G'day JustinO,
The day no one cares about being gay can't come soon enough.
Gary
I do not need to tell the world I am gay any more than other men need to state "Hey, guys, I am straight. . ." Imagine the response?
LOL. "So. . . .?" "Nice for ya. . ..can I watch you 'straighten' out?"
Silly.
That's how I see it. . . that's how I feel.
See ya around. .. ;-)
J u s t i n O
5 comments:
Things are moving with such great rapidity. When a guy like McClatchy decides that, at long last, he has nothing to lose,it is a great sign of progress. I wish I were in that position. My children know of my sexual feelings as of two months ago, but two of them are not speaking to me now. I'm scared they might tell others and make a mess of it. There are a lot of guys out there who have a hell of a lot to lose by public disclosure, and I know just how they feel.
Justin, Kevin McKlatchy real life
has been taken away. He has lived in fear for many years. What a Wonderful World this isn't. To many Professional People, are afraid that they won't be able to make a good salary. That is what most men and women take to thinking
about in any type of coming out--no
party for anyone wanting to be themselves. I know that I am made to not to feel like I am not normal
by my own family. It is good to talk with a gay person, They Know.
Hope I spelt Kevin's last name right.
SORRY to read this, J. ..very sorry. Let's hope loyalty kicks in. . .and gratitude!
justin
I'm sorry to hear of your predicament, J. But I can't help wondering how much one has to gain compared to how much one has to lose by coming out.
My guess is that the two of your kids who won't speak to you are feeling cheated because they've been misled all their lives more so than by the fact that you're gay. Mind you, it's early days yet and they're still dealing with the "shock". Give them time.
Meanwhile, you need to be strong. It's okay to apologize for having misled others, but never never never apologize for being gay. Your mistake has been to fear the opinions of others; to be intimidated by your own "internalized" homophobia (as the Dunes articles often describe it); to create a false impression of yourself.
In my case, my mother accused me of shaming the family name and said I should never have been born. My dad asked "Where did I go wrong?" referring to himself as a father. Two of my siblings also vehemently disapproved. I'm not sure what the third thinks or even if he knows, and I don't care. I'm not about to apologize to anyone.
If my self respect means risking or losing the respect of others, so be it. I figured out a long time ago that the only respect worthwhile having is the respect you earn by being yourself.
Many years ago, lubricated by a few glasses of red, you wrote me lamenting how I was happily presenting myself to the world while you were living a secret. So obviously it's been bothering you for a long time.
I find it interesting that you refer to McClatchy as a person who "decides that, at long last, he has nothing to lose". To me, that means he's spent all those past years living the life of a coward. How convenient to admit his sexuality "when he has nothing to lose". Coop may be proud of him but not me. I think McClatchy is a wuss. A cheat.
I suspect when parents or children fail to reveal their sexuality to their families and/or loved ones in order to avoid hurting them, all they're doing is postphoning that hurt. And the longer they postphone it, the worse it gets.
If there's a message here to young people, it's DO IT NOW. As they say in the advertising game, there's never been a better time.
As to you, J, it's too late to go back. You're stuck with the truth now, and you simply have to deal with it.
Wisdom in hindsight, yes? At least it's better than no wisdom at all.
It takes guts to be gay.
I agree, Coop. Many of us have denied being gay at one time or another, or avoided the issue.
I'm also aware that many people who are closeted for whatever reason will continue to justify their decision to remain that way, and perhaps take offense at what I wrote.
Nonetheless, I also believe it's a can of worms that needed to be opened.
Post a Comment