Well, All Y'ALL, good morning. . . .It's quite cool this morning. . .but it will warm up a bit so that my last hours in The Dunes will "burn" into my flesh n soul. We're enjoying a wee bit of schedule change in the family. . . .not often !!! hahaha. . .We all went to Mass yesterday afternoon at 4:30 and at the church in Chatham, for another change. Usually we trudge in to Provincetown for Mass at "the Mother Church" St. Peter's. Doing the. Eucharist is "comfortable" for us cuz it is "what we usually do".
However, MoTHER's de riguere Family Brunch is always a nice family affair, even when Peter and I are the only "extras" around. . .. usually though Mom and Dad invite an occasional special 'friends and sorta-family' to join us. That does add a bit of spice and colour. . .sometimes. ;-) This is Mom's thing. . .and she prepares and bakes for this. . . has every thing ready before we leave for Mass, so when we come home it is just pulling everything together, plugging in the various appliances and awaaaay we gooooooooooo. . ..I mean MOM choreographs . ..LOL
Brunch doesn't happen much before noon and it is the meal of the day. The rest is pick up. And Dad's college buddy Fr Jon will be arriving in time to join us, plus some friends from 'long ago days gone by'. Peter will be joining us too. . .since the DaSilvas make a big deal of supper. . .EVERYbody is there. . the whole rambling famiglia. . .I am tempted to stay for supper with them and then leave mid-day tomorrow. . .George Birthington's Washday. .. . now Presidents' Day, extending the long weekend break.
I was just thinking how much and how well Peter is part of everything when here. . .like for The Brunch. When there are people who haven't met Peter before Dad will introduce this way . . ."and these are our boys Justin and Peter" and lets it go just like that. "We are family. . . my hunky boyfriend and me. . . we are family". . .that easy-to-adapt old song from .
A couple of other comments on what we were sharing about earlier. . . . .
I chose relationship because that is what we ARE talking about. . .Sex acts are a part of the expression of love and desire, etc etc. . To have any real meaning -- aside from fun fun fun --- the sex flows from what/we we are together. . ..what we two [ the boyfriend and me] become when we are together and as we grow in our union.
I talk about sexual activity in the context of a relationship. . . .without which we are using one another. . . like a toy, a thing, something which only has any meaning to the degree it pleasures me. [is that yucky enough to make my point? ;-) ]
"A relationship is only as good as its communication". If Mr Hunky doesn't accept you sexually, there is no communication of persons, there is no relationship. It's like asking a passerby who winks "How much for a BJ?"
Ten bucks? Cool. . .here...take it. .. unzip. . ."Assume the position. . ."
"Aaaahhhhh YESSSSSSSSSS" shoot shoot shoot. . .and zip up and leave.
GROSS ! See all that is missing/lacking/non-existent? I know you do!
What is having a boy-friend all about. . .? NOT about sex. . . .or is it? I think it is all about getting to know one another, sharing, revealing more and more about ourselves to one another. .. . until quite naturally comes The Big Reveal. . . . .we are in love, we stand in love, facing each other, standing together side-by-side facing the world as a couple. . . . . think thru the imagery. . ..brief, to the point.
And, you know, I think I prefer thinking /calling / proclaiming "Peter is my boy-friend. . . " That encompasses a great deal. . . and far less complicated than explaining/defining partner, spouse, husband (which I do not like at all. . for us.) As two gay young men why must I define ourselves as something we are not, using terms we are not. . .we are not heterosexual: Why, then, must I try to fit into their world on their terms?
So there. . . .how does this settle?
p.s. Have you seen the TV show Harry's Law? Written by , who wrote and produced Boston Legal. . . . this marvelous, I think, funny, real, earthy, touching. . . , I think it is, and so far, a repeat .