Amusing stuff. . . .I think. . . . ;-)

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak? Why do banks charge a fee due to insufficient funds when they already know you're broke? Why is it that when someone tells you that there are one billion stars in the universe, you believe them but, if they tell you there is wet paint, you have to touch it to check? Why do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Whose cruel idea was it to put an "s" in the word "lisp"? If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? Why is it that, no matter what color bubble bath you use, the bubbles are always white? Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Why do people run over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the first end you try? How do those dead bugs get into enclosed light fixtures? Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? Why, in winter, do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place? And my FAVORITE The statistics on sanity say that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends.A