Sunday, February 20, 2011

Roaming in The Dunes

Well, All Y'ALL, good morning. . . .It's quite cool this morning. . .but it will warm up a bit so that my last hours in The Dunes will "burn" into my flesh n soul.  We're enjoying a wee bit of schedule change in the family. . . .not often !!!  hahaha. . .We all went to Mass yesterday afternoon at 4:30 and at the church in Chatham, for another change.  Usually we trudge in to Provincetown for Mass at "the Mother Church" St. Peter's.  Doing the 10 a.m. Eucharist is "comfortable" for us cuz it is "what we usually do".

However, MoTHER's de riguere Family Brunch is always a nice family affair, even when Peter and I are the only "extras" around. . .. usually though Mom and Dad invite an occasional special 'friends and sorta-family' to join us.  That does add a bit of spice and colour. . .sometimes.  ;-)  This is Mom's thing. . .and she prepares and bakes for this. . . has every thing ready before we leave for Mass, so when we come home it is just pulling everything together, plugging in the various appliances and awaaaay we gooooooooooo. . ..I mean MOM choreographs .  ..LOL

Brunch doesn't happen much before noon and it is the meal of the day.  The rest is pick up.  And Dad's college buddy Fr Jon will be arriving in time to join us, plus some friends from 'long ago days gone by'.  Peter will be joining us too. . .since the DaSilvas make a big deal of Sunday night supper. . .EVERYbody is there. . the whole rambling famiglia. . .I am tempted to stay for supper with them and then leave mid-day tomorrow. . .George Birthington's Washday. .. . now Presidents' Day, extending the long weekend break.

