OK. . .we've had the two articles of how to avoid the "SummerTimes Blues". . . .how to get 'involved' etc. Now I'd like to throw this open to all and any one who'd like to make an observation, share your opinions, experience, hopes and needs. . . .
I'd like to start by asking a couple questions. . . .and you can make comments, add info or/and observations, etc. Plenty of room to reply right here. . . Please, feel free. . .a lot of us could profit from your ideas. Thanks. . . . . .justin
2 questions - for now anyway - do all these "suggestions" sound REAL to you?
Do you find yourself wanting to tell BRAD to wake up and get a life?!
I do. . .
Care to share? What are your reactions to these 2 articles? Do they strike you as "busy work". .something to keep Lonesome Brad busy?
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
( continued from yesterday )
1. Nourish your mind, body, soul, and sexuality.
We all need to take care of ourselves, but especially when you’re stricken with the “blues”, it’s evemore critical to engage in regular self-soothing and promote your own personal growth.
Learn something new. Take a class. Visit a bookstore. Get a personal trainer and get on an exercise regimen. Eat nutritiously. Do something that affirms your gay identity. Meditate and practice relaxation techniques. Keep a journal. Pursue a hobby. Get lost in music. While this seems like common sense, it can be very easy to take these simple self-nurturing necessities for granted and neglect ourselves when we need them the most to rejuvenate at difficult times.
2. Plan ahead for love and for your future.
For optimal success, it’s important to develop a vision (a blueprint or vivid picture of what you want) for your future, for a life partner, and for a relationship.
This will give you a path to measure where you’re going and how you’re doing along the way. It’s important to identify your values, the things that would be most important for you in all those areas as this will define your mission. Then you can make conscious choices to make sure you’re living with integrity, a key component of living a life with healthy self-esteem.
3. Become available and ready for Mr. or Ms. Right!
This means making the most of being single by taking this time to resolve any unfinished business from the past to bring about closure, grieve any necessary losses, build confidence and a positive self-concept, and defeat negative thinking with more affirming, optimistic mindsets.
Embrace your singlehood and stop measuring your self-worth on your dating status; see this as a valuable time to get things in order so no baggage carries over when “The One” arrives in your life.
4. Develop a dating action plan and skills toolbox.
Make a list of your non-negotiable needs that you have for a partner and relationship.
What are things that you absolutely must have and absolutely cannot have in order to be in relationship with someone? This becomes your guidepost in screening dating prospects for potential compatibility and will help you save a lot of time and frustration along the way. Additionally, start building your repertoire of skills in communication, assertiveness, flirting, boundary-setting, screening, etc. to boost your sophistication and confidence in negotiating the dating jungle.
5. Get out of your head!
When you’ve got the “blues”, there’s a tendency to become self-absorbed with your negative thoughts.
Get out of your head and channel that energy into something more productive. Nothing works better than helping others. Volunteer for a worthy cause. Live your life to the max and do something that will give you more of a sense of meaning and passion. And take stock of all the strengths and positives that you have. You’re a good person! Share the gifts that you have and you’ll reap the benefits twofold!
CONCLUSION
So there you have it! This is just a starting point for the cure for the “summertime blues.”
The important thing is to start viewing your single status as an opportunity. Your life is what you make of it, as the old saying goes, and you have the power within yourself to make this the best summer of your life if you choose. You can convert the “summertime blues” into “summertime bliss!” You’ll be great!© 2008 Brian L. Rzepczynski
Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, contributing author to GAYTWOGETHER, is one of the leading love coaches for the gay community. As a licensed dating and relationship coach, Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, DHS, MSW has over 18 years experience as a psychotherapist and life coach specializing in helping GLBT individuals and couples develop and maintain successful and fulfilling intimate relationships. He holds a doctorate degree in human sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality and a master’s degree in clinical social work from Western Michigan University. He also runs a successful private therapy practice, Personal Victory Counseling, Inc. http://thegaylovecoach.com
THANKS to Brian and Michael at gaytwogether.com
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
WHOOOAAAAAA THERE. . .NOT SO FAST, BUSTER. . . .
