Friday, June 25, 2010

FINDING A SOUL MATE

Gay Relationships: Ten Tips to Finding Your Gay Soul Mate Online


G2g 091409 First, most gay dating sites are specifically for gay and bisexual men or for gay and bisexual women. A good gay dating service does not even give members the option of being straight; they understand that people are going to the sites because they want someone who is gay.

Second, some online gay dating agencies have questions within your profile that ask you about your lifestyle or type preference. For example you may come across questions about femme/butch preference that a straight dating agency would not ask. In addition you are given the opportunity to write about what is important to you in a life partner. It is a great chance for you to explain what is important to you and what you are specifically looking for in a partner.

The key is to try a gay dating service and see if they meet your needs. It may be easier to sit back and hope someone falls in your lap but life rarely works that way. Everything worth something in life takes at least a little work on your part.

The following ten tips will help you make your best presentation online to help you find your gay soulmate.

Tip 1: Post a real photo of yourself. If you want to po st a picture of you at your best, then follow it up with a picture of you on a normal day. The first step to finding your soul mate is to be honest. If you talk about how important looks are or maybe how they aren't important but then post a picture of your beautiful sister or your better looking brother, you are only contradicting your values.

Tip 2: Do not disclose personal information on your profile. Unfortunately there will always be people in the world that lie, which means that some people on your gay dating site may not actually be gay or may just want to scam others. Even if you use a site that offers ID verification, make sure that the person is someone you are sure of before you start handing out any personal information.

Tip 3: Make sure that you verify the age range of your preferred gay match. Then double check everyone to see if they fall within that range. Don't be afraid to ask them directly what their age is. Some people will change their age just to meet you and others will do it as an extra precaution to hide their identity. Chances are that there is more than one person who is the same age as you in your town so you don't need to lie about it in your profile. Double checking someone's age is about protecting you as much as it is about making sure that the person is someone you want to get to know better.

Tip 4: Before registering with a gay dating agency, you should get a second email address if you don't already have one. There are many free services for emails such as Yahoo or Hotmail where you can set up an email using a name that doesn't have anything to do with your real identity. Many agencies for gay dating won't ask for your real address in your profile, only your city and zip code. Unfortunately many people have set up their permanent email address using their real addresses and they forget it when they are signing up for things online.

Tip 5: If a member starts to pressure you for your phone number, it raises a red flag. If you firmly state no and state your reasons but they still won't listen, don't hesitate to report them to the gay dating agency. All online dating agencies are on the lookout for people trying to run scams and they will appreciate your report (one more good reason for using a paid gay dating website). You will know when it is the right time to hand out your phone number and don't let anyone pressure you. The right person for you is the one that respects you and your wishes. Many gay dating services offer instant messaging services or video messaging so you can hear their voice or instantly chat with them if you need. Online gay dating can be a safe and fun way to meet others, if you take the proper precautions.

Tip 6: Read between the lines in the initial messages you get. Make sure that the things they state match up with the information in their profile. If someone is lying about something you are likely to catch it early on if you are looking for it. Remember just because you both are on a gay dating site doesn't mean you have the same values and beliefs. Don't carry on talking to them if you don't feel comfortable with them or if you just don't want to. The sooner you let the other person move on, the sooner you both will find your soulmates.

Tip 7: Find out about the things that are most important to you in a relationship. If income is important to you then verify what they report as their income, if children or children preference is important to you than talk about it and if smoking/drinking preferences are important than be sure to talk about that. Verify the information that is most important to you. You don't want to start falling for someone and then find out that they weren't being as honest as you in their profile. At the same time if someone seems too good to be true, don't just push them aside. Your soulmate is out there; just make sure you sift through gay dating partners with a fine-tooth comb.

Tip 8: Even though you are using a gay dating agency, that doesn't have an option for straight people, it doesn't mean they won't lie to get in. Protect yourself from people trying to run scams. A true straight person won't know everything about gay culture so you should be able to pick them out of the crowd.

Tip 9: Honesty can not be stressed enough just as it can't be stressed enough that not every one is honest. You can't base a good relationship on lies so you have to go into it being honest while being careful to protect yourself. You have to take the time to ask questions and pay attention to the answers. You have to help yourself find your soulmate and have faith that they are out there looking for you.

Tip 10: Don't meet someone from the Gay Dating Service until you are sure about them. When you do meet, make sure that it is in a very public place with lots of people around. If you can, set it up as a double date with another couple that you are close to. The first meeting is like a blind date even if you have been talking for months (and you should talk for months first). Just be safe and have fun."

Jen Taylor is an expert author of dating advice and is a staff member of http://www.SoulmateHQ.coma website that provides expert reviews for dating websites, articles, tips, and safety tips for online dating.


---------THANKS again to MICHAEL for his permission to post some of his material in my blog.



2 comments:

Gary Kelly said...

My best friend, who referred to us as soul buddies, was a person I met online. I was so impressed, I wrote a book about him. Hehe.

Stew said...

As you know, I met my man online. We would email and IM eachother everyday for 2 months. I saved each email in a seperate file and cross checked everything. When it all added up and it seemed safe, I took the chance and met up with him at a bookstore for coffee.
Half way through our date, he got a call to "pick up a package". He asked me if I wanted to go with him. (His little test for me, I guess) Yes, the package was a corpse and we took her to the funeral home. And the rest is history. So be careful out there guys.