Friday, February 4, 2011

A Lamentation

Fri, February 4, 2011 10:59:58 AM
Common Sense Obituary
...


To:jstn_oshea@yahoo.com


>
> An Obituary printed in the London Times - Interesting and
> sadly true;
>
> Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common
> Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for
> sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago
> lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as
> having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
> - Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
> - Why the early bird gets the worm;
> - Life isn't always fair;
> - and Maybe it was my fault.
>
> Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies
> (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies
> (adults, not children, are in charge).
>
> His health began to deteriorate rapidly when
> well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in
> place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual
> harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from
> school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired
> for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his
> condition.
>
> Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for
> doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in
> disciplining their unruly children.
>
> It declined even further when schools were required to get
> parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a
> student; but could not inform parents when a student became
> pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
>
> Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became
> businesses; and criminals received better treatment than
> their victims.
>
> Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend
> yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar
> could sue you for assault.
>
> Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a
> woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was
> hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly
> awarded a huge settlement.
>
> Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth
> and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter,
> Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.
>
> He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
> I Know My Rights
> I Want It Now
> Someone Else Is To Blame
> I'm A Victim
>
> Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he
> was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not,
> join the majority and do nothing.
>
> --

5 comments:

Stew said...

Other than the undertaker and myself, there was only 5 people at his funeral. We all took seperate cars to the cemetery to make the procession look longer.

Gary Kelly said...

I'm not sure Common Sense ever existed in the first place. Even if it did, it sure wasn't common.

JustinO'Shea said...

Really???
Why, I read the obit in the London Times.
duuuuh. . .

JustinO

JCinmeforever said...

'Common Sense' Something parents don't really teach a lot these days!

Hummmmm! JCinmeforever

J said...

Hate to say it, but there sure were a lot of lawyers throwing dirt on the coffin.