Sunday, August 5, 2012
Friday, August 3, 2012
SINGLE. . . part 2
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Posted: 03 Aug 2012 06:20 AM PDT
Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. says it best in his book “Keeping the Love You Find”: “Singleness would be recognized as a vital stage of the journey to maturation, a time to learn about who we are, to learn responsibility and self-sufficiency, to identify our true desires, and to confront our inner strengths and demons, a time to make changes in the things that stymie our pleasure and progress in life, to learn how to connect and communicate on all levels. It would be sorely needed relationship training.” (1)
Action Steps for Navigating Your Single Life
The following are some practical tips and suggestions for managing your single hood to promote a positive acceptance and enjoyment of this special time in your life:
Create a checklist of the opportunities that being single affords you and start living them!
Start a journal about your single-status and what it means to you. Answer the following questions:
Why am I single? How do I feel about that?
What do I want from being single?
What thoughts, feelings, and behaviors hold me back from being able to embrace this time of my life?
How do I contribute to my own unfulfillment with being single? How do I sabotage myself?
Don’t deny your feelings or ignore your desire for a relationship. Process these feelings in your journal and write about ways you can create more meaning and purpose in your life
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Identify the biggest challenges you face with being single and develop goals to defeat them.
Develop affirmation cards. Grab some index cards and write positive thoughts, motivational s
Identify things you’ve always been meaning to do or try but never made the time to pursue or learn. Take action.
Build your support system, join a class, volunteer for a cause that’s meaningful to you, commit yourself to health and wellness
Conclusion
As you can see, being single provides you with many opportunities for self-growth, fun, and preparing yourself for your life partner when you eventually meet him. Take advantage of this crucial time in your life to accomplish your life goals, improve your self-esteem, work through any internalized homophobia you may be struggling with, and build your interpersonal skills.
It’s important to avoid glamorizing relationships because “the grass is not always greener on the other side” and to realize that having a boyfriend does not take away problems that you may already have in your life.
Appreciate this time of your life and don’t measure your happiness or worth as a person on your relationship status.
The Law of Attraction states that we attract situations, people, and experiences in our lives that reflect who we are and what we focus on.
Negativity about being single will only mirror, magnify, and attract more negativity. Counter this by taking charge of your single life and crafting it into being the most meaningful and fulfilling time of your life with its alignment to your life vision and purpose.Cheers to your becoming a successful single
(1) Hendrix, H. (1992). Keeping the Love You Find. New York: Pocket Books/Simon & Schuster, Inc.
© Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach
The suggestions and feedback offered in this column are but one perspective of multiple approaches to dealing with problems or challenges. Information provided in articles and advice columns should not be used as a substitute for coaching or therapy when these services are needed. None of this information should be your only source when making important life decisions. This information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a particular problem, nor should it take the place of a consultation with a trained professional. It is your responsibility to consult a professional prior to making any life decisions.
Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, contributing author to GAYTWOGETHER, is one of the leading love coaches for the gay community. As a licensed dating and relationship coach, Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, DHS, MSW has over 18 years experience as a psychotherapist and life coach specializing in helping GLBT individuals and couples develop and maintain successful and fulfilling intimate relationships. He holds a doctorate degree in human sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality and a master’s degree in clinical social work from Western Michigan University. He also runs a successful private therapy practice, Personal Victory Counseling, Inc.http://thegaylovecoach.com
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~~~thanks to Brian and to Michael@gaytwogether.com
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SINGLE. . . .part 1
We live in a society that places high value and expectation on being in a coupled relationship and singles are often stigmatized for their single-status.Gay men, in particular, are often labeled as being unable to develop and maintain long-lasting intimate relationships, adding yet another layer to this stigma.
This can lead to feelings of low self-worth and inferiority, a sense that there’s something wrong with you if you don’t have a boyfriend, an excessive focus and preoccupation with your discontent with being single, and sometimes a compulsive drive to find a relationship just to satisfy that nagging need (which can be a dangerous and sabotaging maneuver if one’s dating practices are conducted out of desperation rather than conscious intention).For those who have not chosen singlehood as a lifestyle and do long to be in a relationship, this can be a painfully difficult experience. Special occasions, holidays, weddings, times of loneliness, and just witnessing other couples can be very triggering events for singles that serve to magnify their restlessness and unfulfillment with being solo. What these types of single gay men need most is a reassurance and recognition that this phase of life can be one of the most enjoyable and transformational times of their lives if they choose it to be.This article will validate the positive values of being single and will offer some suggestions for making the most of your single life.The Benefits of Being Single
Singlehood is the time in your life where you have the greatest degree of flexibility and freedom to do whatever you want.You can be more spontaneous, independent, selfish, and adventurous because there can be less commitments and more time to pursue the things you want to do; you can make your life into anything that you want it to be as you’re completely in “the driver’s seat.” You have the ability to enter in and out of situations with relative ease and to meet a variety of new people.You are responsible only for yourself and can make choices and major decisions without having to take another into account or to have to answer to anyone.You don’t have to deal with another’s annoying habits or nuances and don’t have to compromise.Other aspects of your identity (career, family, friends, etc.) can have more emphasis as there’s less competition for your focus and attentions.More importantly, though, being single puts you in the ideal position for cultivating yourself to reach your fullest potential as an individual.It’s an opportunity for self-exploration and investing in your own personal growth and development.It’s an ideal time to learn what’s needed to be fully prepared for love when you find it, to experiment safely with your sexuality, and to explore different types of relationships.It’s also fertile ground for learning about who you are and what your needs are.( Part Two Tommorrow -- "Action Steps for Navigating Your Single Life" )
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
SIT BACK. . . LOOK. . . .ENJOY
Thanks, Rob, for sending this along. . . . .it got sidetracked. . . .sorry about that. ;-) justin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LoQxJTJznxs&feature=player_embedded
Linked from the Crowne Pointe Inn FB Posting......
