Wednesday, August 24, 2011

First Impression

Posted: 23 Aug 2011 10:55 AM PDT
 Whether you’re single and looking for “The One” or are trying to break into a social group or land a new job with a potential employer, you may only have one opportunity to peak someone’s interest and curiosity in who you are and what you might bring to the table.

It’s commonly said that people form a first impression of someone within minutes, and sometimes even seconds, of meeting him. Unlike those in your support system who know you intimately, new people only have limited knowledge about who you are and will form a judgment or an image about you by what they see and observe in their brief encounter with you.

This hardcore reality can make or break an interaction, so you want to make sure you put your best foot forward to increase your chances of success in whatever outcome you’re seeking to accomplish in that particular social exchange.

This article will offer some tips on how to make the most of your initial contacts with potential dating prospects so you can leave a favorable impression of yourself in their minds.This intrigue will compel them to want to learn more and then you’ll be well on your way toward landing that first date to gauge if there is any compatibility for some form of relationship moving forward.

Trying to “get your foot in the door” with someone can sometimes feel anxiety-provoking and laden with pressure, especially if you tend to be shy or find yourself in a situation that’s foreign or out of sorts for you. But by applying some of these suggestions and being yourself, you just might find yourself in the position to make your relationship goals come to fruition.


1. It’s All About Him!

This is probably the most important rule that the socially savvy gay dater must always follow if he wants to leave a lasting positive impression in the minds of any guy he’s interested in getting to know better. To snag the attentions of a guy, it’s always important to make him feel like the star. While reciprocation is important, the lead-in contact should be about meeting his needs first. Take the initial emphasis off yourself and instead show lots of curiosity and interest about him. Capitalize on commonalities and try to make him feel good about his strengths you observe.
Avoid comments about physical appearance unless your intent is more about sexual cruising because this can be off-putting and may seem insincere and superficial. If the other guy is equally as savvy, he’ll mirror back the same style and the dialog will likely deepen.

2. Body Language is Key

Your words are only one part of the equation. Your non-verbal communication is probably more attuned to by your conversational partner than what you say and can have more power and believability to his interpretations of your credibility and character.
Make sure to smile, lean in when speaking to show interest, maintain good eye contact, watch your voice tone and rate of speech, and be as relaxed as possible to show a smooth composure. And make sure your body language and verbal speech are congruent and match.

3. Watch Your Communication Style

It’s important to have a balanced dialog with the guy you’re speaking with. Try to match each other’s style and avoid monopolizing the conversation or being a non-participant.
There should be a nice back-and-forth rhythm between the two of you and learn to become adept at reading social cues that indicate his interest or a lack thereof so that boundaries can be respected.

4. Be Yourself!

Even though you want to make a good impression, remember that this isn’t a performance. It’s essential to be the “real you”.  Be authentic, fun, and interesting and use an appropriate amount of self-disclosure. People can spot an impostor a mile away.
Being fake is deceitful and starts relationships off on a dishonest foot. It also tends to attract the type of men who probably aren’t compatible with your relational partner vision anyway and wastes precious time and energy.

Part 2 - Tomorrow

©2009 Brian Rzepczynski

Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, contributing author to GAYTWOGETHER, is one of the leading love coaches for the gay community. As a licensed dating and relationship coach, Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, DHS, MSW has over 18 years experience as a psychotherapist and life coach specializing in helping GLBT individuals and couples develop and maintain successful and fulfilling intimate relationships. He holds a doctorate degree in human sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality and a master’s degree in clinical social work from Western Michigan University. He also runs a successful private therapy practice, Personal Victory Counseling, Inc.
thanks BRIAN and


GreginAdelaide said...

Now, let me tell you, that guy really made a VERY good first impression upon me....and how!

JustinO'Shea said...

COOL. . .Then, Greg, I am glad I added this photo to the article. . .he caught your attention ~! ;-)

GreginAdelaide said...


Coop said...

The vest doesn't work without a collared shirt.
Oh yeah... the article. So I don't have to worry about the bad leg?

JustinO'Shea said...

Sez who? Coopsta. . . that is so up-tight Bostonese. . .. sheeessshhhh . LOL
Mixing with the Cabots and the Lodges.? . .LOL

Maybe a diff colored shirt wouldn't quite be the same, but all the same color - even no collar, lol - works just fine for me. ;-))

GreginAdelaide said...

What vest? What shirt?
I didn't notice them, he made the impression, not his clothes

JustinO'Shea said...


Coop said...

Why IS HE wearing a shirt and a vest? {-:

JustinO'Shea said...

Because he wants to.

GreginAdelaide said...

Well Coop, looks like we got to wait till part 2...ha!