monogamy and commitment and what that would look like and be experienced as. "Gawking", flirting, and becoming involved with others could also be discussed in casual conversation to ensure you're both "on the same page" and to lay the proper foundation. You could forgo this and bring it up in the event that a behavioral infraction actually occurs as a natural segue for a discussion, but to err on the side of caution by planning ahead to avoid hurt feelings and resentment is usually best.
/
Communicate your thoughts and feelings directly and assertively, as this is a way to teach your partner how you like to be treated. In the early stages of your relationship formation, every couple could benefit from creating personalized relationship ethics around all types of issues, not just "gawking", and continually revisit them throughout the course of time to determine if these values remain the same or if any revisions are required due to the fact that both individuals and the relationship itself can change.

*As a "gawker", try to understand your motives for this behavior. If it's a natural, spontaneous, harmless reaction, that's one thing. But sometimes partners will intentionally "gawk" for the purpose of inspiring jealousy in their mate or as an act of control. Is it a symptom of unmet needs or problems in the relationship? Are you bored? Do you do it to feel needed? Some men also do it because it's validating if the other man reciprocates the attraction or interest with a mutual "gawk" in return; this gives them an ego or a self-esteem boost. If this is the case, it's important to find healthier ways to obtain this validation within the context of your relationship and through your own personal growth work. Try to see what the purpose is behind your "gawking" tendencies to see if there's anything underlying it.

*The stage of relationship you and your partner are in is likely to be impacted by "gawking" behavior at various levels. For example, if you're just starting to date someone, staring at other guys while you're in his presence would be deemed disrespectful and rude. Or if you and your partner have gone through a crisis state in your relationship and trust is a little shaky, "sizing up" other guys would probably not be a good idea until more security is reestablished. Following common courtesy and good manners is always a good rule-of-thumb.

*Noticing other attractive men could potentially enhance your love-life with your partner by inspiring fantasy and increased desire. This is done in much the same way that pornography and erotic art is used to bring about more spice and excitement to one's bedroom antics. The only prerequisite with this, however, is that these should never be used as a substitute for intimacy with your partner, should only be used intermittently and in moderation, and that your relationship with your partner should always be the primary focus with no competition from outside sources.

Conclusion
Determining your values around "gawking behavior" in your relationship and communicating your needs and feelings about this to reach a mutual agreement will be important in minimizing any potential conflicts that could arise.

Boundaries are essential for keeping your relationship on track and respect for yourself, your partner, and your relationship must always be kept in the forefront of your mind to avoid acts of poor judgment that could sabotage what you and your partner have built together. And while you may not be able to resist sneaking a peek at that hottie at the laundromat or finding your heart skipping a beat when that handsome waiter approaches your table, never lose sight of the attraction and devotion you have for your partner.

An intimate and committed connection with your loved one holds much more value and power than a fleeting moment of hormonal desire for an unknown stranger. Get into the habit of "gawking" at your partner and just watch the benefits that you'll derive from this simple strategy.

Just remember to come up for air!

© Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach
The suggestions and feedback offered in this column are but one perspective of multiple approaches to dealing with problems or challenges. Information provided in articles and advice columns should not be used as a substitute for coaching or therapy when these services are needed. None of this information should be your only source when making important life decisions. This information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a particular problem, nor should it take the place of a consultation with a trained professional. It is your responsibility to consult a professional prior to making any life decisions.
Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, contributing author to GAYTWOGETHER, is one of the leading love coaches for the gay community. As a licensed dating and relationship coach, Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, DHS, MSW has over 18 years experience as a psychotherapist and life coach specializing in helping GLBT individuals and couples develop and maintain successful and fulfilling intimate relationships. He holds a doctorate degree in human sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality and a master’s degree in clinical social work from Western Michigan University. He also runs a successful private therapy practice, Personal Victory Counseling, Inc.http://thegaylovecoach.com
 

~~~~~thanks to Brian and to Michael@gaytwogether.com

Posted: 23 May 2012 06:20 AM PDT
Gay Relationships: Guy GawkingWhen I first came out to myself as a gay man many years ago, I was completely clueless about the gay lifestyle. Like any culture, I quickly came to learn that the gay community has its own norms and practices that differed to lesser or greater degrees than what I'd experienced in the mainstream heterosexual world that we all grow up in and internalize.

Living in the suburbs of Chicago where few resources existed for learning about and meeting other gay folk, I established a friendship base in the Windy City itself, which houses a fairly large gay metropolis. It was here that my virginal journey into gay society began. So na├»ve I was in learning all the social nuances involved in this new land I was venturing into!

I amusingly recall one day walking through the gay ghetto with one of my friends, just chatting away about this and that, when all of a sudden in mid-sentence, his neck spun around in a double-take (very similar to Linda Blair in "The Exorcist") when a striking man in a tank-top walked past us. I found myself a little startled and taken aback by his behavior, which seemed so overt and untamed by my conventional standards with his eyes bugged out and tongue wagging. As I quickly came to learn, this commonplace ritual is called "cruising", an important social skill that all single gay men quickly learn to develop to snag themselves a potential date or casual sex partner for the night.

My continued immersion into the gay brotherhood brought an interesting tidbit to light about gay socialization; that is, this whole "gay gawking" phenomenon of sizing up with the eyes of one's attraction to another is not exclusive to the singles' scene. It's not unusual for gay couples to partake in this activity, either together or separate from one another. And that is the topic for this article, spurred by an interview I gave for journalist Diane Maples who was writing a piece for MSNBC.com on the practice of "ogling" that occurs and its impact on monogamous relationships. The following includes some of the content I offered during the interview for her story....

Got Whiplash?
You know what I'm talking about! You see that hot guy coming towards you as you're walking down the sidewalk. Your eyes connect briefly, hold slightly, and then the gaze is diverted. He walks past you and you turn around ever so slightly to see if he looks back. And he does..bingo! Or maybe you and a friend are sitting at a restaurant having dinner and you find yourself mesmerized by the hunk at the table just opposite you; you can't help staring at him in awe until your friend kicks you under the table to snap you out of it before the restaurant runs out of napkins to soak up your drool.

Having the eyes pulled in the direction of a good-looking or intriguing person is a natural part of attraction and all its mysteries. "Gawking" isn't isolated only to gay men; it's also very rampant among our heterosexual counterparts as well. You see plenty of our straight gal pals smacking their boyfriends in disgust when their eyes wander to the exotic woman that walks into the room. It's a normal human response, though does tend to be more of a "man thing" (gay or straight), as we men tend to be more visually stimulated in our erotic orientation.

So this is all well and good if you're single and available, but what happens if you're already in a relationship with someone and you become gripped with this magnetic draw? Is it ok for a gay man in a committed partnership to appreciate the beauty of a good-looking man who's not his own lover? Are there varying degrees of "gawking" that are acceptable versus violations? Or is it completely taboo to even look at another specimen other than your husband? These are the ultimate questions...and in actuality, there is no necessarily right or wrong answer.