Linked from the Crowne Pointe Inn FB Posting......
Democrats Move to Include Gay Marriage in Party Platform
By JEREMY W. PETERS and MICHAEL D. SHEAR
¶Democrats appear ready to embrace same-sex marriage as part of their party platform, a policy shift that reflects the rapidly growing acceptance of gay rights in mainstream politics.
¶Party officials met over the weekend in Minneapolis and approved the first step to amend their platform. In two weeks, the entire platform committee will vote on the matter at a meeting scheduled in Detroit. Then, if approved as expected, it would move on to convention delegates in Charlotte, N.C., for final approval in September.
¶According to Democrats who were briefed on the vote in Minneapolis, there was no objection when the issue came up. Though the language that was voted on still could be revised, party officials do not anticipate any major obstacles going forward.
¶The platform language approved over the weekend also included a condemnation of the Defense of Marriage Act, which prohibits the federal government from recognizing legal same-sex marriages.
¶The Democratic Party’s move comes more than two months after President Obama personally backed the rights of same-sex couples to wed, making the action decidedly less controversial than it could have been had the party been in conflict with its leader.
¶The president’s reversal — he had said previously that while he could not support same-sex marriage, his views on the issue were “evolving” — was a significant move. No sitting president had ever before said that gays and lesbians should have a legal right to marry.
¶Gay rights supporters praised the Democratic Party vote. “Like Americans from all walks of life, the Democratic Party has recognized that committed and loving gay and lesbian couples deserve the right to have their relationships respected as equal under the law,” said Chad Griffin, president of the Human Rights Campaign. “I believe that one day very soon the platforms of both major parties will include similar language on this issue.
¶News of the platform amendment was first reported by The Washington Blade.
¶The Democratic Party platform that was drafted four years ago, when Mr. Obama was first running for president, called for “full inclusion of all families, including same-sex couples, in the life of our nation, and support equal responsibility, benefits and protections.”
¶But the platform stopped short of endorsing same-sex marriages, in part because Mr. Obama had said he remained opposed.
¶The issue remains a difficult one for some Democrats, particularly those in the midst of hard-fought re-election campaigns in conservative-leaning states. Those include Tim Kaine, the former Democratic National Committee chairman who is running for Senate in Virginia, and Senators Claire McCaskill of Missouri and Jon Tester of Montana.
¶Peter Sprigg, a senior fellow at the Family Research Council, predicted that Democrats will regret the decision to include the marriage equality plank in their platform.
¶“There are many places in the country where Democratic candidates will not want to be identified with the gay-marriage party,” Mr. Sprigg said. “I think this is more politically correct than it is politically smart.”
the Tubeless Wonder
Here is the NEWS. . . . .from the Land of OZ. . .
G'day JustinO,
Today, 6 months after having a food tube inserted into my stomach, the tube was removed. And not all that delicately! Basically, they fed me some kinda giggle juice that sent me to sleep and then yanked it out. But I didn't feel a thing. When the docs and a nurse, came to my bed and said it was out, I didn't believe them and had to look down to check. All that remains is a small bandage with a spot of blood.
By early afternoon I was tucking a sandwich, creme caramel, and other goodies... and have since had dinner.
So there ya go... no more tube. Now I can jump back into my Speedos (that's if I can remember where I put 'em... memory's not what it used to be ya know...)
Gary
G'day JustinO,
Today, 6 months after having a food tube inserted into my stomach, the tube was removed. And not all that delicately! Basically, they fed me some kinda giggle juice that sent me to sleep and then yanked it out. But I didn't feel a thing. When the docs and a nurse, came to my bed and said it was out, I didn't believe them and had to look down to check. All that remains is a small bandage with a spot of blood.
By early afternoon I was tucking a sandwich, creme caramel, and other goodies... and have since had dinner.
So there ya go... no more tube. Now I can jump back into my Speedos (that's if I can remember where I put 'em... memory's not what it used to be ya know...)
Gary
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