70% of Existing Marriages May Already Be Gay
New Study Yields Surprising Results
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) – As lawmakers in New York clashed over legalizing gay marriage, a new study revealed that well over seventy percent of existing marriages may already be gay.The study, conducted by Dr. Davis Logsdon of the Marital Behavior Institute at the University of Minnesota, confirmed what many social scientists have long suspected: that within the first five years of marriages, most men become, for all intents and purposes, gay.
“Soon after marrying, most men stop hitting on women and start shopping for furniture,” Dr. Logsdon said. “Scientifically speaking, how gay is that?”
Within ten years of marriage, he added, a significant number of married men stop having sex with women altogether.
“There’s only one way to describe someone who does not have sex with women, does not hit on women, and spends his free time shopping for furniture,” he said. “That word, to be scientific about it, is gay.”
Elsewhere, by a 6-3 decision, the Supreme Court asked Kagan, Ginsburg and Sotomayor to make them coffee.
Get the Borowitz Report delivered to your inbox for free here.
Posted: 30 Jun 2011 07:40 PM PDT
Summertime is here in all its glory! Everyone is coming out of hibernation and there’s a buzz on the streets as people come out in droves to partake in all the fairs, parades, sporting events, and art shows. People are soaking up the sun at the beaches, having barbecue picnics in the parks, and biking and hiking along the lakeshores and in the forest preserves.For many, summer brings about a reawakening of the spirit, an invigoration of sorts for fun and activity. But for others, however, the season brings about a feeling of dread and helplessness. Why you ask? Let’s allow two fictional characters, John and Brad we’ll say, illustrate this all-too common experience.
John and Brad, two long-time friends, lay sprawled out on a big towel on the beach and overlook the spectacular landscape of bronzed Speedo-clad men prancing around on the hot sand and basking in the waves of the ocean. “God, I love this time of the year! Just look at all these gorgeous guys!” gasped John, becoming intoxicated by all the eye candy surrounding them.
Brad rolled his eyes and released a heavy sigh. “I can’t believe you dragged me out here today! I’d much rather be at home watching my “Desperate Housewives” marathon on TV than to be here getting charbroiled by the sun! Some friend you are!” he complained.
“Aw, quit your bellyaching! I did you a favor by getting you out of your cave. And will you take your shirt off already? Jeez! This isn’t Alaska!”
“That’s easy for you to say! You and all these other guys out here look like Greek gods. I still haven’t gotten rid of my winter love handles and there’s no way I’m going to showcase them for the world to see!” cried Brad as his insecurities ran wild with every beefcake stud that walked by them.
“You’re too hard on yourself and you do this every summer! So you’re still coming with Craig and I to the Pride Parade, right?” said John. “Another one of my favorite activities!” sang Brad sarcastically. “I absolutely detest going to those Pride events and seeing all those pretty boys with their boyfriends and everybody is holding hands, and it just makes me sick! It just reinforces the whole realization that I’m single, dateless, and it royally sucks!”
THE SINGLE SUMMERTIME BLUES
Brad has got a serious case of the “Single Summertime Blues!” Maybe you’re single and you don’t want to be. Could it be that you just ended a relationship with someone and this is your first summer flying solo? Maybe you’re not sporting those chiseled abs and biceps you’d fantasized about and compare yourself disappointingly to those who do possess these attributes.
Or perhaps your life isn’t where you’d like it to be, unattained goals and wavering motivation getting you down. With all the hoopla that the summer season touts, these types of scenarios and many others can contribute to the “blah” feelings that signify the “Single Summertime Blues”. Those afflicted with this condition can even feel depressed sometimes, harboring loads of negativity and defeat.
Remember that song “Ain’t No Cure For the Summertime Blues?” It can certainly feel that way at times, but good news abounds for all those “Brads” out there with an aversion for the summer season. There is an escape from the depths of despair! Just embrace the following recommendations and you’ll be well on your way toward becoming a summer worshipper!
These strategies, however, are not for the faint of heart! They will require initiative, courage, and risk-taking on your part to bring about any positive movement as this is a prerequisite for any kind of growth. You must choose it and be proactive!
