Monday, October 31, 2011

GAYTWOGETHER-tvt 012309 Research shows that gay men don’t like their bodies very much. That might seem surprising, given the amount of time many of us spend at the gym. We probably devote more time and effort to cultivating our physical selves than any other demographic group. Just the same, research indicates that straight men like their bodies most, followed by gay women; straight women like their bodies less than these first two. The group that likes their physical appearance the least is gay men. 

Why is this? Gay men spend a lot of time in places that place a premium on physical appearance: bars, gyms, sex clubs. We live in a sexualized subculture that places a premium on physical beauty, and media and advertising bombard us with images that reflect an impossibly high standard of physical beauty. Under circumstances like these, it’s easy to confuse who you are with how you look.

We all like to see attractive men, of course. Still, more and more men – even men with bodies that most of us would agree are muscular and very attractive – find themselves very dissatisfied with how they look. At it’s most extreme, this situation is called body dysmorphia – a preoccupation with some imagined defect in appearance when the person involved is actually very normal looking. This problem can lead to depression and trouble forming healthy relationships.

Research indicates that eating disorders and body image problems are linked with public self-consciousness, social anxiety and feeling dishonest about who one really is. Men with internalized homophobia who have difficulty accepting themselves as gay are probably especially likely to develop a distorted body image or eating disorder.

Compared with women, who generally only worry that they are too fat, many gay men worry that they are either too fat or too thin. This misperception can become a genuine distortion disorder that could be called "reverse anorexia" or "bulkorexia." Even when dramatically muscular, men with this misperception feel they are too small or thin.

It's easy to see how men who have grown up with images of limp-wristed, reed-thin gay men form this sort of reaction and seek to show that they don't fit the stereotype. Preoccupation with muscles becomes a way of relieving fears about our masculinity.

Places where gay men socialize especially bars, gyms, and sex clubs, often emphasize physical attributes or make those the first criterion for checking someone out. It's difficult for someone who is older than a certain age or different from the prevailing cultural standards of beauty to catch someone's eye in a bar or club.

This has the sad and unintended consequence of leaving some gay men in the social binds most familiar to teenage girls – obsessed about their appearance and feeling like their locus of control lies completely outside of themselves.

If you have trouble accepting your body, there are steps you can take to improve the situation. First, take the concern seriously. Don't confuse who you are with how you look. Develop a sense of identity based on all of your attributes and on your values.

Put your body back together. Consider stretching, yoga and massage as ways to help yourself feel like more than just "skinny legs" or "love handles." Indulge in body pleasures – long baths, massage, good sex, a walk in the park on a sunny day. Make your own list
Learn to appreciate body types in all shapes and sizes. Stop trashing men who don't conform to the "buffed" image. Seek alternative role models. Don't emphasize body size or shape as an indication of a man's worth or his identity as a man. Learn to value the person inside.

And finally, confront homophobia, including internalized homophobia. Don't accept being treated as a second-class citizen by straight society or by other gay folks.

John R. Ballew, M.S. author & contributor to GAYTWOGETHER, is a licensed professional counselor in private practice in Atlanta. He specializes in issues related to coming out, sexuality, relationships and spirituality. If you have any questions or comments you can submit them directly to GAYTWOGETHER or John R. Ballew, M.S. - or at (404) 874-8536.

Health Benefits of Sex

WebMD: Better information. Better health.
October 31, 2011
Other search tools:Symptoms|Doctors|Medical Dictionary

Health & Sex

Font size:
Share this:

10 Surprising Health Benefits of Sex

The health benefits of sex extend well beyond the bedroom. Turns out sex is good for you in ways you may never have imagined.
By Kathleen Doheny
WebMD Feature
Reviewed by Marina Katz, MD
When you're in the mood, it's a sure bet that the last thing on your mind is boosting your immune system or maintaining a healthy weight. Yet good sex offers those health benefits and more.
That's a surprise to many people, says Joy Davidson, PhD, a New York psychologist and sex therapist. "Of course, sex is everywhere in the media," she says. "But the idea that we are vital, sexual creatures is still looked at in some cases with disgust or in other cases a bit of embarrassment. So to really take a look at how our sexuality adds to our life and enhances our life and our health, both physical and psychological, is eye-opening for many people."
Sex does a body good in a number of ways, according to Davidson and other experts. The benefits aren't just anecdotal or hearsay -- each of these 10 health benefits of sex is backed by scientific scrutiny.
Among the benefits of healthy loving in a relationship:
1. Sex Relieves Stress
A big health benefit of sex is lower blood pressure and overall stress reduction, according to researchers from Scotland who reported their findings in the journal Biological Psychology. They studied 24 women and 22 men who kept records of their sexual activity. Then the researchers subjected them to stressful situations -- such as speaking in public and doing verbal arithmetic -- and noted their blood pressure response to stress.
Those who had intercourse had better responses to stress than those who engaged in other sexual behaviors or abstained.
Another study published in the same journal found that frequent intercourse was associated with lower diastolic blood pressure in cohabiting participants. Yet other research found a link between partner hugs and lower blood pressure in women.

