Friday, September 23, 2011

Justin is Jumping Up n Down. . .MAD. . .in place

PHOTO: Jamey Rodemeyer, 14, was found dead outside his home of an apparent suicide.


GreginAdelaide said...

Yes, this comment, urging of yours Justin did deserve a posting of it's own, not just a comment to your own last post as it originally was (I think)

Yes, and I want to do something. But I'm still trying to figure out from my own insular existence can I do it....without getting too far out of my comfort zone.....and there's the problem, that's what probably stops most of us, trying to figure out how to do something without making major changes to our (comfortable) lives.

I want to do something, I'm trying to figure out how to get the opportunity, how to make it....I'm still

jimm said...

What can we do?

I think we can start just by walking thru our own neighborhoods.

How many ppl drive home from work, hit the remote for the garage door opener, then close it, never to be seen again?

How many times have I walked pass someone, and they don't even look me in the eye? Nor greet me?

Look at me!!! Say something!!! Helloooo!!!

It really does take a village to raise a child.

Gary Kelly said...

It's like learning First Aid, Greg. It's not something you use every day, but something that comes in handy when the need arises. The fact that you're willing and able to help is a pretty good start. Be prepared, as the boy scouts say.

J said...

As a psyc grad student you, Justin, know that suicide attempts are grandstand appeals for help. It is incredible how many signals this boy gave everyone, in how many fora. Everyone out there failed him. How this happened must assuredly be the great question, and its answer a great indictment of how we live in this country in this benighted era.
A former undercover drug investigator I know once told me that he was always something of an outsider in high school. He was a 6'5" redneck, built like a linebacker, very cold-eyed and extremely dangerous when antagonized. He told me that he always hated to see some kid who wasn't doing anything wrong get picked on by other students, so whenever he saw this happen he'd corner the offender and have a little talk with him. He said the guys he pulled aside always got the message. Oh, if only Jamey had one such protector.

Coop said...

Jumping up and down?? I'm being bold here... :(
Justino people in authority can pass all the laws they want.
That won't change the minds of the haters. Why rely on the people in authority?

Blunt Coops: There is no excuse for the bullying that drove this poor kid to kill himself. I'm sorry... I can't understand the violent retaliation that Justin is talking about. That isn't part of life here. I live near him. I can't understand homophobia either.
I'm frustrated by this stuff.

Of course if I knew a kid who was going through this stuff i'd do everything I could to try and help him. What else is there?
And what if I can't help him?

Jim said...

This is a great post Justin! I didn't tolerate it in school when I saw it and would report it to the administration immediately......and I would do a follow up to make sure they did something about it. It takes teachers to confront bullying head on and not sluff it off.
You know what though? I ( along with 7 other teachers) were bullied by an entire administration at a high school to leave. One thing they did was give me the 'duty' of the smoke pit.....for 3 years. There are other examples....lots.
So you see it's not just kids who can be is systemic in our 'system', much like racism is.

JustinO'Shea said...

Hmm. . .says MUCH about the administration, doesn't it. It would seem your reporting such bullying was received as a personal accusation and they retaliated in kind.

Given the number of faculties who report uncooperative administrations it would seem this is too present. No wonder the bullying continues: the bullies are in charge and try to ignore the problem. . .which only 'enables' problem people.

Lovely "proctoring" assignment. At least you didn't get the lavatories!!!

JustinO'Shea said...

Excellent point J adds: Jamey shouting for help all over the place and it seems all the "helpers" missed the real message: HELP ME!

The comments "he seemed happier and stonger". . .I could read into this a lot. . .but it talks about our society: "It I do not see it, talk about it. . it doesn't exist. . it will go away!"

And it doesn't. . .

JustinO'Shea said...


Do we say anything in hearing distance of "That's so gay!" or "You're sooo gay". . . Do we accept the answer "But that doesn't mean anything. . .ya know. . .like.. ."

Do we let "FAG!" go. . . ?

What do these do to gay people?

Alastair said...

Coop's right. No number of laws will make any difference without a fundamental change in attitudes. The US is a long way behind most of Europe on this front, I'm afraid to say. You're far too in thrall to religious nutters.

As I said in answer to your previous post, Justin, as long as people like Bishops, ministers, Presidential Candidates, Popes, etc. are making speeches full of hatred, that fundamental change isn't going to happen.

We can each do our own bit, but we don't have the reach of the big public figures. No, Justin, I wouldn't let comments of "fag", "gay", "poof" or the like go - I would say something, for whatever good it does. It's easy enough for me, now, at my age and in my position. I wouldn't have done it when I was a teenager and I might not do it if I were in a job like a teacher.

Jim said...

Answer: Yes. We could 'address' this on the spot and say something like ....I don't like the inference you are making.....that being gay is something to be ashamed of.
One could substitute the word 'gay' with anything of which our culture has a difficult time 'fitting into' the 'norm' 'fat', 'ethnic', 'old',....anything that is outside the collective group.

JustinO'Shea said...

Yes,Alastair,I agree with you and Coops on 'making all sorts of laws' etc.
But when there are laws in existence. .as to back up a HateCrime legislation, you have something to support your complaint. . . so when someone leaves a burning paper bag of dog poo on your doorstep at night, and when you come out to stomp on the fire. . ..and hear some guys laughing, yellings FAGGOTS as they run away, you DO have something to report which will be taken seriously by the police where I live. . . .
But with the politicos and religiocos making nasty slurs and criticism. . .this gives fuel to the fire, to coin an example. . . it enables the unstable elements for some painful antics.

When we have TV funny men standing on national TV spouting anti-gay poo before a laughing live audience
they get higher program ratings. . .
. . .but have to start. . . .;-)

Coop said...

these anti-discrimination laws fight behavior that should be socially unacceptable. I'm sad that people weren't raised better.

JustinO'Shea said...

Well, Coopsta, our parents didn't think rude mean behaviour was cute! In a society where "heaven knows. . .anything goes". . lol
It's far too often "a me-me-me-me world. . .I've got mine.. F-you!"

During the repairs and restoring power in certain parts of uppity CT [as in Conn ]after 'Irene' police were on scene to protect the electrical workers from the action of the local residents. . .yelling at them, throwing stuff, harassing them. Imagine!

Gary Kelly said...

Your protector friend, J, reminds me of someone we both know. "Write the book, Gary. You'll regret it if you don't."

jimm said...

I jus wanna mention some insight.

When i was bullied as a teen, I never told my family about it. Part of the reason was shame in who I was, and how i was different.

And I really didn't want my mom worrying about me. In a way, i felt like i was protecting her from the very same emotional pain I endured.

JustinO'Shea said...

Well, JIMM, that's the kind of man you are. . . "bearing the burden so someone else doesn't have to. . ."

Keep on looking. ;-) Methinks you'll find a lot more of that. . now that you've had the insight.

Makes me think of Someone else we both know. . . . ;-)