Part 2 - Wednesday: 5 TIPS FOR BECOMING A SUCCESSFUL SUMMERTIME SINGLE
© 2008 Brian L. Rzepczynski
Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, contributing author to GAYTWOGETHER, is one of the leading love coaches for the gay community. As a licensed dating and relationship coach, Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, DHS, MSW has over 18 years experience as a psychotherapist and life coach specializing in helping GLBT individuals and couples develop and maintain successful and fulfilling intimate relationships. He holds a doctorate degree in human sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality and a master’s degree in clinical social work from Western Michigan University. He also runs a successful private therapy practice, Personal Victory Counseling, Inc. http://thegaylovecoach.com
Thanks, Brian, and Michael at gaytwogether.com
Monday, July 4, 2011
The Fourth of July 2011
I find it hard to believe this is July 4th. . .already! Where is time going? One of the older Yankees down the road has an annoying statement to make every year this time. . "Walll, tis 4th of July and Summer is almost over!" which, to kids means one thing: "in a few days" it will be "back to school" and all that means. Ssshhheeeesssh,
I hate it when peeps collapse a whole season into a "few days", don't you? ;-) All that stuff happens too fast anway. . . .;-)
The O'Shea residence is in "No Vacancy" status, like a lot of the vacation lodging places are too. Good sign. . . when we all badly need some good signs. . . .not much coming out of High Places, like the Congress. . .for one example. I am not much impressed with what those ladies and gents are NOT doing about a LOT of important issues. . . . yada..yada...yada. The lot of them ought to go on Social Security, salaries for work done and not for a lifetime, after two years in office. ..and, I want the same health care program these people enjoy. Why not? After all, they are elected to office to serve the real needs of the real people who elected then!
If they were living like the rest of the US of A they'd resolve a lot of these issues pretty damned quick.
I hate it when peeps collapse a whole season into a "few days", don't you? ;-) All that stuff happens too fast anway. . . .;-)
The O'Shea residence is in "No Vacancy" status, like a lot of the vacation lodging places are too. Good sign. . . when we all badly need some good signs. . . .not much coming out of High Places, like the Congress. . .for one example. I am not much impressed with what those ladies and gents are NOT doing about a LOT of important issues. . . . yada..yada...yada. The lot of them ought to go on Social Security, salaries for work done and not for a lifetime, after two years in office. ..and, I want the same health care program these people enjoy. Why not? After all, they are elected to office to serve the real needs of the real people who elected then!
If they were living like the rest of the US of A they'd resolve a lot of these issues pretty damned quick.
Anyway, that aside, O'Shea House is in full residency. . .all of the Family are home. First off, Mom's Mother, Mme Bouvier, my dear Granny in whose home I live when at school, came tootin' down the road the other day in her fire engine red VW beatle. . . .here for "a few days". . . .Then Friday afternoon sister and her husband - my favorite and only brother-in-law - arrived for the long weekend. . .with my favorite and only niece, and their son. . . My brother and my favorite sister-in-law, and their two handsome sons arrived early enough on Saturday. . .in time for lunch. If I count correctly there are 12 of us here. . . .full house. The Dirty Dozen are all assembled and accounted for.
A lot of good conversations happen out here on the veranda over the weekend. . . it is almost "a time-immemorial custom" among the O'Sheas. . . LOL. . . in my memory to the days of yesteryear when little Justin used to race around on his tricycle on this wrap-around
porch. And I see no existential evidence this will not continue to happen this weekend. . . .the chatting, NOT the cycling! hehe
Along with celebrating the 236th anniversary of our Independence in 1775 from Great Britain, and the 235th anniversary of the birth of a new nation with the convening of the first Continental Congress in 1776 at Philadelphia, the City of Brotherly Love. . . .ahem. . .we are celebrating another yearly event.
And also on June 30th Mom and Dad, Peter and I went "out to dinner" to celebrate the 23rd anniversary of Justin, after ten years
without a baby in the house. . . .;-). So I have begun my 23rd year in terra viventium. . .in the land of the living doing so with a great deal for which to be extremely grateful!
This "blessed event". . hahaa. . .will be further commemorated later this afternoon at the annual famous?/infamous? Fourth of July BBQ chez O'Shea. All of the family is here and we will be joined by a good number of family friends and relatives of varying degrees. . ;-)
And, to honor the occasion, I have been liberated from my usual job of being the GO-FER for all the guests serving and refreshing the drinks of our celebrators. . . . . and more easily avoid getting my buns pinched by a couple of the local Cougars who "have to be invited". . . one of these gals. . ahem. . .gets a tad more brazen with each drink which I used to water down somewhat. . .she never seemed aware of that! ho ho ho. . . The last time she did that "Cougar Roam" I told her in no uncertain terms "Do that again. MRS SoandSo and I'll crack those fingers for you. . ." To which she fuzzily replied "Oh Justin honey, you're so cute!". . . ..Baitch !
