Adolescents Driven to the Brink
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JustinO'Shea said... - Society today is so bound up with "the LAW" and with groups who are going to after you if a kid skips school. . . parents who want to home-school their kids -- to protect them -- meet all kinds of obstacles, even to parents being accuse of "child abuse" and other "awful stuff" by advocacy groups. . ..like the American Civil Liberties Union, depending on their take of a particular situation. . . laws based on the Wild West of yesteryear: "go out and git 'em". . "be a man. . stand up for your rights". . ."go beat the shit out of them". . . and on and on. . .
School board and principles, teachers who don't know what to do and are afraid of violent retaliation from "the gangs". . .the stuff we see on TV has basis in reality in the cities and "projects", etc. Most gay Kids do not have the benefits of living and growing up in The Dunes of Cape Cod, near a center like Provincetown with for-years-in-place town laws and ordinances which have been and are enforced to protect people . . .ALL people. . .from 'Hate Crimes' with a Town Council and Police dept hired and monitored by the TC who have gays on the Council which will not tolerate bullying, gay bashing.
Just take a good look at Jamey's face and tell me that child can and is going to beat up on anyone. . If we are real, honest, we ALL of us KNOW Jameys. . .People in and with authority must move in, take action before all this "freedom to kill attitude". . with that American attitude "I've got mine. . fuck the rest of you" just plain takes over on the roads, highways, city streets.. . so that now when we see someone steeping in, doing the "right thing" we are so pleased, relieved that we have to celebrate people for doing their duty and responsibiity.
Cheers and HURRAHS for Lady GaGA who is making a lot of noise about this and has the courage and the clout to take this right to the President.
The pathetic peoples who are elected to serve and in such situations as this are just wimping out and collecting unearned salaries and perks and destroying these United States. . . like billions of dollars to Pakistan to fight terrorism which is directed
against us. . .WAKE UP, peeps. . .listen to General Mullen and his facts and stop talking and CUT OFF the funds, pack up our young people and all the equipment and bring them home ASAP while we still have something to stand up for and protect in our own land. . . .
Yeah, somebody should tell these kids. . .well, BEGIN. . .YOU DO IT. . don't stand there with your pants down and wimp and whine about somebody ought to tell these kids. . GET OUT there and help the rest of us who are trying to save our society, our kids from the whackos hell bent on destruction. . .IF YOU won't do it, who is going to. . . .?
"IT GETS BETTER" programs are great. . . ..for those who read them. .listen to them .perhaps. . .but the problem is BULLIES don"t read. . .YOU HAVE TO DO IT. ;-)
Yepper. .. Y O U !
Justin O'Shea
14 comments:
Yes, this comment, urging of yours Justin did deserve a posting of it's own, not just a comment to your own last post as it originally was (I think)
Yes, and I want to do something. But I'm still trying to figure out how....how from my own insular existence can I do it....without getting too far out of my comfort zone.....and there's the problem, that's what probably stops most of us, trying to figure out how to do something without making major changes to our (comfortable) lives.
I want to do something, I'm trying to figure out how to get the opportunity, how to make it....I'm still thinking.....how....
What can we do?
I think we can start just by walking thru our own neighborhoods.
How many ppl drive home from work, hit the remote for the garage door opener, then close it, never to be seen again?
How many times have I walked pass someone, and they don't even look me in the eye? Nor greet me?
Look at me!!! Say something!!! Helloooo!!!
It really does take a village to raise a child.
It's like learning First Aid, Greg. It's not something you use every day, but something that comes in handy when the need arises. The fact that you're willing and able to help is a pretty good start. Be prepared, as the boy scouts say.
As a psyc grad student you, Justin, know that suicide attempts are grandstand appeals for help. It is incredible how many signals this boy gave everyone, in how many fora. Everyone out there failed him. How this happened must assuredly be the great question, and its answer a great indictment of how we live in this country in this benighted era.
A former undercover drug investigator I know once told me that he was always something of an outsider in high school. He was a 6'5" redneck, built like a linebacker, very cold-eyed and extremely dangerous when antagonized. He told me that he always hated to see some kid who wasn't doing anything wrong get picked on by other students, so whenever he saw this happen he'd corner the offender and have a little talk with him. He said the guys he pulled aside always got the message. Oh, if only Jamey had one such protector.
This is a great post Justin! I didn't tolerate it in school when I saw it and would report it to the administration immediately......and I would do a follow up to make sure they did something about it. It takes teachers to confront bullying head on and not sluff it off.
You know what though? I ( along with 7 other teachers) were bullied by an entire administration at a high school to leave. One thing they did was give me the 'duty' of the smoke pit.....for 3 years. There are other examples....lots.
So you see it's not just kids who can be bullies......it is systemic in our 'system', much like racism is.
Hmm. . .says MUCH about the administration, doesn't it. It would seem your reporting such bullying was received as a personal accusation and they retaliated in kind.
Given the number of faculties who report uncooperative administrations it would seem this is too present. No wonder the bullying continues: the bullies are in charge and try to ignore the problem. . .which only 'enables' problem people.
Lovely "proctoring" assignment. At least you didn't get the lavatories!!!
Excellent point J adds: Jamey shouting for help all over the place and it seems all the "helpers" missed the real message: HELP ME!
The comments "he seemed happier and stonger". . .I could read into this a lot. . .but it talks about our society: "It I do not see it, talk about it. . it doesn't exist. . it will go away!"
And it doesn't. . .
QUESTION:
Do we say anything in hearing distance of "That's so gay!" or "You're sooo gay". . . Do we accept the answer "But that doesn't mean anything. . .ya know. . .like.. ."
Do we let "FAG!" go. . . ?
What do these do to gay people?
Coop's right. No number of laws will make any difference without a fundamental change in attitudes. The US is a long way behind most of Europe on this front, I'm afraid to say. You're far too in thrall to religious nutters.
As I said in answer to your previous post, Justin, as long as people like Bishops, ministers, Presidential Candidates, Popes, etc. are making speeches full of hatred, that fundamental change isn't going to happen.
We can each do our own bit, but we don't have the reach of the big public figures. No, Justin, I wouldn't let comments of "fag", "gay", "poof" or the like go - I would say something, for whatever good it does. It's easy enough for me, now, at my age and in my position. I wouldn't have done it when I was a teenager and I might not do it if I were in a job like a teacher.
Answer: Yes. We could 'address' this on the spot and say something like ....I don't like the inference you are making.....that being gay is something to be ashamed of.
One could substitute the word 'gay' with anything of which our culture has a difficult time 'fitting into' the 'norm'.....like 'fat', 'ethnic', 'old',....anything that is outside the collective group.
Well, Coopsta, our parents didn't think rude mean behaviour was cute! In a society where "heaven knows. . .anything goes". . lol
It's far too often "a me-me-me-me world. . .I've got mine.. F-you!"
During the repairs and restoring power in certain parts of uppity CT [as in Conn ]after 'Irene' police were on scene to protect the electrical workers from the action of the local residents. . .yelling at them, throwing stuff, harassing them. Imagine!
Your protector friend, J, reminds me of someone we both know. "Write the book, Gary. You'll regret it if you don't."
I jus wanna mention some insight.
When i was bullied as a teen, I never told my family about it. Part of the reason was shame in who I was, and how i was different.
And I really didn't want my mom worrying about me. In a way, i felt like i was protecting her from the very same emotional pain I endured.
Well, JIMM, that's the kind of man you are. . . "bearing the burden so someone else doesn't have to. . ."
Keep on looking. ;-) Methinks you'll find a lot more of that. . now that you've had the insight.
Makes me think of Someone else we both know. . . . ;-)
JustinO
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