A number of guys who post here are older than Coops, Shannon and I. . . .who am I leaving out? ;-)
SO. . .I thought I'd ask one of the newbie members of this blog to share some insights, "experience, strength and hope" in this blog. Maybe it will be helpful. . .maybe we younger set can learn from those which forays into GAY LIFE pre-date ours by years and experience. I hope you guys will feel free to comment, share some of your stuff, enter into an exchange of our own hopes, desires, experiences.
There is room for all of us here at Justin Dunes. . . ..feel free to "romp", as it were. LOL. Justin
Justin:
I can tell you a bit more about myself and us senior gays. I will attach pictures of me (with the grayer hair) and my spouse withe the darker . He is however a year older than me,but I worry more :)
To give you an idea of the era of gay life that most influenced me. I suggest you get the DVD by Joseph Lovett " Gay sex in the seventies" In which I appear as a medical consultant. No. It is not a porn flick.It is a piece of history, very specific to NYC but indicative of a scary period in our history.
I started a solo practice in NYC in 1973 . It was in Greenwich Village with a largely gay clientele. I practiced internal medicine. About 1975 we saw an unexplained outbreak of swollen lymph nodes in gay sexually active men. Then by 1978 some of them began to die of diseases like pneumocystis pneumonia ,Kaposi's sarcoma ,a cancer, and unexplained wasting. Also blindness due to CMV virus,dementia in 20 somethings and other gruesome and macabre disorders formerly associated with severe immune deficiencies This was AIDS before it had a name. This was my baptism of fire. How it played out could be a whole book which I may yet write. If you have questions about that which
WELCOME!!
Dear Doctor KEN: I just noticed your recent addition to the blog site among members. Welcome! I am glad you like my site. Thanks for telling me. ;-) A new idea: hehe. . .would you be willing to write a little "article" about your self/selves. . . not long but just enough to tickle the imagination of readers? I find the tales of "senior gays" facinating, with much to be learned from you. Maybe think it over. . . just write the things you'd like us to know. . .? Then email to me and I will post it on the blog. However you decide, please know you are most welcome! ciao~ ~~~justin
5 comments:
Most of my gay friends are older, twice my age - though they'd hit me for saying that =p
Its rare that they discuss the late 70s and 80s. They all lost friends, one lost his lover. I find it fascinating in a grudging way (only because it strikes me as slightly wrong to be fascinated by something that killed so many) and respect you for being there in that time, your generation did a great deal for ours, in medicine and for our rights.
-Jack
Our history is important. As Santayana said,"those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it".
Ken
If all my friends were twice my age they'd be in the Guinness Book of Records.
One of our group shared this, preferring anonymity:
Ken's experiences as an out professional person in NYC are different from mine in the nature of the losses we have sustained, his from AIDS, mine from fear and an altogether accurate assessment of what homophobia does in this world. In a small, conservative community, being out would play havoc for a professional person, especially one who served for years as an elected official. When younger I denied my predominant sexual preferences and lived a respectible married existence. The marriage is well over, but the damage was sustained in the relationship I had with my children, especially my youngest, who clearly felt betrayed. Probably because I keep to myself, am still closeted, live alone, and the kids have taken on greated maturity now that they are in college, our relationships are pretty much back to normal. Is there regret? Absolutely, because everyone wants to let their flags fly, no matter how freaky they may seem to others. But I am yet unprepared to discuss sexual preferences in forums other than this, because my life is really too comfortable to allow anyone to use sexual hatred as ammunition or a basis for private ridicule. You may think this is too great a price to pay, but once one is invested in a community, change becomes too difficult.
I can easily empathize with what "one of our group" had to say about what happens once "one is invested in a community".
Once people "think" they know you when they really don't, it's too late in many cases to tell the truth.
So... start early. Be truthful from the very beginning, and then no one will ever be in for a rude shock.
In essence, there's no need to be out if you were never in.
Teach your children well.
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