MAKING a GOOD IMPRESSION. . . .parts One & Two

Gay Relationships: 8 Tips For An Awesome First Impression - Part 1

Posted: 07 Aug 2013 05:25 AM PDT

Whether you’re single and looking for “The One” or are trying to break into a social group or land a new job with a potential employer, you may only have one opportunity to peak someone’s interest and curiosity in who you are and what you might bring to the table.

It’s commonly said that people form a first impression of someone within minutes, and sometimes even seconds, of meeting him. Unlike those in your support system who know you intimately, new people only have limited knowledge about who you are and will form a judgment or an image about you by what they see and observe in their brief encounter with you.

This hardcore reality can make or break an interaction, so you want to make sure you put your best foot forward to increase your chances of success in whatever outcome you’re seeking to accomplish in that particular social exchange.

This article will offer some tips on how to make the most of your initial contacts with potential dating prospects so you can leave a favorable impression of yourself in their minds.This intrigue will compel them to want to learn more and then you’ll be well on your way toward landing that first date to gauge if there is any compatibility for some form of relationship moving forward. 

Trying to “get your foot in the door” with someone can sometimes feel anxiety-provoking and laden with pressure, especially if you tend to be shy or find yourself in a situation that’s foreign or out of sorts for you. But by applying some of these suggestions and being yourself, you just might find yourself in the position to make your relationship goals come to fruition.

TOP 8 TIPS FOR MAKING A ROCK SOLID FIRST IMPRESSION

1. It’s All About Him!

This is probably the most important rule that the socially savvy gay dater must always follow if he wants to leave a lasting positive impression in the minds of any guy he’s interested in getting to know better. To snag the attentions of a guy, it’s always important to make him feel like the star. While reciprocation is important, the lead-in contact should be about meeting his needs first.

Take the initial emphasis off yourself and instead show lots of curiosity and interest about him. Capitalize on commonalities and try to make him feel good about his strengths you observe.

Avoid comments about physical appearance unless your intent is more about sexual cruising because this can be off-putting and may seem insincere and superficial. If the other guy is equally as savvy, he’ll mirror back the same style and the dialog will likely deepen.

2. Body Language is Key

Your words are only one part of the equation. Your non-verbal communication is probably more attuned to by your conversational partner than what you say and can have more power and believability to his interpretations of your credibility and character.

Make sure to smile, lean in when speaking to show interest, maintain good eye contact, watch your voice tone and rate of speech, and be as relaxed as possible to show a smooth composure. And make sure your body language and verbal speech are congruent and match.

3. Watch Your Communication Style

It’s important to have a balanced dialog with the guy you’re speaking with. Try to match each other’s style and avoid monopolizing the conversation or being a non-participant.

There should be a nice back-and-forth rhythm between the two of you and learn to become adept at reading social cues that indicate his interest or a lack thereof so that boundaries can be respected.

4. Be Yourself!

Even though you want to make a good impression, remember that this isn’t a performance. It’s essential to be the “real you”.  Be authentic, fun, and interesting and use an appropriate amount of self-disclosure. People can spot an impostor a mile away.

Being fake is deceitful and starts relationships off on a dishonest foot. It also tends to attract the type of men who probably aren’t compatible with your relational partner vision anyway and wastes precious time and energy.

Part 2 - Tomorrow

Awesome First Impression - Part 2 Posted: 08 Aug 2013 05:25 AM PDT Whether you’re single and looking for “The One” or are trying to break into a social group or land a new job with a potential employer, you may only have one opportunity to peak someone’s interest and curiosity in who you are and what you might bring to the table. ( Continued from yesterday ) --- Part One: 8 Tips For Making A Solid Awesome First Impression ) 5. Practice Core Mindfulness In a first encounter with someone, it’s common to want to be liked and this can lead to being too much “in your head”. Thinking about what you’re going to say next in the interaction or worrying about the other guy’s perception of you can be distracting and take you away from being attentive from the man across from you. This can certainly bomb the guy’s opinion of you if he thinks you’re not paying attention to what he’s saying or if you appear distant and preoccupied. Live in the here-and-now and be in the moment. Let all five of your senses go wild and make sure to mirror back and validate what’s being communicated so he knows you’re really listening. That’s an important skill that will help you stay centered and connected with your talking partner. 6. Be All That You Can Be Although it’s controversial and can be viewed as shallow, physical appearance does play a huge role in someone’s estimation of you. Especially as men, we are generally cued in and attracted to the visual, so your looks and presentation will be important factors to consider. Pay attention to your grooming and hygiene, not to mention your clothes and accessories. Exercise regularly to give yourself both inner and outer glow. Your internal life is also vitally important. When you have positive self-esteem, you unconsciously send off vibes of confidence, self-assuredness, and sexiness. These tend to be magnetic qualities. Really let your personality shine through and be unapologetically yourself. 7. Feed Your Brain Sometimes being in a social situation can be overwhelming when you feel out of your element.And if the guy is really hot and you’re instantly smitten, it’s not uncommon to get tongue-tied and be at a loss for words. Always have a back-up arsenal of possible topics to have at your disposal should you need to spontaneously pull one out in an uncomfortable pause or silence with your conversational partner. Keep up on current events or media and read books on flirting, mingling, or social skills to fine-tune and boost your confidence. Not only will this give you something to talk about, but it will also make you more interesting and intellectually stimulating to your audience. Just make sure to not sound rehearsed or forced and let the conversation flow naturally into a topic change. 8. Get Coached! We often are not aware that people can perceive us differently than we see ourselves when socializing. Enlist the help of a trusted friend or coach to observe you in action at a social setting and listen to their feedback about your various strengths and weaknesses. Then you can develop a battle strategy for improving those areas in need of a work-out. You can also attend classes on public speaking, join your local Toast Masters club, or enroll in a local improvisational or acting course to help you practice your social skills and to learn how to feel more at ease with spontaneity and “thinking on your feet.” CONCLUSION First impressions are lasting, so you want to ensure that you give it all you’ve got without undue pressure to please. We can’t usually control the chemistry that we feel toward certain people, but you can promote your chances of dating success and/or building your friendship network and professional leads by letting your true personality shine through in your interactions with others and following the above tips to the best of your ability. If you and that other guy don’t click, don’t sweat it. If nothing else, it was good practice with your social skills and it is definitely NOT a rejection of you…because they don’t know who you are on one interchange. So get out there and mix and be fabulous! Who knows? Maybe one of those times you’ll snag someone special out of it. Cheers! © Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach The suggestions and feedback offered in this column are but one perspective of multiple approaches to dealing with problems or challenges. Information provided in articles and advice columns should not be used as a substitute for coaching or therapy when these services are needed. None of this information should be your only source whe