Some Shared Conversation. . . .

<<. After all, the Catholic church does consider us valid members of God's creation.
(editorial comment: We often have to read how we are intrinsically disordered to get to that).>>

JustinO'Shea said...

Unless you keep reading the same old stuff, over and over. . .you DO NOT run into that "disordered crap" much any more. . . it's more harping on "the rules". . ."the teaching". . "dignity of marriage", etc etc.

One must be selective in one's readings. . .aim for the truth. . not the "interpretive bias perspiration". We do not need to keep going back to hurtful harmful non-productive material. Remember, "the teaching of the Church" is that conscience is the ultimate norm of/for morality. We are intelligent; we are educated. . .and we are "people of good will" sincerely trying to live as followers of Christ. . . or wherever one finds one's norms for moral living. Very few people deliberately, freely, choose to live evil or immoral lives. We are decent, caring, loving people.

We need to trust ourselves and one another. We need to surround our lives with good, responsible, accountable life and living. MOST people do that. You will find many gay and straight people living this way and working in the care-giving-service professions.

We need to stop smelling around the negativity in life. That is terribly toxic and debilitating. We need to live and act responsibly for the world/people around us. The way our thinking/seeking/giving attitudes grow creates the world around us in which we live. Spew venon. . ..well, it make little things sick. . .and big things too.
Show kindness, compassion, caring, healthy attitudes. . .that creates a healthy environment. AND we are responsible/answerable for the world we create.

Easter is about NEW LIFE. Live it! Happy Easter. ;-))

Gay Relationships: Fantasies And Realities Posted: 05 Apr 2012 05:20 AM PDT Aren’t fantasies great?  You can enjoy an erotic fantasy when you're all by yourself, with a partner, or even during a dull moment at a family reunion. Fantasies are natural, easy, inexpensive, personalized.  If it’s your fantasy, you get to call the shots and create a partner, a scene or an entire world, all shaped to your liking.  Your fantasy may be fairly ordinary (sex with your favorite actor, for instance) or it may be unique to you. Getting lost in a fantasy is a different story.  Bill, a professional guy in his mid-30’s, landed the man of his dreams a while ago:  handsome, sexy, the perfect age, size – even eye color.  Bill was in heaven. For a couple of months.  “He couldn’t hold a conversation,” Bill said.  That didn’t matter much when most of the conversation took place between the sheets.  “It got worse.  I put up with a lot because he was so hot – just what I always wanted, I thought.  It got worse.  I couldn’t say no.  I felt like I lost two good years of my life with a guy who was a real jerk, all because he was so cute. ”Fantasies can be a way for us to entertain ourselves when we’re feeling bored; that’s reason enough to enjoy them.  Erotic daydreams can be a workout for your imagination.  When we open ourselves to them, we can find out more about ourselves – especially the interior landscape of our desires.  Slipping into a fantasy and turning ourselves on is part of what makes it such a hot experience. Sexual fantasies can be ways we try out new things in our heads before we try them out in our beds.  They help avoid getting in a rut and can make us better lovers.  Maybe you find yourself getting turned on by something you don’t usually do with a partner:  having his finger inside you or working his nipples harder than you usually do.  Exploring those thoughts might give you ideas for trying something new in real-time.  And getting turned on with a fantasy can help you bring more heat to sex by getting you in the mood. When does a fantasy become…too much?  Chris would spend days working himself up over a particularly hot head-trip involving a co-worker.  It had been his favorite masturbation material for months when the object of his lust suddenly made a pass at him.  Chris could hardly believe his good fortune.  “I was so turned on that I came almost as soon as I put on a condom,” he told me.  “He was cool about it, but I could tell he was disappointed.  And I was so mad at myself I thought I’d pop a blood vessel.  I felt like a real idiot.” Chris had rehearsed the scene in his head so often that it was like he wasn’t really around when things actually started to happen.  It’s not an unusual situation for guys who live in their heads.  The scene becomes a powerful stimulus for arousal.  When the real thing happens, the intensity can be overwhelming.  The result may be premature ejaculation or trouble getting an erection. Take a deep breath.  Remember that you’re in real life now, not fantasyland.  Slow down.  Take your time.  If you’re getting so turned on that sex starts to feel like a runaway train, take a breather. Some people find their fantasies disturbing.  They worry they are sick to have the fantasy of being raped, or having sex with someone other than their partner, or doing something dangerous or illegal.  And unfortunately, if they get into psychotherapy with a therapist who is judgmental or uncomfortable with sex, their feelings of self-judgment may be confirmed. Fantasies like these that involve some sort of transgression aren’t uncommon.  These daydreams aren’t necessarily a sign of anything other than an active imagination.  It’s important to understand the difference between fantasy and reality.  Getting raped in real life is nothing like most people’s fantasies of being overpowered by some super stud. If you find yourself worried about your fantasy life, check to see if it’s having a negative effect on your relationship or other parts of your life.  If not, maybe there is nothing to worry about.  If you find yourself planning on turning a dangerous or illegal fantasy into a reality, think again. You’re not responsible for what turns you on, but you are definitely responsible for what you choose to do.  Some fantasies are meant to stay fantasies. John R. Ballew, M.S. an author and contributor to GAYTWOGETHER, is a licensed professional counselor in private practice in Atlanta. He specializes in issues related to coming out, sexuality, relationships and spirituality. If you have any questions or comments you can submit them directly to GAYTWOGETHER or John R. Ballew, M.S. - www.bodymindsoul.org.   thanks Michael@gaytwogether.com