What it comes down to are values and conducting yourself in such a way that you remain in integrity with yourself and your relationship for what you believe to be the best option for you. To say what is right or wrong would be a value judgment, imposing one's beliefs on another without permission or consent. We have enough of that in our society! I believe it is up to each individual and each partner in a relationship to define their own values about this particular issue and behave accordingly to stay within the confines of health within their personal worlds.

It is also important to ensure our behavior doesn't violate the boundaries or rights of others; therefore, "gawking" behavior should also be kept under wraps and controlled so as not to embarrass, humiliate, or offend the receiver of our attentions. It truly is an issue of respect.

Gawking & the Gay Couple
While "to gawk or not to gawk" remains a personal dilemma and choice, I will offer some viewpoints about this phenomenon as it pertains to gay couples in committed relationships. These are personal and professional biases; it is always up to each partner to make their own decisions regarding the role this type of behavior plays in their relationship.

Though I'm generalizing here, I believe that "gawking" is probably less of an issue in gay relationships than straight unions for a number of reasons. Due to the male tendency toward the visual, there may be more acceptance and understanding among gay men to disregard the occasional "straying-of-the-eye" and not view it as a threat to the stability and commitment of their relationships.

Because of our marginalized status, gay relationships also tend to have a less defined structure and more flexibility of roles than the straight blueprint for how relationships are "supposed to be run", thereby making things looser and more relaxed. Additionally, an unfortunate drawback of gay culture is that looks and appearance are glamorized and emphasized as a prime value, therefore there tends to be more focus on what somebody looks like and this reinforces "gawking" tendencies. Just some theories!

Another important point to emphasize about "gawking" and committed relationships is that we're human! Therefore, noticing and acknowledging someone's good looks is a normal function of being alive...we're hard-wired that way and it's a chemical reaction. Also, just because a partner finds someone else attractive doesn't mean that he will or even create a temptation to cheat. Issues of respect and boundaries will need to be defined in each relationship around attraction, behavioral conduct, and involvements with others and is specific and unique to each couple's situation.
( Continued Tomorrow: Tips For Managing the Gawking Impulse In Your Relationship )

© Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach
The suggestions and feedback offered in this column are but one perspective of multiple approaches to dealing with problems or challenges. Information provided in articles and advice columns should not be used as a substitute for coaching or therapy when these services are needed. None of this information should be your only source when making important life decisions. This information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a particular problem, nor should it take the place of a consultation with a trained professional. It is your responsibility to consult a professional prior to making any life decisions.
Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, contributing author to GAYTWOGETHER, is one of the leading love coaches for the gay community. As a licensed dating and relationship coach, Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, DHS, MSW has over 18 years experience as a psychotherapist and life coach specializing in helping GLBT individuals and couples develop and maintain successful and fulfilling intimate relationships. He holds a doctorate degree in human sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality and a master’s degree in clinical social work from Western Michigan University. He also runs a successful private therapy practice, Personal Victory Counseling, Inc.http://thegaylovecoach.com

Some news which makes me smile. . . . .



Justin,
 
Maybe Life will be better.
 
Joe Galant
Air Force Academy Graduates First Openly Gay Cadets
 
Air Force Academy Graduates First …
(SPRINGS, Colo. - Eight months after a repeal of the military's "don't ask , don't tell" policy, the U.S. Air Force Academy today graduated its first group of openly gay cadets.
As President Obama addressed the graduates, no rainbow flags could be seen on display. The LGBT students couldn't be picked out of the crowd of white and blue.
But gay and lesbian advocates, academy alums, school officials and current students said they were therImage credit: Jewel Samad/AFP/Getty Images)
COLORADO e.
"The whole thing is we don't want to be identified as anything different," said Trish Heller, who heads the Blue Alliance, an association of LGBT Air Force Academy alumni. "We want to serve, to be professional and to be symbols of what it means to be Air Force Academy graduates."