2. Sex Boosts Immunity
Good sexual health may mean better physical health. Having sex once or twice a week has been linked with higher levels of an antibody called immunoglobulin A or IgA, which can protect you from getting colds and other infections. Scientists at Wilkes University in Wilkes-Barre, Pa., took samples of saliva, which contain IgA, from 112 college students who reported the frequency of sex they had.
Those in the "frequent" group -- once or twice a week -- had higher levels of IgA than those in the other three groups -- who reported being abstinent, having sex less than once a week, or having it very often, three or more times weekly.
3. Sex Burns Calories
Thirty minutes of sex burns 85 calories or more. It may not sound like much, but it adds up: 42 half-hour sessions will burn 3,570 calories, more than enough to lose a pound. Doubling up, you could drop that pound in 21 hour-long sessions.
"Sex is a great mode of exercise," says Patti Britton, PhD, a Los Angeles sexologist and president of the American Association of Sexuality Educators and Therapists. It takes work, from both a physical and psychological perspective, to do it well, she says.

sex & relationships newsletter

Sign up today for WebMD's Sex & Relationships newsletter and get trusted information that will help keep your relationships healthy and balanced.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Human Rights for Gays. . . ..Imagine that!!!

UK PM on human rights for gays

Sunday, October 30, 2011 8:41 PM
G'day JustinO,
David Cameron has threatened to withhold UK aid from governments that do not reform legislation banning homosexuality.
The UK prime minister said he raised the issue with some of the states involved at the Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting in Perth, Australia.

Snow smacks Northeast; power could be out for days

STATE COLLEGE, Pa. (AP) — A snowstorm with a ferocity more familiar in February than October socked the Northeast over the weekend, knocking out power to 2.3 million, snarling air and highway travel and dumping more than 2 feet of snow in a few spots as it slowly moved north out of New England. Officials warned it could be days before many see electricity restored.
The combination of heavy, wet snow, leaf-laden trees and frigid, gusting winds brought down limbs and power lines. At least three deaths were blamed on the weather, and states of emergency were declared in New Jersey, Connecticut, Massachusetts and parts of New York.
"If you are without power, you should expect to be without power for a prolonged period of time," Connecticut Gov. Dannel P. Malloy said Saturday night.
The storm worsened as it moved north, and communities in western Massachusetts were among the hardest hit. Snowfall totals topped 27 inches in Plainfield, and nearby Windsor had gotten 26 inches by early Sunday.
"It's a little startling. I mean, it's only October," said Craig Brodur, who was playing keno with a friend at Northampton Convenience in western Massachusetts.
Along the coast and in such cities as Boston, relatively warm water temperatures helped keep snowfall totals much lower. Washington received a trace of snow, tying a 1925 record for the date. New York City's Central Park set a record for both the date and the month of October with 1.3 inches of snow.
Some inland towns got more than a foot of snow. West Milford, N.J., about 45 miles northwest of New York City, saw 19 inches by early Sunday.
New Jersey's largest electric and gas utility, PSE&G, warned customers to prepare for "potentially lengthy outages" and advised power might not be fully restored until Wednesday. More than 600,000 lost electricity in the state, including Gov. Chris Christie.
The storm came on a busy weekend for many, with trick-or-treaters going door-to-door in search of Halloween booty, hunting season opening in some states and a full slate of college and pro football scheduled.
More than 22 inches fell in New Hampshire's capital of Concord, weeks ahead of the usual first measurable snowfall.
Elsewhere in northern New England, the unofficial arrival of winter was a boon for some. Two Vermont ski resorts, Killington and Mount Snow, started the ski season early by opening one trail each over the weekend, and Maine's Sunday River ski resort also opened for the weekend.
The severity of the storm caught many by surprise.
"This is absolutely a lot more snow than I expected to see today. I can't believe it's not even Halloween and it's snowing already," Carole Shepherd of Washington Township, N.J., said after shoveling her driveway.
Residents were urged to avoid travel altogether. Speed limits were reduced on bridges between New Jersey and Pennsylvania. A few roads closed because of accidents and downed trees and power lines, and more were expected, said Sean Brown, a spokesman for the Pennsylvania Department of Transportation.
Two of the airports serving New York City, Newark Liberty and Kennedy, had hours-long delays Saturday, as did Philadelphia's airport. Amtrak suspended service between Philadelphia and Harrisburg, Pa., and commuter trains in Connecticut and New York were delayed or suspended because of downed trees and signal problems.
Philadelphia saw mostly rain, but the snow that did fall coated downtown roofs in white.
In southeastern Pennsylvania, an 84-year-old man was killed when a snow-laden tree fell on his home while he was napping in his recliner. In Connecticut, the governor said one person died in a Colchester traffic accident that he blamed on slippery conditions.
And a 20-year-old man in Springfield, Mass., stopped when he saw police and firefighters examining downed wires and stepped in the wrong place and was electrocuted, Capt. William Collins said.
Parts of New York saw a mix of snow, rain and slush that made for sheer misery at the Occupy Wall Street encampment in New York City, where drenched protesters hunkered down in tents and under tarps as the plaza filled with rainwater and melted snow.
Technically, tents are banned in the park, but protesters say authorities have been looking the other way, even despite a crackdown on generators that were keeping them warm.
Nick Lemmin, 25, of Brooklyn, was spending his first night at the encampment. He was one of a handful of protesters still at the park early Sunday.
"I had to come out and support," he said. "The underlying importance of this is such that you have to weather the cold."
Adash Daniel, 24, is a protester who had been at the park for three weeks. He had a sleeping bag and cot that he was going to set up, but changed his mind.
"I'm not much good to this movement if I'm shivering," he said as he left the park.
October snowfall is rare in New York, and Saturday marked just the fourth October day with measurable snowfall in Central Park since record-keeping began 135 years ago, the National Weather Service said.
Associated Press writers Ron Todt in Philadelphia; David B. Caruso and Colleen Long in New York; Jay Lindsay in Boston; Eric Tucker in Washington; Bruce Shipkowski in Trenton, N.J.; and Clarke Canfield in Portland, Maine, contributed to this report.