magic

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Wednesday A.M.

HEY THERE,  the COOPSTA. . . . . 


DA HOPPAH. . . . . . . . Yeah, DA HOPPAAAAHHHH. . . . . 


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Cardinal okays gay man for parish council

April 2, 2012, 9:53 am

Posted by David Gibson

Yes, it happened in Austria, but still, Cardinal Christoph Schönborn is a former student of Joseph Ratzinger, a.k.a. Pope Benedict XVI, and a confidant, they say. From the Rorate Caeli blog, via Dreher:

The Archdiocese of Vienna confirmed on Friday the election of a 26-year-old homosexual council member in the Stützenhofen municipality of the Weinviertel [region, north of Vienna]. The case had triggered a heated debate. Florian Stangl, who lives in a registered partnership, had been elected in mid-March, and, although chosen by a large majority of the population, had been rejected by the local priest because of his way of life.

Cardinal Schönborn met Stangl and his partner as part of the process before the Bishops Council made its decision to uphold the election — in this instance, at least — and reverse the decision by the parish pastor, Father Gerhard Swierzek, who had blocked the man’s election and also asked Stangl not to receive communion. Schönborn’s statement indicates that some changes to the election process may weed out such unusual circumstances in the future, but his words are interesting:

I thank the many candidates for the parish council elections. By their candidacy they showed their concern for the Church and the Faith. Thus they witness to the vitality of the Church. In their diversity they reflect the diversity of the life and faith journeys of today. Thus there are many parish councilors whose lifestyle  does not in every way conform to the ideals of the Church. In view of the life-witness that each of them gives taken as a whole, and their commitment to the attempt to live a life of faith, the Church rejoices in their efforts. She does not thereby call the validity of her ideals into question.

In the small community of Stützenhofen, which I hold in great esteem, there is lively participation in Church life even in the younger generation. A sign of this is the high turnout the parish council elections. The formal errors which have come to light in that election do not call the results of the election itself (in which the youngest candidate, Florian Stangl, received the most votes) into question.

I was able to have a personal conversation with Herr Stangl, and was deeply impressed by his faithful disposition, his humility, and the way in which he lives his commitment to service. I can therefore understand why the inhabitants of Stützenhofen voted so decidedly for his participation in the parish council.

