Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Gay ? Whatever, Duude. . . . .

In class these past two days (grad school division) we have been gnawing over ideas and feelings  about "How do I feel about myself as a gay man" (a tad difficult for the one str8 guy in our work group. Btw, he is there by choice; not assigned. ;-) ) when I read articles such as this one, and others like it?  Are my feelings influenced by these reports?  What does/might it do for the gay group in general, and, perhaps me, individually?  How much might I be affected by media commentaries?  In my socializing do such polls, opinions perhaps make me feel freer, more or less comfortable?  And similar.

I invite you to add your own ideas, thoughts, feelings about these.
Thanks..     JustinO

OPINION   | June 05, 2010
Op-Ed Columnist:  Gay? Whatever, Dude
An exploration of why, for the first time, more men than women are perceiving gay couples as morally acceptable.  


Gary Kelly said...

If I wrote down a list of labels that could be attributed to me, it would be as long as my arm.

Who wants to bother with all that baloney?

Coop said...

I sure will add my own thoughts.
When's the due date? ;-)

JustinO'Shea said...

a s a p ;-)

Coop said...

I don't think this answers any of Justin's questions ... :(
But here we go.

The seperation of being Gay from the sexual act really jumped out at me. The bullsh*t from homophobic groups is all about "Sodomy"; which is one of the vilest words ever imho, or procreation. It is important for people to understand that gay men's relationships, like heterosexual relationships are more than sex. These reports must mean that skeptical people are interacting with gay people and finding them to be pretty normal.

I sometimes listen to Howie Carr, a conservative shock jock here in Boston. Howie is constantly carping about how gay marriage should be an issue for the voters. One of his callers was held up in traffic for the Miami Pride parade. The caller said something about fat men in sailor hats and speedos whacking each other on the ass. I cringed when I heard it. That caller was using a perverted scene to deny rights both to myself and to other people that I know.

Why did I put this anecdote here? Well, the caller was obviously focused on the sexual side; which he found repulsive. The article that Justin posted also re-started something I think about now and again.
From what I've heard, LOL men and women keep things like what happened in the parade in private. Or behind three Xs.
I don't believe that keeping my sexual choices private equals suppressing my sexuality. Some of the things that happen in "Pride" festivals in front of cameras equal a LACK of pride, but that's just me. These findings could show that straight men are beginning to see gay men as People with private desires, just like them.

As far as Swaggart and Rekers go, I don't think that changes anything. Those two aren't the first ones to get caught. Do any of these guys accept their homosexual feelings? No. They have sinned, turned away from God's will, with prayer they will be cured. Ya ya ya. Spare me.
I will also point out that the other man is a rent boy or a prostitute. He's never a real boyfriend. That perpetuates the "SEX" part of homosexuality. Jim Swilley came out but was quick to point out that he never acted on his impulses.

JCinmeforever said...

Three things come to mind for, through my experience with being more open about my sexuality with straight men the phobia is not outwardly promoted from them, most likely cause I don't portray effeminate mannerisms. (not to offend any fem guys out there...cause I accept someone either way). A straight mans phobia can set in real fast otherwise. I tend to think that in presenting myself masculine, it causes a greater comfort to interact with me. Secondly, when I share the same desires of Love and Intimacy in a partner as they do toward the opposite sex, many understand the equality of the desire for Love and Intimacy, (not necessarily male to male intimacy, just the desire for intimacy). Even if some that I work with don't understand they do respect the diversity. After all, it's my job performance, not who I love that counts. Then when you throw in that I'm a Christian...Woe! ...look out, cause they might look at you like you have three heads! So, one must be ready to share where you are on both fronts. Smiles, JCinmeforever

Coop said...


I'd say that I also present myself as as a "masculine" and I think there is something to that.
Men are supposed to act and look a certain way. Anything that deviates causes questions.

Think about the beer commercials on TV that poke fun of carry-alls, certain cuts of jeans, and bronzer.

I don't like beer anyway... so whatEVER... :p

Coop said...

I knew that if I let this simmer for long enough something would gel together.
These reports make me feel less lonely in a personal sense, but in an associative sense. I feel validated... that's a good way to put it.

I called myself "a straight guy who likes other guys" on the Dunes no less for a reason. That best describes how I feel. There's no fabulous Gay boy clawing around inside me waiting to emerge. Trust me, I've checked.

Usually the only people I come out as "Gay" to are other gay people. We understand all the nuances. I was worried that people would get the wrong ideas about me and the person that I am.

The article pointed out that words like "homosexual" and "Gay" are confining. They have baggage.