Thursday, September 30, 2010

NJ student's suicide points our internet dangers. . . . .

More news on these tragic events at Rutgers. . . .   

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100930/ap_on_re_us/us_student_taped_sex

Hello Everybody. . . .

Yes. . .and the sad thing is that these two students, apparently, never stopped to think even of the potential harm they were causing. Now alone and in conversations with law enforcement and lawyers they are being told the severe consequences of what they did.
But when gays and lesbians are held in such low regard, in general, in our society. . . I don't mean the politically correct terms, words, phrases used on "state occasions". . .but the realities that millions laugh about watching TV "comedian" a-holes. . .the things guys say and do to a fag kid in the locker room. . or worse, out behind the football stands. . . Those of you who saw/remember the flash scenes in BrokebackMountain of what happened to one of the two men. . . and the grief in the life of the other. Or that scene in QAF where Justin is bashed, almost killed in the parking garage at the prom. . by the football hunk whom Justin had jerked off and then later told out in public on the Liberty Street in Queer Village. We can too easily say "well those were just movies". . .and that is correct. . .yet movies based on real life stories of what happens to gay boys who get caught. . . Children learn their mores/morals from adult society and mirror it. . . . justin p.s. My students, on their initiative, are organizing a peace/reconciliation prayer vigil for tomorrow night. .. AND, ,get this: it will be held in the chapel at the Catholic Center on campus! That's where they wanted and they got no hassle from the Fathers there. ;-)
September 30, 2010 6:37 PM
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11 comments:

Gary Kelly said...

One of the most memorable lessons in my life took place when I was a small child. I heard a noise on the other side of the backyard fence, and peered through a crack in the palings. I saw 6 little fluffy yellow chickens. 5 of them were pecking the remaining one to death. It was covered in blood.

I couldn't understand why such innocent little creatures were behaving in such a horrible manner. But it was a sight I've never forgotten. And I grew up to see it happen time and time again in the human world.

Maybe that initial experience was some kind of warning.

J said...

Cases like this cause you to consider "what ifs". The Rutgers student was reportedly a gifted violinist. Did his vicious roommate ever hear him play? Could he ever have been so cruel if he had?

Stew said...

Recently, Davey Wavey posted about a young man that was wondering... "How did they know before I did?"
It's unlikely that they did. They just see someone that is different. And calling someone a fag is the lowest form of a put down that they can come up with.

It is our responsibility to make it something that is to be proud of. It is no lower than anything else and therefor can not be looked down on, only looked at as if it is different.

I believe this most recent case would have happened only maybe with a different out come if they guy was straight. Kids are taught that sex is something to laugh at and joke about. Being different, makes it worse. But is it? Or is it better?

I think the day will come that we are looked at as gifted. People will want to be gay.
Hey, a guy can dream.

JustinO'Shea said...

STEW. . ."someday we will be looked upon as gifted" Hellooooooooooo?
LOL
Remember we already HAD the tradtion in these lands, the US of A ! And our "civilized ancestors" LOST it for us! Sheeesssshhhh.

That tradition that we are gifted people DOES exist in this land. . .among the survivors (and re-vivers) of the Ancient Traditions of the Three Spirit people. . . the 'berdache' of the Native Americans and the First Nations peoples in Canada.

Gays and lesbians were early 'discerned' and raised in the tradtions. . .they were the "holy men and women". .the Shamans. . the healers, the vision seekers, the keepers of the Traditions.

As chidren those boys who tended more to the feminine spirit were raised as "girls" and even wore female clothing. The male Three Spirit men led the pow-wows, told the stories, had the visions for the hunts, wars, relationships. etc.

So my friend, how do we restore this. . .you , me. . .him.. . her. . ? How do we help us to become a "gifted part of society" again? Or. . ..are we already, in some ways?

One question, I think important: how can we do this when OUR ancestors were the spiritual people and so many of US reject/ignore the spiritual. . .disregard religious traditions passed down to us over the ages?

