Friday, June 25, 2010

Playing Hookie / OPTIMISM






" Y' know, Justin, I am jealous of your perennial optimism. "
One of my friends wrote me this comment recently, in the larger context of talking about "matters of consequence. . . .

My reaction is b l u s h . and then. . . .scratching my head. . .messing my hair. . .what there is of it. . .hehe. . .Is there a difference between jealousy and envy ?

I am home right now.
Went into work earier. Doctor's appointment. . . .check up and final clearance. LOL I suspect. Everything seems quite OK. SO I came home, showered, had some lunch and waiting for Peter. He has the afternoon free so he is coming with me to Hyannis. Then we are gonna chooch around that end of the Cape and see what we can stir up. . . ..hehehe.. . . we are going to play tourist and roam about and gawk! We get back home when we get there. yeeeehaaaaw.

Well you comment above is a compliment actually: you see something in me you like and I daresay, if you are jealous, it is something you'd like for yourself. OKay. . .if so, then work on it. You've heard of behavior modification, naturally. . . this sitz is a classic example of modifying your behavior.

Since I aim at simplicity without facades it is something anyone can work on. Faced with a situation. . ..any situation there are usually two reactions: positive or negative. Primal response is either to run away from it, or stand and fight it. . .fight/fight syndrome. If I choose a negative response. . .and we DO choose. . . .I can accept it gratefully and graciously and keep on growing. . . or I am threatened and I need to protect myself. . . "This is an attack. . I could get my ass kicked". . .my choice will be to stand and deal with it. . .aka fight IF I know I can beat the S#@% out of him/her/it. . . OR I know I cannot handle this here and know so I choose to extricate myself from this threatening situation and run like hell to save my ass. It means I choose to extricate myself from this the best way I know how. Now remember I am writing in metaphor. . . .right? ;-)

OK. . .my "perennial optimism". I know as long as I can breathe and have a pulse. . " .where there is life there is hope."
When my "existential realties" [ ho ho ho. . .fancy stuff, eh?"] or my here-and=now "sitz und leiben"( aka present reality) gives me nice juicy lemons I make lemonade. . and sell it out on The Duness. Aka, I turn the challenge into success.

Is all this unrealistic. . . ..as some woeful souls are apt to say. . .they are victims of any and all circumstances. . . .They've done that all their lives and use that as a tool with which to manipulate others. They keep a stick-on to the fridge door "Eat shit and die!" If you try to offer them another way or approach, an occasion and tools to change, they will sit there politely, listen to what you say, and at the end of the hour, thank you profusely "for all your valuable help, and go out the door.

They promptly dump all you have said in the first receptacle along the road and go on just as before.
They do not want to be free of all their negativity. They've worked hard to build up all their negative defenses to life: in a perverse way it has worked : they choose the life of victims. . . unhappy with it, etc etc, because they won't try another way. Too risky.

For me optimism is far more desirable and creatively productive than the opposite. I choose to be happy, to enjoy life, all of it, as much as I am reasonably able. In interactive situations with peers, other people, I find I am pretty much successful and so my past experience bolsters my confidence.
Though I am somewhat shy and reserved ----- Now please don't split a gut laughing and bleed all over the rug. . .so messy. . hahahahaaa ----- since I am somewhat shy and reserved I have learned where I am open and friendly, interested and engaging, most of the time I am accepted and liked.
In my thinking, my social successes far outweigh my failures. . ..and so forth. No need to belabor the facts.

I am hooked with cause-and-effect principles. To dip into the textbook a bit, each one of us has created our own unique perceptual field -- a $5.50 term for our own unique way of viewing reality.
SO our view of ourselves, others, our world, the events and happenings in our lives comes from [1] our own experiences in life. . .all of them. [2] things we have learned from others; [3] our own fears and desires. . . .all of these color our view of reality - ourselves in the world around us.

I enjoy being happy and so I work on it. . . .Some one said to me a long time ago "Justin, you have to make your own parties. . . " Don't sit and wait for something to happen. . .MAKE IT happen! "

Well, I have gone on long enough., . . .maybe too long? LOL Peter is here. . .time to go. See ya later, duude. .. . . . that's a threat. .. hahahaa

hugs,
justin



6 comments:

Stew said...

We all know people that are perpetually negative. They are the friends that you say "we need to hang out" and never do. I will choose to be with my positive friends everytime over the negative. Although we only know eachother through the computer, I consider you, Justin, and most of the readers here, my positive friends. And I'll hang out with you anytime.

Jabacue said...

Stick with this philosophy on life and you will 'go places kid'.
Really though, as you know, the 'track' you have taken is a good one.....now, keep it maintained and you're all set.

PhotosbyErich said...

Oooh so you and Peter are going to Hyanis to do cliche tourist things? I've spent some time on the mid-Cape. How about these classics for tourists:

- Walk around wherever you happen to be with a half eaten "meltaway" breakfast roll. I know Pete's a baker, he probably couldn't stand to do this, but hey it's VERY Cape Tourist;

- Drive a Saab (a suburu or BMW will do in a pinch) with New York or New Jersey license plates wherever you're going;

- Cup / bowl of clam chowder from Dunfee's on Hyanis;

- Go antique hunting in stores;

- Get a speeding ticket for going too fast on Route 6 through Truro when you're almost back home tonight;

- Linger by that whale watch boat place down at the docks in Hyanis checking out the rates for an excursion---or ferry to Martha's Vineyard. For added tourist effect shake your head slowly and say to each other "I'm just not sure we wanna pay these p-r-I-c-e-s;

- See a show at the Cape Cod Melody Tent (my sister worked there one summer... very tourist experience);

Yeah. I've done it all since the days when you had to go through route 28 in Wareham (Go Bananas Military Surplus anyone?) to get to the Bourne bridge and Route 6. My family always summered in West Harwich. It's another reason I love reading Justin Dunes. Your stories and references to places take me back, although my wife, kids, and I live South of the Mason-Dixon line now.

As Patty Paige sang, "You're sure to fall in love with Ole Cape Cod..."

J said...

I have concluded that you have an endless supply of endorphins that keep you on the sunny side. Hug your folks for giving you that genome.

Gary Kelly said...

In life, there are basically two choices... be happy or be miserable.

On the other hand, there are people who are happy being miserable, and there are people who are miserable being happy.

:)

I think I prefer the word 'content', which is my version realistic.

Coop said...

That's all Great advice Justin ;-)
A positive outlook is the way to go. It's what I strive for.

Thanks for the comment, Stew :)