C'est la vie, I guess. But I do not welcome "pawing the goods". LOL I do not have much to complain about, but this is one area of HANDS OFF !
Mme Bouvier . . .gramma. . .has made one of her fastidious birthday cakes. They look too fancy to be cut into. . .but. . .noblesse oblige and I do a good job of blowing out candles and making the first cut. . .then this is turned over to the experts.
Our annual July 4th BBQ is always fun. . . .see and natter with people I haven't seen since last year in many instances. . .and. .LOL
last summer I discovered I have a gay cousin I didn't know about.
I went to a second floor bathroom, thinking all the guests stayed downstairs. . . .ho ho ho. . .well, to our mutual surprise I opened the door to find Cousin making out like a bandit with a newly-made 'friend'. Oh we are just everywhere. . .hehe. . and find one another rather easily. . ..so it seems. hahahaaa. I found another bathroom!
I hope you all have a great fun day. . . .
ciao ciao. . . .
JustinO
A lot of good conversations happen out here on the veranda over the weekend. . . it is almost "a time-immemorial custom" among the O'Sheas. . . LOL. . . in my memory to the days of yesteryear when little Justin used to race around on his tricycle on this wrap-around
porch. And I see no existential evidence this will not continue to happen this weekend. . . .the chatting, NOT the cycling! hehe
Along with celebrating the 236th anniversary of our Independence in 1775 from Great Britain, and the 235th anniversary of the birth of a new nation with the convening of the first Continental Congress in 1776 at Philadelphia, the City of Brotherly Love. . . .ahem. . .we are celebrating another yearly event.
And also on June 30th Mom and Dad, Peter and I went "out to dinner" to celebrate the 23rd anniversary of Justin, after ten years
without a baby in the house. . . .;-). So I have begun my 23rd year in terra viventium. . .in the land of the living doing so with a great deal for which to be extremely grateful!
This "blessed event". . hahaa. . .will be further commemorated later this afternoon at the annual famous?/infamous? Fourth of July BBQ chez O'Shea. All of the family is here and we will be joined by a good number of family friends and relatives of varying degrees. . ;-)
And, to honor the occasion, I have been liberated from my usual job of being the GO-FER for all the guests serving and refreshing the drinks of our celebrators. . . . . and more easily avoid getting my buns pinched by a couple of the local Cougars who "have to be invited". . . one of these gals. . ahem. . .gets a tad more brazen with each drink which I used to water down somewhat. . .she never seemed aware of that! ho ho ho. . . The last time she did that "Cougar Roam" I told her in no uncertain terms "Do that again. MRS SoandSo and I'll crack those fingers for you. . ." To which she fuzzily replied "Oh Justin honey, you're so cute!". . . ..Baitch !
C'est la vie, I guess. But I do not welcome "pawing the goods". LOL I do not have much to complain about, but this is one area of HANDS OFF !
Mme Bouvier . . .gramma. . .has made one of her fastidious birthday cakes. They look too fancy to be cut into. . .but. . .noblesse oblige and I do a good job of blowing out candles and making the first cut. . .then this is turned over to the experts.
Our annual July 4th BBQ is always fun. . . .see and natter with people I haven't seen since last year in many instances. . .and. .LOL
last summer I discovered I have a gay cousin I didn't know about.
I went to a second floor bathroom, thinking all the guests stayed downstairs. . . .ho ho ho. . .well, to our mutual surprise I opened the door to find Cousin making out like a bandit with a newly-made 'friend'. Oh we are just everywhere. . .hehe. . and find one another rather easily. . ..so it seems. hahahaaa. I found another bathroom!
I hope you all have a great fun day. . . .
ciao ciao. . . .
JustinO
Saturday, July 2, 2011
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"If you like dance remixes of J&D's music, you will love the Musica Technica House Remixes by New York DJ/Producer Dennis Desormier.Friday, July 1, 2011
Good Morning, World !
http://www.provincetownview.com/
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