Monday, June 20, 2011

My Ex-Gay Friend - NYTimes

Perhaps events of this wondrous Fathers' Day weekend helped set me up for this. . . This?  The feelings I have this afternoon, and especially after reading this article in the NYTimes magazine  "My Ex-Gay Friend".  While I was reading it I couldn't help but identify the two guys in the story .. . as if they were Justin and Peter. . . and as if Peter had announced "I am not Gay anymore!"  The next part is quoted directly from the article, the poem the Ex-Gay had written.

<<  Before I left Halifax, Ben showed me one last poem, titled “The Boy Scout Pledge.” “The Michael who wrote this is the Michael I fell in love with,” he said.

I Solemnly Swear,/Never to tell the Scoutmaster./Never to tell the others. Never to let such/Knowledge leave this tent, Never to acknowledge you/Again, Never to tighten your handkerchief again, Never to/Look in your eyes again, Never to race soapbox derby in/The sand with you again, Never to read Whitman as you/Cuddle till you sleep, Never to creep, carefully to the lake/With you again, Never to take wildflowers/To your tent again, Never to cry for you again, Never to tie/Knots in each other’s hair,/Never to breathe your air,/Never to touch your inner thigh,/Never to catch your stare./Never to be two boys together, clinging./Never to dare.  >> 

It also reminded me of the friend I lost because I said "I am  Gay! "
Things were always just fine in our intimacy. . . as long as we didn't name it.  "IT " had started in high school  and we had had sexual intimacy.  That sort of     " drifted "" when we went to college, but when we'd meet on vacations, say in Barnes and Noble, there was no hesitancy: we always hugged, and he'd kiss me. . and go on talking with great enthusiasm.  Until. . . . yeah, until the day when I said outloud to him  "I am Gay! "  Then everything changed.  I had named  IT outloud.   I sort-of remember his remark. . "Why do you Gays always have to talk  about IT?!    "

I have never seen him since.  One of the casualties of truth.  



jimm said...

Kinda like the boy who wouldn't hold hands, huh?

JustinO'Shea said...

yepper. . .except. . .well, enuff said., . .hahahahahaaaaa

Gary Kelly said...

Yep, I have a few ex-gay friends as well. It's okay as long as you don't label it. Hehe. How absurd.

But, of course, when you deal with people, you learn to expect the absurd. It's the nature of the beast.

J said...

Great lines in this Times story. This scout sure won his merit badge in writing.

Coop said...

This Michael guy seems like a tortured person.No wonder he fell victim to the ex-gay drivel.
Unfortunately, I don't think his fascination with queer theory helped him.
Maybe he does not know/understand the exact man he is.

Coop said...

Naming "it", Justino, probably meant your friend had to acknowledge something he was ashamed of.
Should we be ashamed of something un-named??
A wise guy once told me that the heart lies beyond and under the dictionary (something like that).
Anyway all this profound stuff has made me hungry.