I was just thinking how much and how well Peter is part of everything when here. . .like for The Brunch.  When there are people who haven't met Peter before Dad will introduce this way . . ."and these are our boys Justin and Peter" and lets it go just like that.  "We are family. . . my hunky boyfriend and me. . . we are family". . .that easy-to-adapt old song from La Cage aux Folles.

~~~~~~~~~~~
A couple of other comments on what we were sharing about earlier. . . . .

I chose relationship because that is what we ARE talking about. . .Sex acts are a part of the expression of love and desire, etc etc. . To have any real meaning -- aside from fun fun fun --- the sex flows from what/we we are together. . ..what we two [ the boyfriend and me]  become when we are together and as we grow in our union.

I talk about sexual activity in the context of a relationship. . . .without which we are using one another. . . like a toy, a thing, something which only has any meaning to the degree it pleasures me.   [is that yucky enough to make my point?  ;-) ]


"A relationship is only as good as its communication".  If Mr Hunky doesn't accept you sexually, there is no communication of persons, there is no relationship.  It's like asking a passerby who winks "How much for a BJ?"
Ten bucks?  Cool. . .here...take it. .. unzip. . ."Assume the position. . ."
"Aaaahhhhh YESSSSSSSSSS"  shoot shoot shoot. . .and zip up and leave.

GROSS !  See all that is missing/lacking/non-existent?  I know you do!

What is having a boy-friend all about. . .?  NOT about sex. . . .or is it?  I think it is all about getting to know one another, sharing, revealing more and more about ourselves to one another. .. . until quite naturally comes The Big Reveal. . . . .we are in love, we stand in love, facing each other, standing together side-by-side facing the world as a couple. . . . . think thru the imagery. . ..brief, to the point.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And, you know, I think I prefer thinking /calling / proclaiming  "Peter is my boy-friend. .  . "  That encompasses a great deal. . . and far less complicated than explaining/defining partner, spouse, husband (which I do not like at all. . for us.)  As two gay young men why must I define ourselves as something we are not, using terms we are not. . .we are not heterosexual: Why, then, must I try to fit into their world on their terms?

So there. . . .how does this settle?

oxoxox
  justin

p.s.  Have you seen the TV show
Harry's Law?  Written by David Kelly, who wrote and produced Boston Legal. . . . this marvelous, I think, funny, real, earthy, touching. . . Monday nights, I think it is, and so far, a repeat on Sat evenings.

14 comments:

Jim said...

Peter isn't your husband.....yet. So this doesn't fit. It's like you are dating at this point until and if you both ever live together and 'set up house'! As you get comfortable 'fitting in' to the hetero world and learning the ins and outs to survive it, you will come to realizations that work for you.
Sounds like all you guys do is EAT!!! Gotta love it!

jimm said...

"Why, then, must I try to fit into their world on their terms?"

An age-old question, but i think it shows that the suppression from being gay/different is gnawing at you.

At one point your post talks about traditions (family, church, brunch), but later it is about 'their world' and 'their terms.'

Are you seeking a balance between the two worlds, theirs and yours?

Speaking for myself, i have a hard time believing that anyone else has even visited 'my world.'

Btw, I like how you have a close family, with nice traditions.

RADICALJOE said...

Justin,
Your Blogs today are filled with
so much Love. I mean your Love
of Family, you show so much of
your great self in all respects.
This is why I can't get enough of
your Blog. And then there is Peter,
how could you not Love him. Hope
you both enjoy everything you
two deserve.

JustinO'Shea said...

Ahaaaa. . .the wisdom of experience and endurance. ;-) Thanks, JIM, makes a lot of sense.

Yepper, a great deal of culturalization goes along with eating. . . hehe. . and we DO do a few others things besides eating . . . at the table. . . . ,. ;-))

JustinO'Shea said...

JOE the RAD. . .THANK you so much for your support and kindness. I appreciate what you write very much.
hugs

justin

JustinO'Shea said...

JIMM-BO. . .I have to think about your post. . .You usually make me think. . ;-)

later, bro. . .

Anonymous said...

Loved it.
Love your take on life.
Not a lot else to say except don't ever stop living life like you do,with so much enthusiasm and love.

And I've said it before, I just hope and trust that Peter always appreciates what he has in you.

Love from me to all,
GreginAdelaide

J said...

You have a boyfriend, and your life is on an upward trajectory. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that picture.

Coop said...

I tell my (Irish) mother... jokingly of course... that without being exposed to the Boston Italian culture, I would have starved to death. LOL Potatoes with every meal. Gawwd. There was a famine, wasn't there?
Mom once suggested to one of these Italian friends that she can buy sauce in a Jar! THE HORROR.

Justin, how can you eat like that and stay svelte.

Coop said...

I have been asked 'What's so wrong about hooking up with someone just for sex?'

JustinO'Shea said...

COOPsta. . . I didn't eat the WHOLE THING!!!~
Small portions. . .quit before I am FULL UP ! Leave a tad of an edge. . .

justin

JustinO'Shea said...

Was i talking about RIGHT vs WRONG?
Get out of the "morality grind. . ."

I am/was talking about relationship. . between/with two guys. . .so we aim for the best. Who ius dumb enough to invest the time and energy with what might be doomed to be a dud from the beginning. "AIM for the best. . ." then see how you handle it.

Having fun is a great thing. . .Being in a relationship is a great thing and far more worthwhile than just having fun. .
doncha think?

justin

Gary Kelly said...

You know that expression you can't put an old head on young soldiers? That's why I don't comment on this blog's relationship issues. Basically what I'm saying is a stitch in time saves two in the bush. I've had my share of relationships over the years and now I think they're all a sandwich short of a picnic. So these days I bring my own sandwiches.

Sex is all about Pavlov's dog. It's about doing silly tricks for a reward. It's about donkeys and carrots.

So, let me just say that a leopard cannot change its stripes, and a nod is as good as a wink to a blind horse.

And if all that doesn't make any sense, it doesn't matter. That's one of the great consolatons about being my age. A rolling stone is a joy forever.

:-P

JustinO'Shea said...

Clever, Mr Kelly, clever indeed. ;-)