Stew I agree 117% ! lol More than sex to be being gay.
When I am out of the town in downtown Provincetown", as it were. . .on occasion I have watched someone(s) behaviour in their almost frenetic frenzy -- hahaa, can't you just imagine him in "f.f." -- on the prowl trying hard to "connect" with some one, any one. . .hoping to score for the night. The energy involved!
I hope this doesn't sound snootty or hypercritical. . .On occasion on a weekend night I've perched across the street from SpiritusPizza, after the bars and club let out and their customers gravitate toward the gathering of men to watch. . .the HUNT is on.
Mentally I call this "Last Chance at the OK Corral". . .and with my clinical glasses perched in place I watch the energetic dynamics of hooking up. . . .
At times too I've observed with empathy a seemingly shy guy, sorta cautiously moving around. . .without much gusto or enthusiasm looking. trying to engage. . .and it often seems like he is invisible, not a 'target' or prey. . .definitely not the center of any small clique.
This strikes me as terribly sad and lonely. . .looking essentially for love, as Stew well writes, and thinking 'sex' is 'the way' to find some sort of. . .any kind of human intimacy. . .
He wasn't especially striking in looks, but he wasn't a troll either. . .I thought "Oh what the heck. . .this kid is alone. . " and being "Alone in Provincetown" on a Friday night could be just awful. . .esp when you feel no body cares. .so I edged over to where he stood, just hanging around, looking. . .and gradually said "HI. . " and we talked,at first just the usual chitchat and it got easier. . .He had come over from Boston on the "express ferry" for the weekend looking for some fun. . .a quiet kid, my age, a lonely kid, student. . not from Boston. . a "tourist. . visiting Mecca" as we laughed our way into more comfortable chatter.
"Hey, Duude, ya hungry? [I was into my 'hey, duuuude' period] I'm starved. .wanna get some pizza?" Out the back door of Spiritus is a bit quieter outside garden of sorts where you can sit and eat, see and be seen, and talk without yelling. And that's what we did. When the chatter began drifting, by design me thinks, LOL, to dating, single?, being in love, and then the S-word. . S E X ! So, simply, I said "Benji, I'm not looking for a one-nighter pick-up. . in fact I am not looking for anything more than some good conversation, hanging out a bit. . ." etc. etc. He seemed almost relieved, like the backpack wasn't heavy anymore. . .ya know?
I walked him to where he was staying. . . we set a time to meet for the beach . . .later in the day. . ..well, it was now clockwise early in the morning. . . and we did. I stopped at the sign at Herring Cove Beach. . .the PET notice sign where some wag changed the P to H which now read "HETS must be kept on leach at all times." LOL
Well, Benji had to see all the local color. hehe
And after the beach we went to TeaDance at BoatSlip. . . .then to his place to clean up. . . and only that! hahahaaa. Then we had supper at Clem and Ursie's over on ShankPainter Road. (They were still open then. . .and served those killer-good sweet potato fries. . . .yuummm )
That was my "Pick-Up in Provincetown" on a Friday night which lasted all day Saturday and late into early Sunday morning. Now I don't want you getting the idea that I am the local Faerie GodMother who rescues visiting QueerBoyz from the Trolls on the Prowl. hahaa We even took a drive thru the Enchanted Forest. LOL It was all fun. WE both enjoyed it, he wasn't alone crying in his Sierra Mist, we were both too young for beer. . . .and I did "something nice for a lonely guy." . .and for myself too. . . and guess what! we were two gay guys and it didn't involve or lead up to Continental Breakfast. . (a roll in bed with honey). . .HoHoHo