Heller said her group had connected with at least four members of the class of 2012 receiving diplomas today who had come out publicly as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender. There were likely others, but they preferred to keep a low-profile, she said.
Conversations with dozens of current academy students and some new graduates presented a picture of a smooth transition from the military's ban on openly gay service members serving to the repeal of that ban. There have been no major incidents of overt discrimination or harassment since the policy was repealed in September.
But many signaled the change in policy would continue to hold a tender and personal meaning for those cadets who were weighing the decision to come out of the closet.
"It's just been really open, a lot of acceptance. I haven't heard anyone say, 'I hate this. I can't serve in the military with this,'" said 3rd Class Cadet Kevin Wise, a second-year management major. "It's a sense of 'OK, this is their lifestyle, but they're still the person I've spent 21 credit hours a semester next to or I've gone through this with,'" he said.
Wise said he knew several classmates who chose to come out in the past few months. "Honestly, for me, it was, 'Oh well, I kind of had a suspicion since I've known you for two years now, but you just move on," he said.
"There wasn't any sort of repercussion against them or anything," said 2nd Lt. Jenny Kavalstan of her gay classmates who graduated with her today. "I thought of them the same way I did before; most people do."
Acacia Miller, a sophomore from Shreveport, La., praised the school's leadership for setting the right tone before the repeal. "They did a good job preparing us. There were lots of briefings about it. They stated how the military was going to go forward with it, how we should act. It was pretty much just like any other repeal, segregation, all that stuff. We just got told this is what's going to happen and we all need to be adults about it," she said.
Gay cadets at all the U.S. military service academies have been forming clubs and support groups, slowly making their existence known online and at campus social events. The Air Force Academy group - called Spectrum - was officially sanctioned earlier this month and had about 30 members from across all classes, the organizers said.
The Air Force Academy's administration has also allowed the Blue Alliance to have a more high-profile role on campus. The group flew rainbow flags during a tailgate party before a home football game in November, Heller said, and hosted a dinner attended by the dean of faculty, Gen. Dana Born. In February, the group participated in a campus leadership symposium, she said.
"Things have gone very smoothly at the academies since repeal," said Sue Fulton, a 1980 West Point graduate and spokeswoman for the LGBT military advocacy group OutServe.
The "don't ask, don't tell" policy was approved by President Clinton in 1993 as a compromise toward ending a long-standing ban on allowing homosexuals to serve in the military. Gay service members could enlist but had to keep quiet about their sexual orientation. Advocates said it essentially forced them to live a lie.
Congress passed a law in 2010 formally ordering repeal of the policy. After a period of preparation and training for lifting the ban, the Pentagon gave the green light for final certification in September 2011.
"Basically, it was just another day when DADT was repealed," said Air Force Academy spokesman John Van Winkle. "No big changes, no real growing pains. Most of American society has become much more accepting of the LGBT community over the years since President Clinton made the forward-thinking choice in the early '90s to go from a strict no-gay policy to DADT."
Advocates said they never believed the repeal would prove problematic on campus, given that younger generations of students were generally more accepting of homosexuality, and the military's commitment to following the rules set by leaders.
"In dealing with cadets every day," Heller said, "the bigger issue going forward is what every kid goes through in coming out at that age - dealing with your family, coming to terms with yourself, what does it mean to me personally - that is the real focus and challenge."

Monday, May 21, 2012

Rutgers Spying Defendant Sentenced to 30-Day Jail Term


Zena Barakat/The New York Times
Dharun Ravi arriving for his sentencing on Monday.



NEW BRUNSWICK, N.J. — A judge here sentenced Dharun Ravi to 30 days in jail Monday for using a webcam to spy on his Rutgers University roommate having sex with a man, in a case that galvanized concern about suicide among gay teenagers but also prompted debate about the use of laws against hate crimes.

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The case drew wide attention because his roommate, Tyler Clementi, jumped to his death from the George Washington Bridge in September 2010, a few days after learning of the spying. A jury convicted Mr. Ravi in March of all 15 counts against him, which included invasion of privacy and bias intimidation. The relatively light sentence — he faced up to 10 years in prison — surprised many who were watching the hearing, as it came after the judge spent several minutes criticizing Mr. Ravi’s behavior.
