Unfortunately their guilt and not being "good" has little to do at all with human sexuality, or the use or abuse of sexual activity. I goes deeper to how they feel about themselves. . . . .often as unloveable. . "Who could possibly love me?" Then they spend lots of time over the years assembling 'proofs'. . .actions, activities to prove it. In our society and often family background, sexuality and a gay orientation give us ample proof that 'deep down we really are trash.'
One-night-stands as a lifestyle do very little to fill the deep-down need we have to love and be loved. Why? I think that if that is all we experience we and others become sex-objects, things, toys. Sex becomes depersonalized. . .there is no real sharing of persons, except perhaps on the most primitive of levels.
I think knowing someone, being in some sort of loving/affective relationship is really very desirable.
Obviously these are my relies to Loki's questions. How others would answer would be interesting.
I don't know when I "lost my virginity". . . ..LOL. My first guy-guy sex was when I was 15. My track partner, a year older, and I came in late from running one late afternoon. . .and the locker room and shower were empty. We fooled around a bit and hit the showers where we fooled aound more. Dammit, we heard somone come into the locker room. . . ..dressed and headed out home.
He gave me a ride home and, on the way, stoped, got my jean down [easily, by the way] and WoW. . .my first BJ. . . . .whooooaaaaaaaahhhhhh. We had a very interesting year. heheheheee
Defined roles. . like top or bott, M /F. etc? Fine, I guess, if that's what they want.
I prefer things more more 'organic' . . .go with flow. . .see what the moment brings, etc etc. That's it. Vague, I know. . . .hehehe. . .by choice.
I believe in real honesty, openness, real sharing of mind and heart, not hiding or being ashamed of who I am.. . what I do. . .
I believe Loki4469 and I would luv to hear what others think on these matters. . .