MOTHER  of 15 yo gay student is pushing for more than a 3-day
suspension of the bully.

Take a quick browse of the comments from other students.  I am amazed by the low-level of verbal communication.   Or do I expect too much from 15/16 year-old students?

Care to leave your comments?  Would be helpful.  I want to use this for a class presentation.  And and all assist would be really appreciated.   Thanks.


Saturday, October 29, 2011

Winter Hits the North East. . . .

Hey Justin. . . .

LOOK at what you are missing this morning in Vermont. . . . ."fresh from Killington" !    OCT 29, 2011. . . . .;-)

How soon can I book out of here for Tampa. . .. ?   I have enough "miles" for a one-way ticket. . . .
Way too early for this.   It has been raw and cold the last few days. . . .wind goes right thru ya !  ;-((
2"-4" for us in the Champlain Valley tonight. . . . . .yeeeccchhh!  And I cannot find my snow brush or ice scraper. . . .
see ya soon. . . . Dave

Friday, October 28, 2011

Barbara Johnson

Friday, October 28, 2011 5:13 PM
G'day JustinO,
Have you heard of the Barbara Johnson Foundation?

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Posted: 26 Oct 2011 12:12 AM PDT
A groundbreaking new report reveals that nearly two million children have become collateral damage after decades of ideology, laws and policies designed to marginalize lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) Americans.
The report takes a detailed look at how children with LGBT parents are failed by society, government, and the law.
“Many Americans don’t realize how anti-gay laws and policies hurt children,” said Jeff Krehely, director of the LGBT Communications and Research Program at the Center for American Progress.
“For example, the Supreme Court of North Carolina just invalidated all second- parent adoptions, undermining family security and leaving children as legal strangers to the LGBT parents who have raised them since birth.

Similarly, when states like Minnesota and North Carolina advance ballot initiatives to deny marriage to same-sex couples, it can have serious consequences, such as denying children access to a parent’s health insurance.”

Current laws can:
Deny children legal ties to both of their parents—which affects everything from custody to a parent being able to make emergency medical decisions for his or her child.
Wrongly separate children from their parents in cases of divorce or death of a parent.
Tie children’s access to critical federal and state safety net programs to family structure, rather than need.
Deny children access to quality child care and early childhood education.
Deny children Social Security survivor benefits or inheritance when a parent dies.
Put a child’s legal ties to his or her parents in jeopardy if the family crosses state lines.
Deny forever homes to 115,000 children awaiting adoption.
The report estimates that about two million children are being raised by LGBT parents, and that children of same-sex couples live in 96 percent of U.S. counties.