“You lied to your roommate who placed his trust in you without any conditions, and you violated it,” said the judge, Glenn Berman of State Superior Court. “I haven’t heard you apologize once.”
In addition to jail, Judge Berman sentenced Mr. Ravi to three years’ probation, 300 hours of community service, counseling about cyberbullying and alternate lifestyles and a $10,000 probation fee, to be used to help victims of bias crimes
.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

German Cardinal Calls for EQUALITY !



Get a load of THIS !   tsk. . .tsk. . .tsk. . . .

Cardinal Calls for Equality of Heterosexual and Homosexual Relationships

by newwaysministryblog
Cardinal Rainer Maria Woelki
So far I've only seen one news report in English about this item, but there are several in German that are floating around the web.  It is too good not to report, even though the information is rather sparse.
Berlin's Cardinal Rainer Maria Woelki told a major Catholic conference in Germany that relationships of same-gender couples should be treated equally with heterosexual couples. An article in The Localan English news source in Germany reports:
"He told a crowd on Thursday that the church should view long-term, faithful homosexual relationships as they do heterosexual ones.
" 'When two homosexuals take responsibility for one another, if they deal with each other in a faithful and long-term way, then you have to see it in the same way as heterosexual relationships,' Woelki told an astonished crowd, according to a story in the Tagesspiegel newspaper.
"Woekli acknowledged that the church saw the relationship between a man and a woman as the basis for creation, but added that it was time to think further about the church's attitude toward same sex relationships."
Speaking at the 98th Katholikentag (Catholic), a conference of 60,000 Catholics in Mannheim, Woelki joins a growing chorus of episcopal voices who are calling for change in the hierarchy's traditionally absolutist refusal to acknowledge the moral goodness of lesbian and gay relationships.
Last December, London's Archbishop Vincent Nichols made headlines by supporting civil partnerships for lesbian and gay couples in the U.K.  That same month, Fr. Frank Brennan, a Jesuit legal scholar in Australia, also called for similar recognition of same-sex relationships.   In January, Bishop Paolo Urso of Ragusa, Italy, also called for recognition of civil partnerships in his country.
March of 2012 saw an explosion of questioning from prelates of the hierarchy's ban on marriage equality. At New Ways Ministry's Seventh National Symposium,Bishop Geoffrey Robinson of Australia called for a total re-examination of Catholic sexual ethics to allow for, among other things, moral approval of same-sex relationships.  The Diocese of Manchester, New Hampshire, supported a bill that would legalize civil unions (albeit as a stopgap measure to prevent marriage equality).  Bishop Richard Malone of Portland, Maine, announced that the diocese would not take an active role in opposing the state's upcoming referendum on marriage equality, as it had in 2009. In Italy, Cardinal Carlo Maria Martini of Milan stated in his book, Credere e Cognoscere (Faith and Understanding), that "I do not agree with the positions of those in the Church who takes issue with civil unions."  You can read excerpts, in Italian,  from the book here. An English translation of a different set of excerpts, thanks to the Queering the Church blog, can be found here.
While opposition to marriage equality from the hierarchy, especially in the United States, is still massive and strong, it is significant that these recent statements are all developing a similar theme of at least some recognition of the intrinsic value of lesbian and gay relationships, as well as the need for civil protection of them.  May this trend continue and grow.
--Francis DeBernardo, New Ways Ministry

Friday, May 18, 2012



~~~from gaytwogether.com

Monumental development in Psychiatry. . .


Leading Psychiatrist Apologizes for Study Supporting Gay ‘Cure’

PRINCETON, N.J. — The simple fact was that he had done something wrong, and at the end of a long and revolutionary career it didn’t matter how often he’d been right, how powerful he once was, or what it would mean for his legacy.
Alex di Suvero for The New York Times
Dr. Robert L. Spitzer

Readers’ Comments

Dr. Robert L. Spitzer, considered by some to be the father of modernpsychiatry, who turns 80 next week, lay awake at 4 o’clock on a recent morning knowing he had to do the one thing that comes least naturally to him.
He pushed himself up and staggered into the dark. His desk seemed impossibly far away; Dr. Spitzer suffers from Parkinson’s disease and has trouble walking, sitting, even holding his head upright.
The word he sometimes uses to describe these limitations — pathetic — is the same one that for decades he wielded like an ax to strike down dumb ideas, empty theorizing, and junk studies.
Now here he was at his computer, ready to recant a study he had done himself, a poorly conceived 2003 investigation that supported the use of so-called reparative therapy to “cure” homosexuality for people strongly motivated to change.
continue reading. . . .