Austria is in many respects a laboratory for the future of Catholicism in the West — traditional faith, modern sensibilities. Many Catholics leaving, many Catholics staying and fighting for changes.

JONATHAN ANTOINE AUDITION - BRITAINS GOT TALENT 2012 - YouTube

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Tuesday, March 27, 2012 4:26 PM

This is a good example of the "stinking thinking" in action which I was talking about with COOPS and GREG this morning in my comment added to those of  the last article on relatiionships I posted.  Check it out.  Watch the facial/body movements/changes in Simon, audience, in Jonathan. . . ..This says so much more than a gazillion words on the topic. . . .justin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kt3Utn4mjeg&feature=player_embedded

 

JONATHAN ANTOINE AUDITION - BRITAINS GOT TALENT...

By besttalent2012| 1 video

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Gay Relationships: Dating & 'The Average Joe' - Part One

Posted: 02 Apr 2012 05:20 AM PDT

Gay culture highlights youth, muscle, and good looks as valuable assets and commodities when it comes to sexuality and relationships.
All one has to do is turn the pages of your favorite gay newspaper or magazine (that doesn't necessarily have to be sexual in nature) and you'll be distracted by photographs and advertisements of attractive men with chiseled bodies oozing sex appeal to titillate the senses. Or log on to any dating or personals site on the Web and you'll find hosts of men demanding youth and rugged masculine good-looks as personal requirements in their profiles to consider even corresponding or chatting with them.

The harsh reality of the worldwide gay community and society at large is that physical attractiveness is deemed a significant value and those who fit the mold of how this description is defined are admired and rewarded with social privileges and positive reinforcement.
 
This isn't to say that being a "hottie" is all it's cracked up to be...they can struggle in the dating realm as well as they are often times pigeonholed with superficialities or viewed solely as sexual objects. Dating hardships for the "very good-looking" (VGL) could be a whole separate article! But it can often times be a different experience for those who do not espouse the redeeming qualities or status awarded to those labeled as "beautiful" by cultural standards.


So what if you are a single gay man who might be lower on the "hotness scale" because of your physical appearance and looks, your age, your weight, or because you may have a disability? It can feel like your worth in the gay community means nothing and it can undermine your confidence in your dating efforts...but only if you let it!

This article will offer some insights and tips for helping the Gay Average or Not-So-Average Joe navigate through the sometimes cruel dating waters of the gay community to maximize their success as single men on the hunt for Mr. Right. This isn't intended to be a Pollyanna approach to the situation because the cold reality is that it is unfortunately more challenging and competitive for those that don't necessarily fit the prototype of "VGL". But it's also not a lost cause! 

As you will see, developing and accessing a positive self-esteem and sense of sexiness that we all embody, no matter who we are or what we look like, goes a long way toward attracting the attentions and affection of a significant other. 

 (continued tomorrow - Top 10 Dating Guidelines & Tips for the Gay Average Joe & Compatriots )

© Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach

The suggestions and feedback offered in this column are but one perspective of multiple approaches to dealing with problems or challenges. Information provided in articles and advice columns should not be used as a substitute for coaching or therapy when these services are needed. None of this information should be your only source when making important life decisions. This information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a particular problem, nor should it take the place of a consultation with a trained professional. It is your responsibility to consult a professional prior to making any life decisions.

Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, contributing author to GAYTWOGETHER, is one of the leading love coaches for the gay community. As a licensed dating and relationship coach, Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, DHS, MSW has over 18 years experience as a psychotherapist and life coach specializing in helping GLBT individuals and couples develop and maintain successful and fulfilling intimate relationships. He holds a doctorate degree in human sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality and a master’s degree in clinical social work from Western Michigan University. He also runs a successful private therapy practice, Personal Victory Counseling, Inc. http://thegaylovecoach.com

    

thanks Brian and Michael@gaytwogether.com