Wednesday, February 26, 2014

ARIZONA. . . . .MUST BE THE DUST STORMS. . . ..CLOGS THE BRAIN. . . .

The Borowitz Report

FEBRUARY 25, 2014

ARIZONA CONFRONTING AWKWARD REALIZATION THAT GAY PEOPLE HAVE MONEY, BUY STUFF

boro-arizona.jpg
PHOENIX (The Borowitz Report)—The state of Arizona found itself in the middle of a conundrum today as it awoke to the awkward realization that gay people have money and buy stuff.
Just days after the Arizona legislature passed a law that would enable businesses to discriminate against gays, it emerged that gays spend billions of dollars in Arizona each year—an unexpected development that seemed to take many legislators by surprise.
Carol Foyler, a Tea Party Republican who supported the anti-gay law, said that the startling bombshell that gays play a role in the state’s economy put her and her fellow lawmakers “in a tight spot.”
“Quite frankly, we were blindsided by this,” she said. “We had no idea that gays had money and bought things just like regular people do.”
Acknowledging that her vote for the anti-gay law might have been calamitous for the state’s economy, Ms. Foyler placed the blame for it squarely on the shoulders of one group: the gays themselves.
“How was I supposed to know what gay people do with their money, etc., when I don’t personally know any gay people?” she asked. “I’m sorry, but it was up to the gays to tell us.”
Above: Arizona Governor Jan Brewer. Photograph by Bebeto Matthews/AP.

7 comments:

jimm said...

"... just like regular people do"

siiiigh... can we just rename it Uganzona, and call it a day????

Gary Kelly said...

I love Andy Borowitz and the way he exposes the foolish with humor.

gp said...

Meanwhile, the Christianist geniuses in the legislatures of 10 other "red" states are working on passing the exact same kind of law.

RADICALJOE said...

I think that the Arizona legislature Has Won the A H award for 2014. I think I had named them the Crooked Clowns. It really
fits 'em like a Perfect Shoe. You know where those shoes go.

JustinO'Shea said...

RAD JO:...Hmmm.. "those shoes were made for walkin'. . . .". . but they not gonna walk all over me. . . LOL

Richard said...

It's just amazing how the threat of losing the Super Bowl can change the minds of certain folks!

Coop said...

I can't help but wonder, if a business that is anti-gay is forced to accept business from gay people, will it give gay people the same quality of service?

If a baker is anti-gay marriage, I wouldn't go out of my way to buy my wedding cake there.