Is this a problem area. . . ? ;-)

justin

Gary Kelly said...

Allow me to paste something I wrote on my blog today:

But back to that young man who suicided after being secretly filmed having sex with another male, and then having it broadcast on the internet. Who killed him? I'll tell you who killed him. The homophobes killed him. He was obviously distraught at being "found out" by his family and friends who he had anticipated would admonish him, and possibly ostracize him, for his unseemly conduct. They are the ones who killed him. And this is the problem. While ever sex, and especially sex with another person of the same sex, is treated as some kind of weird and disgusting activity, this kind of guilt will persist. Let me quote again Ohio June's comment: IT'S ONLY SEX.

Yes, for crying out loud. If he'd been filmed having a crap or vomiting, would he have suicided?

And you're correct, Justin. Some societies actually revered homosexuals and treated them as special members of the community.

And why not? We have our very own Justin as a living example.

Coop said...

": how can we do this when OUR ancestors were the spiritual people and so many of US reject/ignore the spiritual. . .disregard religious traditions passed down to us over the ages?"

I'm confused Justin. I don't see how how we Catholics n Christians have the same spiritual traditions as the Three spirits?
What are the traditions that we Should not disregard?
Or, am I missing something (as usual).

JustinO'Shea said...

OK, my dear Coops. . . you wrote, to remind us. . . "" I'm confused Justin. I don't see how how we Catholics n Christians have the same spiritual traditions as the Three spirits?
What are the traditions that we Should not disregard?
Or, am I missing something (as usual).""

My friend, I am going to get the 'berdache' rituals out and do a service over you. . .LOL I'd like to suggest you move out of the "religion box". . .and move away from sects, cults, denominations. . .I am speaking in generalities. . the spirituality, values, traditions of the various traditions.

YOU are being way too literal, , , move on, move out, bro!
I am NOT saying abandon your religious/spiritual upbrnging, faith, etc. ANy more than I do that; you know that!

I AM saying there is a bit/a lot of abandoning all religious values/traditions. . ."throw it off". . . why not incorporate all these good things into our lives as gay men and women? Not become pious ninnies and pious poops. . .but be ourselves.

Maybe we DO need to outgrow some of the silly stuff that are perpetuated in stereotypes which most of us abhor. . .know what I mean, bro? Hope so. . . ++

Stew said...

My grandfather was 100% American Indian. So I need no reminder of the traditions of these people. And that's why I brought it up.

How do we get back to it? By not being ashamed. What makes anyone kewl? The fact that they make no apologies for who they are. If we want to get back to being the ones that everyone looks up to and wants to be like, we must be proud of who we are.

On a daily basis I talk openly about my life, my husband and my family. I make no apologies and don't sugar coat it for the youthfully impaired. I find that I get more respect now than I ever did when I was hiding who I really was.
Embrace yourself first, and others will follow. We all need to come out. Stop hiding, it only perpetuates their hate.

JustinO'Shea said...

Stew. . .I hope you didn't feel I was "lecturing" you. Was not my intent. ;-)

Like this. . ."youthfully impaired"!
Ver descriptive and very funny! I want to remember this one. . . ;-)

justin

Coop said...

I don't mean to minimize the fact that Tyler was afraid because he was "Outed". This WAS a tragedy.

What I can't get past is that Tyler's roommate did not honor his request for privacy. It seems like the roommate was spying on Tyler anyway and just *happened* to find out that he was kissing a guy.

Stew said...

I have never found any offense here in the dunes and I felt nothing like of being lectured.

Let the record stand though that the term you used "berdache" refers to TWO spirited people. Meaning both male and female spirits residing in one body. This is a term that really has never caught on so well. It's something that is used more by straights than gays to help them understand. Like many of my friends, I am all male and also like the company of males. There's not a lot of female to the mix.
But, I'm off subject. Thanks for letting me vent.