A BIT ABOUT CHANGING. . .GROWING. . .LOVING

"Hehe. Every time I post a comment like that I crack up thinking, "Poor Justino doesn't know how to respond", hehe. Yeah, I know, I'm awful and I should stop this.

~~~>" Over 40 and dating? I would have thought by age 40 people would know better.
Ya know, JustinO, if you were to post articles about mountaineering or space walking, I would read them and think "aren't I lucky not to be a mountaineer or a space walker". Know what I mean?
Now that I'm a firm believer in Life Was Meant to be Simple, I can't help wondering why people insist on trying to complicate it. "


These are a couple of comments from our resident "poet laureate" posted recently.

Yes, Gary, there are times when I do wonder what you are driving at. . . .then I stop, 'cuz i think it is too obtuse
for my mindset and limited experience. But not this time. i have some rather definite opinions of few things and I am going to offer them for your consideration. Consideration now; not negation. ;-)

I have heard it said "among the AUTHORS". . .i.e., by those speaking with authority. . . that 'hope springs eternal'
and 'while there is life there is hope'. . . .Here in the States there is a TV commercial where a number of middle aged people, and a few older, are saying what they would like to do 'when they grow up'. . .and the actors say various things. One which strikes me, toward the end of the commercial, is a senior lady, with white hair, at work, decorating a large cake. . .the lady says "I'd like to fall in love. . .again."

I think that is wishful. . . .and beautiful.

A couple years ago a smart ass [ me!] started dropping this phrase "I wonder what I will be when I grow up. .. ."
After a few times at that, one of my friends said, quite, loudly "What the hell ya waiting for?!" Another time a perceptive buddy said "Can we watch?"

Ahaaaa. . ..my wise ass remarks backfired. . . . what I thought was "cute" [literal meaning is 'bow-legged' ] came back a wake-up slap. "can we watch?" Indeed!

I hope, always, to be growing and that means changing. . .as in 'getting better'...improving. . . .having an attitude adjustment.

Right now Peter is "the object of my affection" [y'ever see the old movie by that title?. . .gay guys/str8s, etc. Worth a viewing, btw] There have been times since last July when something or other, the way i did something began to annoy and /or bother Peter. Rather than allow it to be stuffed in to fester he mentioned it to me, we talked about it. . . . and, because I love him and he was being reasonable, I made an "attitude adjustment".
In other words, I began to change what in me was annoying. . . .I decided to act differently, to improve, to find a better way of doing/saying something.

Little thing, perhaps, but it has made our life better and simpler. . . .since SIMPLE seems to be a desired state of success/achievement. LOL

I think these articles about dating and just plain civil living give us good suggestions for self-improvement. We all need a bit of coaching now and then. Guys spend a small fortune buying the services of a personal trainer. Others pay out for "beauty treatments". . . ..a facial defoliation, manicure or/and pedicure, cucumber slices under their eyes. . . . ..[.eeeeeewwww. . ..gross cucumbers!!! eeeewwww ] and the like. Then there are hair stylists. . .I hear, as one grows older and thinner on top! haha All for the body beautiful.

Why not spend a little time [or a lot, as needed] improving the inner man. . . ways of doing things? Why not beautify the inner man. . . .? In group session or private conversation I've heard guys say, when a BF has pointed out a bad or annoying trait, "Well, that's the way I am. . . .take it or leave it! " In my not so humble opinion I think that is a major sign of laziness, hubris, narcissism. . . . ..

. . . .or, even more sad, a sign of some deep and major hurt from the past when even the hint of criticism sends one tumbling head over heels back into his dark cave to lick his wounds and try to recoup. I would say that even a modicum of self-love and respect would enable one to work to improve, to change, to grow into a more loving and lovable human being.

Honestly, in the deep dark secrets of the human heart. . ..your heart. . .my heart. .what is the most profound need and desire there. .? isn't it really the aching need to be loved. . . .and to be free and able to love another guy. . .that soul-mate, help-mate "like unto himself". . [Genesis 1.]. . . free from fear, censure, intolerance, brutality. . .. ?

When I am growing in love, I am growing in wholeness. . .health in body, mind and spirit.

Phew! There! I do have one or two ideas rolling around in my head. ;-)

And, thanks, Gary, for spring-boarding all this! hehe

justino