Tuesday, April 10, 2012

10 Same-Sex Dating Challenges

Periodically one of the editors of this site sends me an article she thinks might be of interest to you folk.
Here it is.  All comments would be welcome.   ~justin



GreginAdelaide said...

I've got no comments to make other than it is all common sense stuff. A big obvious....and does not raise or solve any question or issue for me.

Anonymous said...

I vote for #1. My parents will understand eventually. (They've already asked me and I've danced around it).The emotion and questions I may not be able to answer...

GreginAdelaide said...

Hey Anonymous, I never did come clean to my parents. No doubt they guessed, well, at least my Ma must have, surely.

But it was never a priority....for me.....me sexuality I mean, it was never a priority in my life, still isn't really.

There is so much more to life than sexuality.....even though it is a big part of ourselves, we cannot let it rule our lives.

Media and peer pressure can make you think it is a major priority though.

I have straight friends that let sex rule their lives, one of them is in his 70s and he still is on the trail. His wife died a year back and he has been on the scent ever since, relentlessly.

Yes, loneliness is a big factor, after a lifetime of marriage I can only imagine what it is like to be alone. So a search for a new mate is one thing, but the constant search that another of my straight friends does, just to satisfy his lustful urges is unbelieveable to say the least...and he's in his mid 60s!

It rules his life, always has.

All I am saying, I guess, that for some of us...gays and straights, is that it is not essential to get caught up in the relentless search for sex....and as most of what we read about gay life on the web is about sex and relationships and seems to be saying that we must be 'doing it' all the time, stop, think about it, do you need to be heading down that path all the time?
Do you, as a person, need to be ruled by sex?
Is sex the driving force in your life?
I say, take the time to rationalise it as it applies to you, think your own life, your own priorities and not all that you read on gay websites and in books...that sex is king.

There, my 2 cents worth....and welcome to the "tribe"...although you've no doubt been watching for a while...like I did before I found my voice and joined in with our colorful and wise leader, Justin of the Dunes.

GreginAdelaide said...

Ah, and I was not saying, don't come out.
I didn't, but that's just what I did, but it is different for everyone of course. What I did was right for me, I think....but then...maybe...haha!

I am out to a select bunch of my close friends, they seem to know that I am not out to all, that I don;t want to be.

In fact they would not know for sure who I am out to unless they've talked amongst themselves...as I know some have done.

It's just not a subject that is important to me....so they obviously take me as I am and don't blab and talk about it and out me generally, that's fine with me.
I'm lucky, I have great friends.

I have no doubt that had I been openly gay, out to everyone, that it would have limited my options in life, my opportunities. I chose not to have those judgements upon me, I chose to live, succeed and fail on my other characteristics, my sexuality is my private business.

Was it a good choice?
How different would my life have been? (not that it is over yet...not by a loooong way!)

Maybe I'd not be single? Who knows.
No regrets, I think.

We each have to find our own ground.
So go to it Anonymous, make oyur own decision and do not be too influneced by others, do what is right for you.

Coop said...

I agree with Greg about coming out. That's good advice. But what about hiding one's significant male other from one's parents?

Yes, Greg there is more to life than sexuality. Too much focus on the sex in homoSEXual.

GreginAdelaide said...

Coop said "But what about hiding one's significant male other from one's parents?"

Well, I just danced around it....and let them go figure.

Fortunately I always had a heap of friends around me, and they were always welcomed to our home. I was lucky that my parents loved and encouraged all the crew that my bro and I hung around with into the house. If either my bro or I invited any of them to meals or special occasions it was not unusual, we had more or less a big extended family...and somehow my significant other of the time slotted in there quite readily.

No doubt some guessed, but there were never any uncomfortable moments.

Somehow it just worked and I didn't ahve to do much dancing...heehee

But I do get your question Coop, and I ahve no answer, no general answer. Each person must find their own I guess.