Other findings include:

Same-sex couples living in the South are most likely to be raising children (Mississippi has the largest percentage of same-sex couples raising children).
LGBT families are twice as likely to be living in poverty as married, opposite-sex parents with children.
LGBT families are more racially and ethnically diverse than the population as a whole.
Decades of social science research show that children of gay and lesbian parents grow up to be as healthy, happy and well-adjusted as their peers. All major child health and welfare organizations support parenting and adoption by gay and lesbian parents.
“Fewer than a quarter of all US households are made up of married heterosexual couples raising their biological children, yet public policy is consistently failing those children whose families do not fit into this certain mold,” Chrisler said, in a statement.

To learn more about these families and how you can help tackle the challenges they face, click this link: All Children Matter Report to read the report and spread the word. 

Monday, October 24, 2011

Iceberg. . . . .

Ever see an iceberg  from top to bottom?
This is  awesome! 

This came  from a Rig Manager For Global Marine  Drilling In St. Johns ,   Newfoundland ... They actually have to  divert the path Of these things away  from the rig By towing them with  ships!  
Anyway, in this  particular case The water was calm  and
The sun was almost directly  overhead
So that the diver was able to get  into the water And click this  picture.
 They estimated  
 the weight at  300,000,000 tons.

  Pretty Cool!! Pass it  on  THE TITANIC  DIDN'T HAVE A CHANCE!!!! 



Thursday, October 20, 2011

Sorry to be late. . . . ;-)

I am wearing a bright purple t-shirt. . . .purple has more red than blue in the mix. "Lavender" has more bluish in the mix.

My cosmetological vocabulary is lacking in the subtle variations and details of color. Like. . .did you know 'poppy' red is much brighter than 'cranberry' red. . .? 'lime' green is quieter than lemon green which really borders on yellow.. ? ;) And seasonal pumpkin orange is duller than navel orange?

Procul Harum seemed to know there was "a whiter shade of pale".  An old old song. . this UK group.

There is an O'Shea family legend which my dad and his brothers often enough have told over the years on certain State Occasions.  It seems that the organist at his granddad's parish church was a very clever lad who was oft-given to spontaneity. .  .ehyah. . .t'was so. so they say.
Often enough he'd surprise the folk awake enough to catch on with an inprovisation of a current popular tune.

One day while Father was walking up and down the aisle sprinkling the congregation with holy water. . .to  the semi-disguised song "Raindrops keep falling on my head. . . ." to the delight of thems what's awake enough to discern. . . .. LOL

Now back to my great-granddad. . . .a dapper gent was he, says dad and his bros.  Well one day Granddad Teddy up n' died.  Much loved in the town there was a grand turn-out for the funeral.  And grand it was.  The organist was at his finest. . . .As they were wheeling Old Teddy down the aisle  the clever lad up in the choir loft was improvising at his best. . . .only a few of "the bene addicti" were able to discern the original to today's funeral procession. . . 

Indeed, t'was Procul Harum's song  "A whiter shade of pale. . . . ."
hahhaaaaaa. . .[ Google the song for the lyrics]  "Hooteningly appropriate" says Dad, "for so he was."

Well now. . . not the end. . yet.  When Father heard the interpreted version of the Recessional he made the mistake of sending the clever lad packing.  So,  he just packed up his music and went away. . . The following Sunday he was tickling the organ keys and the congregation at the United Church of Christ  whose pastor recognized real talent when he heard it. . . . .and the legend carried on.

Great-grandson JustinO 

Did YOU know about this??? Sorry to be late. . . .;-(

Posted: 19 Oct 2011 02:21 AM PDT


What is Spirit Day?

Millions of Americans wear purple on Spirit Day as a sign of support for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) youth and to speak out against bullying. Spirit Day was started in 2010 by teenager Brittany McMillan as a response to the young people who had taken their own lives. Observed annually on October 20, individuals, schools, organizations, corporations, media professionals and celebrities wear purple, which symbolizes spirit on the rainbow flag. Getting involved is easy -- participants are asked to simply "go purple" on October 20 as we work to create a world in which LGBT teens are celebrated and accepted for who they are. Learn more & go purple at

When will it end ?


I just read on a blog of a gay suicide that happened last

James Hubley, the son of Kanata South city councillor Allan Hubley,
died by suicide Friday, Oct. 14, 2011. He was 15 years old and openly
gay at his school in Ottawa, Canada.

I did not know if you had read about it.  So Sad so Young.  May he
Rest in Peace,
and the Hands of the Lord.  When do we stop crying and say 'Son' you deserved a
good long life, in the body and soul you were in."

     Joe Galant