Friday, January 23, 2015

AWESOME - - - - -Richard sent this to me. . . . .en joy !

Tuesday, January 6, 2015


Dear, dear Radical Joe. . .  you go to the root of things crying out in the cold "JUSTIN, where are you?. . . Talk to ME. . . .Talk to us. . ."

Well, dear Rad, I am here. . . right here, right now. . . I am doing what I am learning to DO. . . . .I LIVE!  Yes, I LIVE, one moment at a time. . .that is what I have to give you, to share with you. . . the NOW-ness of who and how I am. . .  .And in the learning the doctors tell me I am healing. . . I am becoming more healthy. . . .

Guys say to me "O'Shea, what do you do???!!!"  I can now reply. . .calmly, peaceably, gently:  MAN I LIVE !  As I go thru my daily routine I take the meds prescribed for me. . . .and these are restoring my inner man. . . the inner balance. . . .that precious harmony which is the Spirit of God living and working within us. . .more pointedly, the Spirit of the Living God alive and active in me. . . .WoW. . .it is marvelous when I think about it.
I have one group of Psych 1 students with whom I meet three mornings a week. . . and we talk. . . yeah, talk. . . .really talk.  Plus I am available at the on Campus Clinic for those seeking "more talk", more sharing at various times in the day to those seeking more private chat. 

Dear RAD, that is what I do, where I am.  We are all united in that love in which we live and move and have our being. . .

I am living alone, totally united with you all in our different and separate ways. . . .living and loving.. . .growing.  In a way I guess I am like a "junior monk". . . . .learning how to live truly seeking God, as St Benedict asks of the beginner "Does he truly seek God. . Is he zealous for the Work of God. . .?"

That's what I am doing, Dear Rad. . . . .How about you?

. . .with my love and prayer, trying as best I can. . .all the days of my life. . ."

your brother JustinO. . . .in the Urban Dunes 


Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Hey GUYS. . . how y'all doin'. . . .I be getting better. . .slowly, day by day. . .and I am learning to TRUST more and more. One Word I hang onto esp when I am scared is this: "Fear i useless. . .what is needed is trust.". . Hang in there. . JUSTIN. . .;-)

Posted: 24 Nov 2014 05:30 AM PST
The Very Thought Of Him - GAYTWOGETHER.COM - click to enlarge(click to enlarge)
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Posted: 24 Nov 2014 05:25 AM PST
ASI3500f9624f68009a58d563078b8dbdda0_fullDating can be like a roller coaster ride sometimes with its fun highs and frustrating lows. Ever wonder why some guys have more luck with the dating game than others? Ever contemplate what it takes to become more successful with men? Well, that’s a tricky business and there’s no scientific formula that will yield those positive results. I believe dating is partly luck and LOTS of preparation.
Part One of this article will count-down the first 5 out of 10 characteristics that are common to the profile of a successful gay dater.  (Part Two - Tomorrow)
The list goes on beyond this as well, but these qualities can provide a starting point for you to assess your possible strengths and weaknesses as a single gay man on the prowl for your Mr. Right and to develop goals for self-improvement that will maximize your efforts out on the dating scene.
Profile Of A Successful Gay Dater:
10. He lives a life that he loves with a clear vision of his future and is armed with self-knowledge and awareness.
It’s critical that you avoid defining your whole life around dating and finding a boyfriend.This is just one aspect of your life and you don’t want to neglect and avoid the other parts of your identity. Know who you are, what you want, and where you’re going in your life.
Develop a crisp, clear vision of how you want to be and the type of life you’d like to lead and succinctly define your personal values, passions, and life purpose and live according to them. Look and feel your best! And remember, “The Law of Attraction” states that like attracts like; what you put out there and show the world has the tendency to attract the same back to you---and that goes for dating too!
9. He knows his personal requirements and refuses to tolerate anything less.
The best defense that you can have in the midst of all those men to choose from is to know what your non-negotiable needs are; things you absolutely must have or absolutely cannot have in a relationship for you to be with that particular guy. This will help you weed through the potentials and the Mr. Wrongs. And don’t sway from your requirements, no matter how hot he is! You’ll be saving yourself a lot of grief in the long run.
8. He has a solid knowledge of what constitutes a healthy relationship.
Be aware of the ingredients of a healthy partnership. This can help you detect any red flags in your dating relationship that might be “deal-breakers” or areas that the two of you could work on together. Such qualities include each person having a strong sense of self with solid boundaries, open communication, flexibility, commitment, ability to have fun, capable of non-defensive conflict negotiation, having emotional connection and intimacy, affection, sexual compatibility, etc.
7. He has a strong support system, access to resources, and is comfortable being alone.
It’s important when your single to have a good friendship network going (they can be great match-makers sometimes) and have a circle of people in your life who support you and care about you. Additionally, become knowledgeable about the resources that exist in your community for LGBT individuals as additional components you can add to your network. And learn creative ways for coping with loneliness by utilizing this alone time for self-reflection, relaxation, and movement toward your personal goals and vision.
6. He has overcome a lot of the male socialization barriers that can interfere with relationship quality of life.
“Men are tough. Men don’t cry. Men don’t show emotions.”You know, all those mumbo jumbo messages all of us men, gay and straight, had to internalize growing up. These scripts that are supposed to define manhood limit our ability to live freely. As a result, many gay relationships tend to be highlighted by competition, status, power/control struggles, and lack of effective communication skills and expression of feelings.
Put two men together in a dating situation with the same socialization scripts, and these are relationship killers! Define for yourself what being a man means, develop comfort with your masculinity and gender, and don’t be held back by these prejudicial sanctions.
( Part Two Tomorrow )Love and pride Fashion
© Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach
The suggestions and feedback offered in this column are but one perspective of multiple approaches to dealing with problems or challenges. Information provided in articles and advice columns should not be used as a substitute for coaching or therapy when these services are needed. None of this information should be your only source when making important life decisions. This information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a particular problem, nor should it take the place of a consultation with a trained professional. It is your responsibility to consult a professional prior to making any life decisions.
Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, contributing author to GAYTWOGETHER, is one of the leading love coaches for the gay community. As a licensed dating and relationship coach, Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, DHS, MSW has over 18 years experience as a psychotherapist and life coach specializing in helping GLBT individuals and couples develop and maintain successful and fulfilling intimate relationships. He holds a doctorate degree in human sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality and a master’s degree in clinical social work from Western Michigan University. He also runs a successful private therapy practice, Personal Victory Counseling, Inc.

