Thursday, March 20, 2014

It has been said . . . .


Hello. . . .Mind if I share a few personal - as in private  - thoughts?  Ready or not, here I come.

Choosing which material to include in The Dunes makes me sit still and read and think and day-dream and wonder. . .all of that nice stuff.

After reading today's article about enhancing intimacy in our lives I couldn't help wondering if anyone takes/ makes the time to do some of the self inventories hinted out and loudly suggested.  

Possessed of the kind of mental machinations I have I can't NOT stop and evaluate things. . . my prying-get-to-the-roots workings grabs me and hangs until getting a satisfied word.  So, yes, I spent some time thinking about stuff here.  I had planned to post this yesterday. .
well, I got to it today.

I kinda think Peter is better at working on things than I am.  Sometimes I don't become aware of a short-coming in my expressions of intimacy until I am caught up short-in-the-very-act and know I am lacking or not sensitive enough. . . and then embarrassingly realize I am takisenseng things for granted, or coldly didn't bother. . .
and that not only "hurts" Peter. . . I am hurt because I realize "I coulda. . I shoulda. . .but didn't" but I have grown into the ability and honesty/humility to admit to him and apologize to him for/about it.

Well, I guess  you see what I am driving at. . . .;-)
And that leads me to the saying posted in the framed

I think 0f the word complete in the sense of complimenting  each other. . . .
making the couple more fully themselves and 
thus Peter and Justin become more one.

Does that make sense?  Please. . .. jump in with
your ideas, if you will.  Thaanks. . . . . justin ;-)


jimm said...

DrJ, ummm... i confess, as a youngster, when it came to relationships and intimacy, i missed the boat. Not that i didn't try.

I feel one huge roadblock is pride. Guys don't cry... or don't own up when being wrong...

Often, i didn't even know how to express my inner-most feelings. And i am still not very good at apologizing.

Also, i have an issue with trust. Not only trust in people, but in my own skills and abilities.

Question: How do you respond when someone compliments you? Do you shrug it off? Or do you tell the person something such as, "thanks, that makes me feel good?"

Today a client manager complimented me for my good work. I couldn't quite hear her, but i knew she was complementing me. And i just kinda shrugged it off. Blahhh!!!

Anyhow, i figure your blog material does touch on some of my issues. Whether any of this response addresses your relationship/intimacy experiences, idk?

I have this motto, would be terrific for a t-shirt:

'It's okay to be perfict.'

(i hope you GET IT) hehehe!!!

J said...

You're on the right track, Dr. O'Shea.

Gary Kelly said...

I would add: only need someone to accept you completely AFTER YOU HAVE ACCEPTED YOURSELF.

GreginAdelaide said...

Perfect sense

GreginAdelaide said...

Perfect sense

gp said...

Maybe "completeness", like perfection, is an unattainable goal... present company excluded of course :). Maybe a better way to say it is the day someone stops trying to become a better person is the day he/she starts dying inside.

And btw, i'm pretty sure you meant complementing, not complimenting. Apologies for the pedantry, but thought you might want to know about the typo :).

JustinO'Shea said...

Thanks, Bro. .one little " i" makes a lot of difference, right!*
"Even Homer nods!" ho ho ho*

*in many ways!

GreginAdelaide said...

Yes, Gary "AFTER YOU HAVE ACCEPTED YOURSELF." is the other half of the equation to achieve a correct and fully harmonious balance.

In fact, is it not the key?

I kick myself, I should have thought of adding that qualifier in this instance.... because Lord knows, I've been known to preach that line often enough to others!!! ha!!!