Tuesday, November 24, 2009

News for my Aussie Friends. . . .

"ALLEGED" AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659
( corrected for diplomatic relations. . lol )
--- CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus.
She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her.
She immediately moved to another seat.
This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again.
The man seemed more amused.
When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing,
she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court. The judge asked the man
(about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.
The man replied, Well your Honor, it was like this,
when the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition.
She sat down under a sign that said,
'The Double Mint Twins are coming' and I grinned.
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said,
'Logan 's Liniment will reduce the swelling,' and I had to smile.
Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said,
'William's Big Stick Did the Trick,' and I could hardly contain myself.
But, Your Honor, when she moved the fourth time
and sat under a sign that said,
'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this accident'
. . .I just lost it.
CASE DISMISSED!!

13 comments:

Gary Kelly said...

I strongly suspect the Aussie joker is pulling our leg. Sounds like a formula joke to me.

Anonymous said...

Good story, funny, but I'm a bloody bubble-burster...a doubting Thomas, a sceptical scurrilous scoundrel with too much time wasted that is ill-afforded in front of this damned pooter! ...sorry.

http://www.snopes.com/pregnant/busrider.asp

http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/a/australianbus.htm

Greg in Adelaide

JustinO'Shea said...

Hell's bells. . .I just thought the whole tale was funny. . .on a whimsical note.

I have a certain limited sympathy for those unable to let a tale be a tale. I like a touch of faerie tale and a laugh.

Gary Kelly said...

Mr O'Shea, be seated for a moment and look at me. Ready? There's nothing wrong with the tale. It's the opening line about it being an actual court case that's the problem. Now go to your room.

You want a true story? Okay. My aunt had only just gotten her driving license years ago and stalled her car at an intersection. She got into a bit of a tizz while trying to re-start the car, not realizing she was flooding the engine.

Meanwhile, the driver behind lost patience, and started honking his horn. My aunt sat back for a moment and collected her thoughts. Then she got out of her car and walked to the car behind. "Excuse me," she said to the irate male driver, "I wonder if you'd like to help me get my car started while I sit in yours and continue honking the horn."

JustinO'Shea said...

Gary, your aunt's tale is wonderful!
Now. . if that is true, she is a total winner.

Gary Kelly said...

Yes it's true... and it's a classic tale my mother told me about her sister, one of the best I've ever heard. I also think my aunt deserves an Academy Award for her presence of mind.

Anonymous said...

Mr Kelly (lol) Well said!
I don't like tales parading as fact....but that's just me.

Mr O'Shea, I apologise for bursting your tale. (giggle)

Mebbe it is an Aussie truth-debunking-no-bullshit thing that Mr Kelly and I are 'saddled' with?
Ok, I'll let a tale be a tale in future, sorry.

Greg in Adelaide

JustinO'Shea said...

Yaaaay GREG from Adelaide. . . I likes your style, Mistah (Cape Cod americanese), hahahaa. I imagine sitting with you and Gary could be an illuminating experience. LOL

Gary Kelly said...

Don't forget your chastity belt.

J said...

You have no idea how many bizarre true stories are told in court. Once in a nearby community a man was prosecuted for copulating with a sow. He was caught in flagrante dilecto in the pigpen by his wife, who had been wondering why he doted on and was giving this pig so much good slop. At trial she wanted to drop the charges to keep the family together, although probably without the company of its porcine member. The case launched a thousand jokes, but my favorite was this:
"Do you know how the police found out? The pig squeeled!"
Are you totally grossed out now, Justin?

Anonymous said...

Why thank you Mr O'Shea, I do believe it would be rather ....entertaining.

Greg in Radelaide

Mike Connor said...

Hey guys :) I'm kinda new here, found it by Theuglyduckling project (Which is great btw ;O) I'm quite young :x Gary knows me :D I just made this profile.

Anyways, talking about those things reminds me of my brother what he told me, haha
So my big bro 'n my uncle were driving to Copenhagen, and on the way there they held and waited for the light to turn green, when this tooned car drove in just beside of them, it was young dudes with glasses on, loud music, honked their horn, my uncle just threw his cigar down in the car, just at the dudes crouch, and then the light shifted and they drove away. Is that awesome or what :D? Haha :) I think it's great ^^ He just scrolled down the window, threw the cigar into the other vehicle, scrolled up again, and drove, haha :D

Anonymous said...

Haha, I like your correctness Mr O'Shea (and thanks Gary for using that address, to me it is appropriate, as times..heehee)

Greg in Radelaide