Thursday, November 3, 2011

A Note from the Janitor.  . . . .

Periodically I receive emails from some of LaFamiglia here on The Dunes.  In the last few weeks I have three emails commenting on a few of the articles I post on dating, relationships, etc. etc.

Here is the most recent comment I've received.  << I know you take these articles seriously so i'm reluctant to criticize this guy. I'm curious though. . . . .>> etc.

Let me share a few comment with you all.   First of all, as for "taking these articles seriously", we need to define "seriously".
First off, I do not take any article I post here as "the serious of all serious material". . . LOL  Nor do I approve/endorse/ recommend
that anyone else take this stuff for more than it is. 

In general these are written by two gents who are "in the business" as it were, of life-coaching, counseling, etc.  Over the years we all come to some decided ideas about what we have seen work in our own lives or in the lives of those with whom we work.. . and so we offer these are some ideas on certain topics, on the more or less common problem-areas guys run into with relationships and sharing life with someone we love and to whom we'd like to commit.

Please, I do not want you to think that I post these as "the last word on the issue", or that I approve of everything presented in some or any of the articles.  I offer these, somewhat selectively, as beginners for discussion, as someone's personal opinion,
to see what conversation and/or dialogue might arise from guys sharing their feelings and opinions about these and  other topics.

To my friend who is reluctant to criticize anything:  Have no fear.  Express your thinking, ideas, objections, questions.  Do not fear to express your opinion differently from the views presented in these articles.  These are the opinions and ideas of two differing writers/counsilors.  None of these represent "the last word" on any matter. . . .they are intended to launch discussion, thinking, further reading, etc.

My  friend Teddy finds some of the views expressed in these articles as making him very uncomfortable, expressing ideas and /or practices he does not approve of or go along with.  Ted, sometimes I feel similar.  Some of these I would never suggest in a client session as "the answer" to his problems.  I might talk about these things with Ted and hopefully help him to come to things with which he is comfortable and develop ways to act and react which do not violate his own conscience.

I see my role as therapist as working with someone to assist him to find his own answers and solutions and ways of handling things.   Both in class room and in private I see my role as an educator. . . . I draw out from within himself his views and beliefs about issues. . . .from the Latin verb educare. . . .to draw out from the  one with whom I am working/ teaching.  It is not my role to impose solutions/answers from outside  but  to draw them out from within the depths of the person.

So please do not look on any of the posts on this Blog as being definitive, the ultimate total answer to anything. . . . these are to encourage and stimulate thought. . . .thinking. . .assessing. . I can define more clearly for myself how I am going to live.

OK?  I hope these few comments might free you up to express your own ideas and opinions.  You know, I am on Blog to learn also, to share and get new ideas.   My best classes are when I am learning with my students. . . drawing from what I have learned from others, my own present fears and desires. . . listening and pondering on my students ideas and experiences, etc.  We are all learners. . . .

                            j u s t i n o


Gary Kelly said...

You remind me of a shrink I visited in my mid 20s who listened to me for a couple of sessions and then said, "Well, there's nothing more I can add what what you've already told me. You seem to have a good understanding of the situation." And then he thanked me and gave me the bill.

JustinO'Shea said...

Hmmm. . .seems to work every time. . .right? hahaha

Coop said...

I keep thinking that the therapist tells the patient what to believe. The note shed some light on something about therapy.
Thanks, Justino. :-}

How can a person grow and change if they reject ideas? Stuff that doesn't jive with their faith or moral compass?
Yeah yeah. Moi! I asked that question. Me who rejects the Catholic church's idea that i'm intrinsicly disordered.