Hello. . . .Mind if I share a few personal - as in private - thoughts? Ready or not, here I come.
Choosing which material to include in The Dunes makes me sit still and read and think and day-dream and wonder. . .all of that nice stuff.
After reading today's article about enhancing intimacy in our lives I couldn't help wondering if anyone takes/ makes the time to do some of the self inventories hinted out and loudly suggested.
Possessed of the kind of mental machinations I have I can't NOT stop and evaluate things. . . my prying-get-to-the-roots workings grabs me and hangs until getting a satisfied word. So, yes, I spent some time thinking about stuff here. I had planned to post this yesterday. .
well, I got to it today.
I kinda think Peter is better at working on things than I am. Sometimes I don't become aware of a short-coming in my expressions of intimacy until I am caught up short-in-the-very-act and know I am lacking or not sensitive enough. . . and then embarrassingly realize I am takisenseng things for granted, or coldly didn't bother. . .
and that not only "hurts" Peter. . . I am hurt because I realize "I coulda. . I shoulda. . .but didn't" but I have grown into the ability and honesty/humility to admit to him and apologize to him for/about it.
Well, I guess you see what I am driving at. . . .;-)
And that leads me to the saying posted in the framed
section
|
I think 0f the word complete in the sense of complimenting each other. . . .
making the couple more fully themselves and
thus Peter and Justin become more one.
Does that make sense? Please. . .. jump in with
your ideas, if you will. Thaanks. . . . . justin ;-)
|
DrJ, ummm... i confess, as a youngster, when it came to relationships and intimacy, i missed the boat. Not that i didn't try.
ReplyDeleteI feel one huge roadblock is pride. Guys don't cry... or don't own up when being wrong...
Often, i didn't even know how to express my inner-most feelings. And i am still not very good at apologizing.
Also, i have an issue with trust. Not only trust in people, but in my own skills and abilities.
Question: How do you respond when someone compliments you? Do you shrug it off? Or do you tell the person something such as, "thanks, that makes me feel good?"
Today a client manager complimented me for my good work. I couldn't quite hear her, but i knew she was complementing me. And i just kinda shrugged it off. Blahhh!!!
Anyhow, i figure your blog material does touch on some of my issues. Whether any of this response addresses your relationship/intimacy experiences, idk?
I have this motto, would be terrific for a t-shirt:
'It's okay to be perfict.'
(i hope you GET IT) hehehe!!!
You're on the right track, Dr. O'Shea.
ReplyDeleteI would add: ...you only need someone to accept you completely AFTER YOU HAVE ACCEPTED YOURSELF.
ReplyDeletePerfect sense
ReplyDeletePerfect sense
ReplyDeleteMaybe "completeness", like perfection, is an unattainable goal... present company excluded of course :). Maybe a better way to say it is the day someone stops trying to become a better person is the day he/she starts dying inside.
ReplyDeleteAnd btw, i'm pretty sure you meant complementing, not complimenting. Apologies for the pedantry, but thought you might want to know about the typo :).
Thanks, Bro. .one little " i" makes a lot of difference, right!*
ReplyDelete"Even Homer nods!" ho ho ho*
*in many ways!
Yes, Gary "AFTER YOU HAVE ACCEPTED YOURSELF." is the other half of the equation to achieve a correct and fully harmonious balance.
ReplyDeleteIn fact, is it not the key?
I kick myself, I should have thought of adding that qualifier in this instance.... because Lord knows, I've been known to preach that line often enough to others!!! ha!!!