Monday, October 6, 2014

A Message from Gary. . .09/24.14T

This thoughtful email arrived from Gary right during the "recent mess" that was happening.  Gary's kindness and thoughtfulness touched me in 'deep places' and I've wanted to share this with you all.  Seems to me, he has something to share with each one of us.

As often is quipped, wisdom does and can come with "the Gift of Aging" and hopefully we can all learn from your shared experiences. Please remember Gary in your thoughts and prayers these days.  I learned from "out of somewhere" that he is going thru some more of his "own life experiences" with added "unsought life experiences".

Gary's email. . . .

G'day JustinO,
Remember that little kid who rode his trike around the veranda? He's long gone now, left behind as JustinO grew older. So is the JustinO of a few years ago who started the Dunes. The older, more mature JustinO is a different person these days, with different priorities and interests. That's the way life works. Nothing stays the same.
Mind you, it's a little different for us older blokes. We tend to remain the same for longer. And when change does occur, which it inevitably does, it's less frequent and apparent.
So if you're feeling a little guilty about losing interest in the Dunes, or simply have too many other things on your plate to spare the time, don't. Moving on is part of life.


Sunday, October 5, 2014


Some very provoking and soul-full comments by the Pope to his Brother Bishops. . . .

Saturday, October 4, 2014

Opening talk at "Vatican Family Synod"

James Allison, catholic priest, theologian, multi-faceted scholar, usually has a bon mot for an occasion; this is no exception.

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Dear Fellow Pilgrims. . . . . As you see I have been quite absent from The Dunes and  internet in general.  Not because of caring or interest: you know I LOVE you all dearly !

But, as the old Yanks have a wont to say things:  "I've had the rug pulled from under me". . . Yepper.  Whoooooosssshhhhh!  G O N E !

Since mid-May and Finals. . .which we all passed with Flying Colors!!!  ho ho ho. . . .but I was pushing with all my might. . . to keep my head "out of water". from "going under".

Somewhere between mid-May to mid-July they tell me I have suffered a SILENT HEART ATTACK. . . .and I never knew. . .why? when? how come? ETC.  By mid-July I was suffering mightily with retaining fluids, swollen legs from water retention, etc. . . .Imagine!  Me????  What the hell is going on.
Congestive heart failure was what was going on. . . .I finally found out when I awoke one morning around 4 am with difficulty breathing.  Of course I was alone. . . . Peter was working that night.  I sat and argued withmyself  "Shoild I dial 911?"
Finally the good and prudent and wise part left of me dialed the 911 and the Gent who answered at 4:30. . . "Hold on, bro. . .we'll be right there.  "  And almost before I knew it, THEY were there. . .those wonderfully trained volu.  .nteers had me on oxygen, with an IV drip, and EKG going on. . .and off we raced in The Dawn to the ER. . . .and those wonderful people too knew what to do and soon had me "doing the regular routine" with EKGs, videos, etc. etc. . .and just lay there in total awe ...... this was happening to me!!!

No angels were visible, no harps or bells. . .just quiet gentle peace and the real sense of love. . .being loved was surrounding me . . . .the healing was beginning!

Stabilzed in numbers they began to assess  What had happened. . . ? Well they did a heart catherization. . . .damage to the heart, , ,one blocked place. . .plus some colateral damage to a kidney from the dyes, etc.  Decision to treat this pharmceutically. . . seems to be the vehicle of most good, less damage and trauma. . . .etc.

I am "house bound" with in-house nursing care, and varied and assorted spoiling and pampering. . . .thinking of you all. . . with great affection AND LOVE !!!

    Justin of the Dunes